what's up

Therapy is getting more and more grueling. "Tawny" says we are entering the "working phase" of therapy. I asked her outright. She said that my place on the dissociation continuum varies, sometimes more severe, sometimes not, but she doesn't think I have DID. Affirmation. She said I have other aspects of myself that I need to blend, but not DID.

I'm glad. Sigh of relief. Pain isn't going away, PTSD isn't going away, but at least my thoughts were affirmed.

Things I need to work on: relationships. isolation. identity. being more connected. Integrating my emotions with my past.

I don't even know why I'm really posting this, I guess just to say I feel like I've been lying. Going on this forum, thinking and feeling like I have a DD, but not. Pretending like I can offer advice, when I can't. I'm sorry. For a while, it was a way to feel like I belonged somewhere. It served it's purpose I guess.

I'm sad.

You do have a DD... just not DID according to your therapist. She is saying you are on the dissociative scale which means you belong here, still. We want you here, still, anyways so don't go anywhere. You struggle with identity - you have parts that need to be blended... is that not the exact reason we are all here, too?

Bourbon

Pretending like I can offer advice, when I can't. I'm sorry. For a while, it was a way to feel like I belonged somewhere. It served it's purpose I guess.

I'm sad.

Um. You give awesome advice. Srsly. Don't go.

You aren't lying, you're on a path of self discovery, there are twists and turns.

Sometimes, we try something on, and see how it fits, after a while, we may grow out of it, or find it didn't fit as nicely as we had thought, nothing wrong with that. After saying that it didn't fit, we may find that after trying some more stuff on, we were wrong, and it was the best fit. Whatever happens, it's okay.

I hope you stay here no matter what dx you get!

Divided you don't have to go anywhere and you haven't been lying. You're trying to figure out what's up with you and it's all part of the road to recovery and stuff.

You have great advice and I know we would be sad if you went anywhere.

Dark and the Rest.

Hi Divided. I hope you stay.

mystic

Thank you mystic I am staying. I guess I was just feeling yuck for a little while.

I don't get it...each time I start to be convinced that all is well, some little thing happens to push me into doubt again. I share a bathroom with my roommate, and this morning something he left on our bathroom counter somehow ended up on my desk. I refuse to jump to conclusions, but I just feel the need to get it out there so I can maybe stop ruminating about it.

Glad you're staying Divided. Sorry you're having problems with your room/flat mate.

mystic

Aw thanks mystic, no, no problems with the roommate. Just problems with me stealing things without noticing. More absent mindedness. 2nd time in only like 10 days...