a little down about this whole thing....

There was a time I didn't know about everyone in my head. And now I do. And I often wake up and try to figure out if I've been dreaming. Or watching a movie. In fact in hopeful it was a dream or a movie. And then I check my head and we are all still here and the memories are unfortunately ours.

What do you do on these days?

Sam

I breathe. I cry. I go for a walk. I get something to eat. I go on exsisting day by day, second by second if I have to.

I am kinda in the same boat right now. I understand what you are going through. Just remember to breathe.

ashesoflife wrote:I go on exsisting day by day, second by second if I have to.

This is what I do to.

I just focus on getting through each moment. Sometimes I'll take some anti-anxiety medication and sleep to forget about it for a bit. Watch a movie. Do some dishes. Water the garden. Anything mundane to get me through the time. If that's not working I might PM someone here or write an entry on my thread.

I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment Sam. I have had a lot of hard days like what you describe. I don't know what the answer is except to just try to keep going. As you do more therapy, hopefully some of these wounds will start to heal.

I hope you feel better soon, Samsland I understand what you're going through, and it can be hard to deal with sometimes.

Before we actually started paying attention to ourselves and whatever we have going on, we used to have quite a lot of anxiety attacks. Then, we started learning, and focusing, and we figured out some routine. For us, Adri will draw or write or I'll take a walk around, or we'll play music and hide away doing something or nothing, or some combination of them - anything to keep our mind empty. If we ignore it, though, it still causes us anxiety. :/ We have also recently taken up doing puzzles as well. It's very useful for us on those especially hard days. I do agree with Ashesoflife, however, and just breathe. It works wonders.

thanks everyone

ashesoflife, you are right. Breathe, and remind myself that I am still a living person. Even though I feel nuts I am still on the spectrum of what it is to be human.

lipstick. you are right, I'll go bit by bit. therapy. hmm.

Encircled, i think it is a nice idea to let each do something. I started painting recently and tbh I am not sure who it is that is the painter. But I am pretty sure it is not me. I feel really guilty if I show the paintings to ppl and pass them off as mine. But I am working on this.

I cooked a lot of food today. Chopping large amounts of vegetables with really sharp knife felt great. chopping thinking chopping thinking chopping thinking. It helped.

And so did all of your comments.

Sam

SamsLand wrote: therapy. hmm.

I take it you haven't decided what to do about that yet? Perhaps you can talk about it more here? And just get all your feelings about it out and aired? It might help...

SamsLand wrote: chopping thinking chopping thinking chopping thinking.

The most therapeutic thing I've done this week is chop down the christmas tree into little bits. It was very releasing.

I hope you feel a bit better. You're not nuts You're a wonderful human being.

Bourbon

Thanks bourbon that is a really sweet thing to say.

Lipstick - re: therapy. Not yet my former T and the other guy are on vacation. I've scheduled a phone convs for next week tho.

(sigh)
Sam

Well it's good you have a plan to speak with both of them. What do you think you will bring up?

i think that therapists want to treat ppl they can fix. Makes them feel better. I cannot be fixed. I guess I need to find out if their ego is ok with that.