Moments of acceptance

As some of you know I told the SO about our DID which made her cry. After the last session with the therapist we had dinner and we spoke some more about me/ us having DID. She was told if she needed to leave this was the time to get out. Her eyes filled with tears and then she said she knew deep down what the issue was for a long time. That she just could not put it into words but she knew. This made me cry in how we fool ourselves into believing that we keep the system so very well hidden, that we keep the secrets out of sight of the ones we love and world.
The two littlies, Tommy and Elissa, came out the other night. We and our SO were sitting on the coach watching TV.I have of late started carrying around a single crayon in my hand. It helps sooth the little ones. I did not realize I was playing with it in our hand, rolling the crayon around in our fingers. The wife saw us playing with the crayon and asked about our crayon. In the asking, by the softness of her voice, there they were. She wrapped her arms around them, the warmth, the love, the deep need, feelings of being safe wasted over all of us. The feelings of acceptance so longed for. It was like a beam of light, electricity shooting through the system that seemed to be felt by all.
It was the core’s birthday the other day and the SO got gifts for all. An art set with a mountain of crayons, oil crayons, markers and paints. Also we got a toy tractor! :0)
Sometime just simple acceptance by loved ones and others can bring calm to the chaos; can help so much with moving forward with the process of the healing.
US

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Sweet!


And

Happy Birthday~!

watcheroflights wrote:As some of you know I told the SO about our DID which made her cry.

Welcome back, YOUS. This made me cry. I am so glad you found the courage to come out to your wife after so many years in hiding. And that she has been so accepting. Yes, often our spouses do know far more than we think they do, but they lack the vocabulary and thus the knowledge to make sense of it. And the unacknowledged but ever present secret damages our relationships in so many ways. What does she say? Is it a relief for her to finally have words for what she sensed, and to be able to speak about this with you?

Watcheroflights, I went back through the archive of this forum and re-read many of your old threads:

2011 Sep 10: This is not a Democracy!
2011 Sep 16: Understanding others when spoken too?
2011 Sep 20: Tough but good therapy session
2011 Oct 01: Goodbye
2011 Oct 07: New therapist," May trigger"
2011 Oct 12: Therapist update
2011 Oct 14: Sick!
2011 Oct 26: Therapy session "Warning may trigger"
2011 Oct 09: Play time!
2011 Nov 13: Just feeling lost.
2011 Nov 23: Step forward,Therapy update
2011 Dec 02: Reflection in the mirror
2011 Dec 14: Therapist went bye-bye
2012 Jan 25: Update????
2012 Feb 08: Therapy Update

Wow, you have had a rollercoaster ride with changes of therapist and so much else happening too. You have come a long, long way. You no longer are in crisis, nor talking about "controlling" your system. Now there is more communication, more cooperation, a formal diagnosis, and coming out to your SO. What a lot of work you have done and progress you have made!

Una+,dividedtruth89,Tylas
Thanks!I think the link below says it much better than Us.
Say What You Need To Say John Mayer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JONA_6ZCrE
Regards
Us

Oh wow.....

you are all amazing. I am so glad you came back on here to let us know. It has made my day

The only way is up now?

Bourbon, Una+, Tylas, Dividedtruth89,
We will not tell you guys that we are well and have recovered but we are working hard, not remaining static. We understand our parts much better now and how they work. Yes, Clair still has her anger and rage sessions, which sometimes leaves us with an anger and rage hang over but at least we are getting it out in the open and dealing with it.
Una+ you said it, the hiding and keeping the secrets is so damaging for us. As I told the therapist it is like we take on the role, the face, of our abuser.
Una+ the SO knows when we are switching now, she will ask if we are all right, hugs us, rubs our back to try and sooth us but she is not pushing, she lets it happen and accepts it. She is somewhat frustrated that she cannot help more. Telling her about the DID and her acceptance has taken a great weight off our shoulders.No longer the fear of rejection,no longer the fear of being found out.
These days there is a lot of co-fronting, days of revolving door switching but by all measures it seem to be more ordered, not so much shear chaos inside. Still having a lot of jump from the inside world to the outer world but the switching is much easier in that we are not having the headaches so much.
All we can do is keep trying, when we fall down pick ourselves back up and try and move forward.
We can say it openly now, we are DID and we are survivors. We can say this is not our fault and we did not ask for this. We can say we have a right to ask for help and find healing.
Regards
Us

What great news, watcher! We're glad to hear things have gone well for you with your SO.