DID frustration

If we are all parts of one person, why can't we just instantly become whole?

This is what I'm currently struggling with. We are all the same person, just fractured into different others, emotions, memories, ect. So if I'm the one they call "Self", so I'm the host, why can't I just make the decision that I don't want to be multiple anymore? Why can't I decide?

I hate time loss! I hate it. If I'm the one doing this (or part of the one doing this) why can't I just make the decision to not do this anymore? Why does this have to be a process?

I don't understand that now that I know, now that I have some understanding of the nature of this beast, why can't I just turn it off? If I put these walls here, why can't I take them down? Why do I have to work with the others to get them to drop them? I am them. They are me. Why do I have to reason with them, talk to them, get them to understand what I already know?

Why do I have to take the time to go to each of them, explain the situation, get them to trust me, get them to tell me what they hold, what they are about, and then get them to drop the walls and integrate?

If I'm them and they're me, why does this have to be a process?

I'm just frustrated. I don't understand how it works. We are all the same person- we share one body. We are living one life. Why do we have to be fractured? Now that I figured out the basics of it all, why can't we just be whole?

I feel your frustration.

How do the others feel about being one and whole?

Maybe they don't see it the way you do and the cooperation and trust will come from breaking down those walls and you still accepting them for their purpose, their way of being and their struggle.

I think the more others you have on board to be whole, the easier it will be for functional co-habitation.

Some of my others feel if we were whole they would cease to be. And I explain that they will always be part of me, and have their special form of expression which will be less compartmentalized. Less repressed.

But there are some parts that I know should be there and I can't find/sense. So asking them to come out of their fractured part is something I cannot do on my own.

Huge hugs, this is tough.

Sam

SamsLand wrote:Some of my others feel if we were whole they would cease to be. And I explain that they will always be part of me, and have their special form of expression which will be less compartmentalized. Less repressed.

This is what happens to us too... Except on every single alter, including me. The demographic went up by 300% ever since I realized DID

As far as I know, everyone in my system wants fusion (full integration). A full year has passed since my first dream of fusion, and in that time just two alters have succeeded in fusing with me. I do not know why fusion is difficult to achieve, but on the other hand it seems almost incredible that fusion is even possible.

Una+ wrote:As far as I know, everyone in my system wants fusion (full integration). A full year has passed since my first dream of fusion, and in that time just two alters have succeeded in fusing with me. I do not know why fusion is difficult to achieve, but on the other hand it seems almost incredible that fusion is even possible.

When you say it like that the game "Prototype" came in mind... Okay, that's irrelevant