mute ones

I havent been dx with DID and dont know if I have it. I am just different people. I dont know which person I am when the other person takes over. I have bad dissocation most of the time. I have terrible memory problems, no sense of times, dont recognise my image in the mirror, disjointed,etc. Just trying to understand what's going on. One of the main problems I have is when wone of 'me' turns mute. I have more than one 'me' which becomes mute. I didnt speak to anyone until I was 6 according to me health records and then started speaking and stopped again for a while. The problem is my adult self and my little/s can become mute and it is frustrating and extremely embarassing. On the forum I can at least try to communicate with smileys or animals, etc (although then I cant reply to peoples posts back or advice) but it really gets me mad that the more 'I' try to force 'them' to speak it wont happen. It happens irl and however hard I try they wont let 'me' or 'them' speak. I'm sorry if this sounds confusing I wouldnt be able to name any of 'me' because my memory often gets deleted and I wouldnt remember 'their' names and it would just be too chaotic for 'me. Sometimes I dont know who 'I' am or which person 'I' is being. Please keep any replies simple because I find it hard to retain anything I read that's why I spend time on the JFF forum where people just post words or short sentences then 'I' doesn't get too frustrated. But could do with some advice if anyone can help.

Thank you

mystic

mystic

Mutism signals fear. I don't think there is a quick fix to enable 'you' to talk when you feel mute. It is going to take time and thoughts about why 'you' feel it is not safe to talk.

If 'you' are mute, can you write things down in the way you write faces on here?

Thanks Bourbon. I have tried to write things down but when I look back there's just dots. Sometimes there's just pages of black scribble where I've coloured the whole page in with no white bits showing. What does it mean when people say they are 'splitting'?

mystic dolphin wrote:What does it mean when people say they are 'splitting'?

I think it means that they feel their sense of self as they know it is being split - so another is being created? That is how I understand it.

okay thank you

us it helped to start out with pointing, nodding, shaking our heads that kind of thing. Now she's up to mentioning extra info if the signalling is confusing. She'll be pointing at some pan way up high and my bf doesn't get which pan, she'll croack white for instance. Meaning she wants the white pan.
Forcing it made it worse for us. relaxation and distraction (in any positive form) helped us to get rid of the mutism quicker while we tried to figure out why it happened. It's been a long time since we had that now.
hope it's simple enough.

For a long time Little John was effectively mute. I think we tried originally to encourage him to talk but we were ahead of ourselves. We figured out we first needed to let him know the danger was gone. It was safe now to want things, to express himself, to take up space, and to pout if he felt like pouting.

He's a small child and can be overly exuberant when he gets to come out and do something fun. So recently he spontaneously hummed three notes a little bit loud. Immediately, he shut down, feeling something like "that was bad, I'm bad." He had internalized the fear of dangerous parents and turned it into a rule to stay out of everyone's way and remain silent.

He still doesn't talk much externally but that's because he doesn't like the man's voice that comes out. But he's talking inside more and more and outside he'll whisper. For us, it's progress.

Thank you Johnny-Jack. Hopefully with time and patience he/she will be able to talk. I have at least one other little (or it's me switching, not sure) but she talks in baby talk and I dont like her talking on the forum much. Very few people have heard her talk irl I try to keep her locked up inside until it's safe to come out. My kids have which is embarrassing for them and me. I think they'd be too afraid to come out in therapy.
Like I said before I dont know if I have DID I'm just different people. I do dissociate a lot. It can get really frustrating. Hope everyone's doing okay.

Thanks again.

mystic

HI Mystic,

I know you know Sam well and I know you know one of our littles likes you and your littles. Johnny is mute more or less. He is about 5. He sends thought sometimes (like sharing bubblegum with your little) but he is more or less mute. He fears that the T wants to talk to him so whoever made the point about fear is probably right. I never thought of it this way.

For us the talkative ones (like) carry no emotion and the ones that can't talk often carry less emotion.

I am not sure if this helps,
Kit

SamsLand wrote:HI Mystic,

I know you know Sam well and I know you know one of our littles likes you and your littles. Johnny is mute more or less. He is about 5. He sends thought sometimes (like sharing bubblegum with your little) but he is more or less mute. He fears that the T wants to talk to him so whoever made the point about fear is probably right. I never thought of it this way.

For us the talkative ones (like) carry no emotion and the ones that can't talk often carry less emotion.

I am not sure if this helps,
Kit

Hi Kit.

My little (shy one) likes Johnny sharing bubblegum. I sometimes wish my shy little was out the same time as Johnny but I know there's no way of making that happen. She/he would like a friend to talk to. I just wish there was some way of knowing when my littles (mainly the shy one) are ready to take conrol. I've not worked that out yet. It frustrates me. There seems no point the mute one coming out because nobody gets anything back from him/her. I understand about the emotionless ones I feel like that often but its not me. Thanks Kit hope you all stay safe. I'm here to talk whenever you need to. Do you have an age Kit? (you dont have to answer that if you dont want to). I totally understand.

mystic

I'm desperately trying to understand all of this and hope I dont offend any of you.