Contacting the past

After months of debate, I found the courage last night to contact one of my father's old friends online. It wasn't easy but I added him on facebook. He accepted it right away and I messaged him with "Do you remember me?"

After a few minutes I got "I know your dad, right?"

I confirmed and went on to ask him the name of the ventriloquist, the one that programmed Samantha- the shell alter that held 5 hurt littles. Then I asked him if he remembers Samantha's cue.

I wrote the whole thing here http://www.experienceproject.com/storie ... er/2007952 but please know it is triggering. I talk about DIDy things here and write my memories on EP. Everything I write there is triggering.

So now I am waiting to hear back from him, if he does write back. I didn't mention much to him, just that my father was abusive, I would like to know the name of the ventriloquist if he remembers it. Then just moments ago I told him I remember him being in the basement and my father showing him what I was groomed to do.

I didn't mention DID or anything else, just that i was looking for answers to my past. I just want to know if he remembers the guy's name and if he remembers the last time he spoke to my father, what the cue was that my father used.

The man I contacted never hurt me. He was a good person.

I'm on pins and needles waiting for a reply.

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Has anyone else tried to contact people from their past to confirm a memory or recover lost information? How did that go for you?

I have done some of this excavating, but not much. It is painful and stressful and triggering. One person who I know causes me to lose time has asked repeatedly if I remember our encounter back in 1991. I do not remember. I think if I ask this person will tell me all about it. I have tried to open a dialog with a few other persons. They have gone radio silent on me.

I hope you get what information you want and need. Yo are brave.

Bourbon

I'm hoping this guy doesn't go silent on me. He is the only person besides my father and the one that programmed the shell alter that could possibly know the cue to trigger the shell.

The name of the programmer is something I would like to have just so I can look him up. I want to see if he is on the sex offenders list- see if he was ever caught.

I'm also looking for confirmation of memories.

He may not want to discuss this with me because of what happened. My father offered me to him. The man refused and never spoke to my father again. He did come back to get his things from storage but that was the end of their friendship.

I just hope he doesn't let the guilt of him not helping me get in the way of his chance to help me now.

As for you Una, I hope you find the courage to ask your friend what happened in 91... when you're ready, of course.

I wish you would have put a trigger warning. I am trying to avoid triggers right now. "groomed to do" was triggering.

I hope it goes well for you, best wishes!

He gave me the name. I searched.

The magician confirms it is the guy that was around.

Google search has all kinds of stories about him.

I wasn't prepared for this. I just wanted to know what his name was. Now I need to try to find his other victims.

Sending you stay strong thoughts.

Wow, you are really brave. Stay strong and best wishes

I don't believe in the Illuminati but his name is on this list as a programmer. http://www.whale.to/b/sp/app1.html

The one with the gold pocket watch is the one that programmed Samantha, originally known as Kitty.

How is it I can't believe in anything like this but still find myself stuck in the middle of it.

The magician said that was the guy that was around. I trust him.

I still don't believe in illuminati.