Dissociation, Teenage Alters and Consent

Hello Lovelies,

I am new to the forum. I am 27 year old female host. I was diagnosed officially with DID two years ago and am working with an amazing trauma therapist who specializes in DID among other trauma related issues.

I have four teenage alters. One of them who I will call "I" is a protector but also believes that she is the rightful host/front person. She often engages in behaviours and does things that I as the host would never do including unsafe sexual behaviour.

This is where my dilemma comes in. I found out yesterday that she has been having an ongoing relationship with my lawyer. He is 30 + years my senior and knows about the DID. I made it clear to him in the beginning that I had DID and although I have sexually provocative alters who may come out (we interact with the world in completely different ways and it is easy to tell us apart) he is in know way to engage them in any inappropriate behaviours. I set this boundary so that all of us would be safe.

Now I am left feeling violated and unsure how to proceed or what to do. I am afraid to talk to my T because I am unsure if this is something that she is required by law to report to the police in Canada. But I know that something absolutely needs to happen and steps need to be taken.

With all that being said, do any of you lovelies have any advice on the following:

1. How do you deal with teenage alters who want to engage in sexual behaviour when the host does not? Do you make it a collective decisions?

2. What would you do in this situation?

3. Do you have any tips in general for someone navigating all of this?

1. How do you deal with teenage alters who want to engage in sexual behaviour when the host does not? Do you make it a collective decisions?

Collective decisions. We have a partner, and there are some system members who are between 12 and 17, and sometimes they're interested. What to do? Our body is of age, they are more than informed. Might as well let them have their fun, as long as it is safe, sane and consensual.

2. What would you do in this situation?

Talk to your T. Have her report it. Do not go back to that lawyer, and file a complaint with the bar association, if at all possible. He was out of line and you are right to feel violated.

3. Do you have any tips in general for someone navigating all of this?

Have a stern chat with the system member who engaged in this behavior, and stress the important of sexual boundaries. All you can really do is keep talking to them, keep showing them why it's not safe or healthy.