Sophie here... Having difficulty :( Help?

Kaz posted earlier:

- First and foremost I have a sexual alter (Sophie) that is addicted to rape, and spends a lot of the time she is out obsessing over being raped and convincing my boyfriend's alters to rape her. This is probably completely unhealthy but if she goes too long without her addiction being fulfilled... Well, last time it drove her to self harm and obviously this is NOT what I want.

- Secondly Sophie and/or a different alter is driving me from inside to be attracted to old men. Usually I avoid old men, they tend to freak me out. But every so often I find myself lusting after certain older men, Jeff Rawle (60) and James May (49) as examples... I don't even understand my attraction to these people, well apart from Jeff Rawle who recently played a serial killer in Hollyoaks (soap) and Sophie has Hybristophilia (defined as a paraphilia involving being sexually aroused or attracted to people who have committed an outrage or a gruesome crime). Today I've just felt a desire to sleep with a much older man and I don't like it.

I am having SO much trouble with this. It is so very distressing. Well, the rape fantasy isn't distressing in itself, it is distressing when I can't fulfill it. The desire to sleep with older men is very distressing because it is something that I can't really do... Firstly we're in a relationship, secondly, HELL that sounds dangerous!!! (Hey maybe I'll meet an old guy off the internet to have sex with him and he'll rape me - 2 birds with one stone!! JK!)

It's just driving me CRAZY!! I have these urges that are so so so so strong that when I can't fulfill them it causes a lot of distress, and as Kaz wrote, to the point of self harming once.

What the hell do I do with these urges?! I feel like I am losing my miiiiiiiiiind.

Soph xxx

Something like that... those urges you describe... are similar to having urges to self harm or starve yourself or other self destructive things. I may not have personal xperience of your particular situation and urges, but I know what it is like to feel the need to do these drastic and somewaht distrubing things otherwise you are going to explode. I just urge you keep in mind the logical bit of this: it is dangerous as you say. I know it is hard but you do not HAVE to cave into these urges. Things can be done to take you away from preoccupation with them. Distraction techniques for exmaple. I know, I know. There is no magic wand I can wave to make them go away, I can only urge that you put you and your systems safety first.

Bourbon