Trying to find the cause of my DID? *trigger*

Ever since I was a little kid, I've always been an outsider, even with my family. I could never hold more then a 2 minute conversation and never looked anyone in the eye. I've never had any friends at school, or anywhere for that matter. I've always been made fun of and picked on, sometimes by family members. So, I was thinking that when I was younger, I had imaginary friends who ended up turning into my alters, but i always just thought it was my conscious. I know it sounds like a long shot, but I have no memories of abuse, and I'm from a good family. I've always aimed to please other people before myself. When i was raped 3 times in middle school, that's when they have become more active. sorry if I'm rambling, but I'm trying to find out who I am, and the root of all of this. help.....please..

Try to develop a good relationship with your other parts. Try to be their friend- the friend you wish you had back then. Talk with them, listen to them, be their shoulder to cry on.

A pain shared is halved.

Try to include them in the good stuff that is going on in your life currently. Let them come out and do something fun for them.

A joy shared is doubled.

i just feel so lost and confused, and i feel like i'm losing myself.

Knowing what caused it probably isn't the thing that will help you most right now. Encouraging communication and trust within the system is probably going to do more for you then chasing after the cause.

I hate feeling lost. ((Hugs if wanted)).
Mine wouldn't tell me more until we started to develop more of a relationship, just like people on the street, you have get to know them before they divulge stuff. It's like working on making things stable and strong enough to handle the coming news,..to work on healing.