The way we lived...

Anybody else get angry when you think about the ways you have abused yourself? So many of us grew up suffering. This is all we knew and so we carried it to adulthood.

Things I have done to myself over the years that make me the most angry now:

I went a solid 6 years sooo sleep deprived, the desire to sleep was so overwhelming yet I never gave into it (I probably got around 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night but I need way more than that). ALL I did was work. It got to the point where I wanted to die just so I could rest.

Starving myself . Living on about 500 to 800 calories a day for months. I can't believe I didn't allow myself to eat!!! Add to that of course, years of restrictive yo-yo dieting.
Then of course, there has been years of punishing exercise routines that I made myself do. Overtraining to the point of exhaustion yet it is never good enough. That is just the way I lived...Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Sometimes... but a part of me is still stuck in that cycle. But it is good to sometimes step back and think: have I not been through enough, why am I choosing to continue inflicting this rubbish on myself?