Body memories- how do you deal with them?

I've had body memories before but not like this. They don't let up.

How do you deal with body memories and process them (or just make them go away)?

TRIGGER WARNING, description of possible body memory.

What I thought was a body memory, literally my body going into strange positions while I was laying down, as if I were possessed, stopped as quickly as it started. I don't know why. Sometimes it seems like fragments from this memory are present in all kinds of things I do on a daily basis. For example, almost every time I yawn, my head shakes left and right, like I'm saying "no." It's like a reflex. But it seems to be linked to the larger picture of what I experienced for about 3 nights in a row. The last time it happened, I tried to calm myself. I even played some music and tried to focus on the sounds and not what my body was doing. I kept on telling myself it's okay.

The only body memory(?) that remains is the fact that every time I go to T I experience sexual arousal. I have learned to tune the feeling out of it though. But I have to wear a pad to make sure nothing becomes visible.

That's how I'm dealing. I don't know if it helps, but I am sorry you're having such a hard time. Thinking of you.

Thank you, dividedtruth, but I was talking more about other pains. I've been having a lot of pain for a few days now and it won't stop. I have flashes of abuse.

I can't connect to it. It's there but it is just below the surface. Enough to hurt but not enough to remember.

I've been trying to get the complete memory to surface but it isn't there. The memory is still too distant. The extreme physical pain is there though and just flashes of visual memory. It won't stop. I can't make it stop.

I get body memories too from a variety of things.

My T has suggested something called Somatic Trauma Resolution. According to the brochure my T gave me, STR helps people to tap into their bodies and track the sensations as well as their awareness of themselves. The goal is to create new neural pathways so the trauma can be discharged. I have no idea if this works, but I'm trying it since the pain has gotten so bad my roommate made me go to the hospital because I literally woke him up screaming in the middle of the night.

For more immediate things, if I'm with my T we do a hypnotic sort of thing where she'll guide me through gentle images where the end result is that the pain flies away or something of that nature. For myself, I try to do a self-hypnosis type of thing. I let myself relax and guide myself through not hurting - whether that is going into a safe place in my head or something else.

Good luck.