266 Parts Integrate!!!! Oh My! What a NIGHT!

This seems to be what is happening, although the word spontaneous is confusing. This process if being directed, but then my T says some things are happening and the parts like to take the credit - so who knows? My T wrote me a long letter explaining things to me and it makes sense. He said I can stop by anytime today if needed, but I am so tired.


"Therapist Sarah Krakauer says the same thing in her 2001 book Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: The Power of the Collective Heart. I do not recall Richard Kluft stating any opinion about the necessity of processing before integrating, so I would guess he agrees with Krakauer. I highly recommend this book; it is written for therapists who are new to working with clients who have a major dissociative disorder, and it is very, very good. Her insights are tremendous and her advice generally is right on target."

As usual you are here with answers that make sense! Thanks Una. I will look into the book. I am in the middle of the Haunted Self right now and love it! All that ANP and EP is not so black and white as my past summaries made it seem.



the necessity of processing before integrating

The more I think about it, the more I want to know more about this. Those inside do not know. They are just doing what they feel is right.

Update - January 7th 2012
Without a doubt, the tingling is extra energy in the system. Glenda and a couple others knew how to tap this energy. Now that I am doing some major integration the tingling - energy is enormous! I have had it intensely now for 7 days and I am so exhausted I can hardly get out of bed.

6 groups have formed:

Sage (ISH), EP's, Mother Introjects, Father and Grandfather Introjects, System Protectors and Managers. Each group has one spokes person in lead. All 266 alters, plus Sage and myself are still present for a total of 268. This should make things easier to deal with in therapy than having 28 levels of alters with just Level 25 in lead. The alters were unable to cross to other levels for the most part. Integration is still in progress and parts settling into their new positions and roles. My head is still numb but I feel a slight bit of energy today.

ISH - Sage of course as the ISH.
Emotional Parts - In lead is Hope who is age 5 from Level I.
Managers - Helga is age 16 from level 25. First part to ever split -3months old.
System Protectors - in lead is Rachel age 14 from Level 25.
Father and Grandfather Introjects - A combination of Jack I, (age 4, Peter Pan), Jack II age 8, Jack III age 8 all EP's from Level 3.
Mother Introjects - Jamie age 15 from Level 10 is lead.

Funnily enough, I am reading all about integration and what comes after integration with the book: "after integration" (how many times do I want to say the word integration...)

May I ask Tylas if this is your experience: this individual, found her core self (JUDY) and all parts integrated into that self. She no longer heard voices of the parts but she could tap into all of their abilities as a whole person. I guess I'm a bit confused with the groupings and layers you still speak of.

Bourbon

@Bourbon, that was our experience with it. We had a bigger system that's started integrating. For example, we had another protector, Lissa. She was integrated with Vanessa last year. Lissa had a lot more skill with physical protection compared to Vanessa (who is our emotional protector more then physical). But now Vanessa does know a bit of the fighting stuff, plus she feels less scared about being in a fight and isn't triggered as easily now.

This is a per-trauma work integration. I had so many parts that they reorganized to make therapy easier. Otherwise we just ended up literally having a Gorilla in the room. I still have to process the trauma memories to get full integration. I have a way to go, but this is HUGE progress. The system is still actively working on this organizing still. I am so tired. I can still ask to talk to any of the other 267 parts and they answer me even though all twins integrated with each other and when there was more than one Jack, Frank, M on a level they too integrated.

I, the core self was let out in November 2011 after being put away as an infant. I had no memories of my own. At first I shared with Helga and now I do with Sage, my ISH and subconscious.

It's odd that my ISH says it is my unconscious. I don't quite understand this yet.

-- Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:18 pm --

Jemoess,

Did parts integrate prior to processing trauma memories?

Lissa had, but Vanessa is still dealing with hers.

January 9th - After 9 days of regrouping - pre trauma processing integration we are done for now. More for those interested in this process.
http://dx-dissociative-identity-disorde ... -once.html

Purpose
1. Make therapy easier
2. Reduce the role of system protectors
3. Allow more communication

What a rough 9 days. I could hardly get out of bed for most of it! All 268 of us are still present. I am told however that all twins "integrated". I can talk to them as I always have though and that parts like my Grandfather introjects - for instance Level III Jacks all combined somehow, yet they too I can still talk to separately. There are 6 groups now with a spokes person in lead who helps to control the group.

1. ISH
2. Managers (They control who comes out and they organized the system and this reorganization as well)
3. Female Introjects - Mother, sister and Aunt introjects including animals.
4. Male Introjects - Father, Grandfather, Brother introjects including animals.
5. System Protectors - This is confusing since this groups shares parts with other groups, but its not so black and white as just having 6 groups. Rachel from level 25 keeps the peace and is trying to let us communicate more.
6. Emotional Parts (hold trauma memories) - These are the parts that hold trauma memories, and like the system protectors they too share parts from others groups. Little 5 year old Hope, the one who always felt her job was to get help for the system and who comes out in therapy no matter what the system protectors have thrown at her, is spokes person for this group.

I like things in tidy organized groups, but the brain does not seem to work that way. This is what we have.

I am working on mapping the twins. This have been an interesting projects. I have actually mapped my system in multiple ways.http://dx-dissociative-identity-disorde ... rauma.html

I concur that integrated alters remain, I guess as ego states. Mine are with me all the time, they no longer feel like separate presences looking over my shoulder, no longer need to be intrusive to be heard. They still have some of their own thoughts and feelings but we hear from each other far less often. We have little need to communicate consciously because we are so much on the same page.

I concur that integrated alters remain, I guess as ego states. Mine are with me all the time, they no longer feel like separate presences looking over my shoulder, no longer need to be intrusive to be heard. They still have some of their own thoughts and feelings but we hear from each other far less often. We have little need to communicate consciously because we are so much on the same page.


They sound happy and content. Are you now fully integrated? Have you processed enough trauma memory? What work do you still need to do?


Even with this little bit of reorganization in my system so that we can communicate better and have less problems via system protectors, they ALL report pure joy! They are happier than they have ever known. I imagine when we are more whole, they will be even more so!

January 10, 2012 Update
Another Night of Sleep

It became obvious yesterday that Rachel (system protector lead) and I did not know who was who. This is even more confusing that it sounds! What seems to have occurred is that there are 9 of us somehow integrated of sorts. Perhaps this is how a normal ego state works. I do not know since I have not had that experience.

Again, trauma memories have not been integrated, but then of the parts that integrated only Hope and Jack II should hold those. It feels like I am on Star Trek and lost between parts of time. We appear to be integrated, but not fully. My head is more clear. I feel Rachel's strength.
There are 9 of us here that have a special grouping or integration in works. I wish I could nail down exactly what it is. I can still speak to any others in the system as well.

Core Self
Sage - ISH
Hope (age 5)
Rachel (age 14)
Helga (age 16)
Jamie (age 15)
Jack I, (age 4, Peter Pan)
Jack II (age 8 )
Jack III (age 8 )

Does anyone know what is going on? Felt this?