Hello!! New member

Hi everybody, i'm new here and i wanna share my experience.
I believe that i have a DID because i'm costantly switching personalities. It's been several years since i am conscious about this condition. I also consider myself new to this argument, with less knowledge that all of you. When i switch, it changes my:
- face expression, way of walk, calligraphy, way of thinking and perceiving things around me, way of talking, tone shape and so on...
I don't hear voices chatting in my head or know my personalities names. I'm always self conscious when i'm in a different personality. I'm 20 years old and i don't like the idea of being like this forever because it's just destroying my relationship with people and my life's opportunities. It's really a pain feeling like someone else took control of my body...i just wanna be all in one piece. It's fine when i'm with one of the strong personalities, including strong attitude, great sence of humor, smarter, manipulator with words and so on, but when it comes for the weaker personalties, i feel like a little being who doesn't know how to face the world, which makes my self-esteem fall underground and making myself hard interracting with the others.
I didn't had meaningful trauma events when i was little or later affecting my mind, so i really don't know the reason of all of this.
I hope that somebody here can figure it out what's the problem or talk about what i wrote.

Hi, and a warm welcome!

melfice wrote:I'm always self conscious when i'm in a different personality.

When you say this, does that mean you feel like you "turn" into a different personality? A stronger one, a smaller one? As if your own personality changes and the original one disappears? Or does it feel different to that?

Welcome

Bourbon

Thanks for the welcoming
Well yea, i feel like i'm changing myself and i know what's happening because my voice, way of thinking and perceiving things around me changed. And i noticed something when i switch: if i change to a stronger personality, i usually tend to ignore what i did with the previous personality. If i start thinking, my mind is trying to deviate like it wasn't important what i have done before. My memory remains intact, i don't have holes, it's just harder to remember when i'm with a weaker personality because i can't focus so much.

Anyway, i feel like each personality is a fragment of me and it's really a shame. Several times i felt "complete", how could i know that? Because i didn't felt "fragmented" at all and i was like 100% of me with all assets and weaknesses( which i could easly exploit). I felt invincible

Sometimes, when i am about to talk, i think of which words i need to peak up to form something. Usually people don't need to do this effort because when you think about a concept to expresse, your brain automatically picks up words for you. It's like an "entity"( pretty sure is me) that is controlling what i'm saying and it makes me feel bad when i pick up the "wrong" words. Weird...

I don't if i'm trully a DID, but one thing for sure is that i have heavy mood swings.

Right now, i'm on a stronger personality and if i'm a DID, i don't know his/her name or other things.
I never heard voices in my head since i start breathing.