How do you to talk through the host to an insider?

I wonder if a host can do this to themselves using a mirror? I'm usually very intimidated by my reflection. I once had the experience of a voice saying, "Please look at me," and to me that meant looking in the mirror. I did, and it was a very significant moment for me. I felt like it was a trust-building exercise or something. I remember saying, "Okay but I'm scared," and then looked in the mirror. It was the usual experience of feeling like I was looking at someone else, it really freaked me out but I made myself keep looking anyway. I gradually calmed down and eventually heard, "Are you still scared?" to which I replied, "Kind of." After reading this thread I can't help but wonder how it would go if I tried talking to an alter while looking in the mirror. It sounds like it could have a lot of potential, but then it also sounds like it could go terribly wrong. Maybe will ask my therapist someday what she thinks about it.

Here is a thread by a woman who has discovered she can talk through to her partner's alter:

DID Forum: BF with DID I'm pregnant, he's violent PLEASE help!

Wow, interesting stuff. Thanks Una+

I want to read all this other threads you referenced.

This happened once for me that I am aware of but it was texting. It was so strange. Powerfully strange. My body felt very charged/revved up. Like my nervous system was on full throttle but the parking break was on. It was so weird letting another part communicate through me. I was very, very relieved when it was over. I did not have recall of what was said. But, with texts. You can just go back and read the convo.

Time to update this thread!

Did you ever watch the American TV series Charlie's Angels, or the movies? The Angels engage with their boss by speaker phone, and they have a peculiar attitude when they speak, as if they are "talking through" the office walls to him. And in what they imagine to be the privacy of their office they react to what he says and communicate among themselves silently, behind his back as it were. Talking through a front part to other parts is a lot like that.

Also, there is always the possibility that their boss is not alone wherever he is, that hidden others are silently listening in on a speaker phone on the other end. So these briefing and debriefing scenes in Charlie's Angels are especially like what it feels like when both parties are DID systems and talking through is going on in both directions.

Here is a quote from the book "Neurobiology and Treatment of Traumatic Dissociation: Towards an Embodied Self" (2014) edited by Ulrich F. Lanius, Sandra L. Paulsen, and Frank M. Corrigan; Chapter 18 by Sandra L. Paulsen, "Accelerating and decelerating access to self-states", page 387:

Alternatively, the therapist might also bypass the front part, and speak to the entire system, which is referred to as "talking through" or alternatively "talking over." These and other hypnotic interventions have been extensively addressed elsewhere (see, e.g., Kluft, 1990, 2013; Kluft & Fine, 1993, Putnam, 1989; International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation [ISSTD], 2011). By these means, the therapist addresses herself ostensibly to whatever part is executive but in fact aims to be heard by multiple internal parts, or the entire system. The first author refers to this as an "all points bulletin" when done overtly, or "lobbing a message over the net" when done more subtly. This messaging is done without enlisting the active effort or overt consent of the executive part. Talking through a part is often more convenient than causing overt switching from state to state. Talking through also sometimes protects against forcing premature conscious awareness on the currently executive state or engaging conflict or defensive stances, rather than eliciting a switch of executive states to each part the therapist needs to address in the moment.

I don't like this description nearly as well as some others, but the book is on Google Books so you can read much of it online for free. I especially do not like the part about addressing ostensibly the part in front. That is poorly worded because the whole point is the therapist is not ostensibly addressing the part in front, but is ostensibly and intentionally addressing invisible others.

This book is very inconsistent; in Chapter 12, by Sandra L. Paulsen and Ulrich F. Lanius, on page 262, "talking through" is described as where the part in front relays messages from other parts to the therapist. That happens sometimes, but is not usually where talking through begins, so is misleading. Chapter 12 does have a lot more to say about talking through, including a lot of good advice to therapists.

As usual Richard Kluft is way ahead of the pack. The earliest publication I have seen cited about talking through is Kluft, R. P. (1982). Varieties of hypnotic interventions in the treatment of multiple personality. American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 24(4), 230-240.

[quote="Una+":#######1]the whole point is the therapist is [i:#######1]not[/i:#######1] ostensibly addressing the part in front, but is ostensibly and intentionally addressing invisible others.

This book is very inconsistent; in Chapter 12, by Sandra L. Paulsen and Ulrich F. Lanius, on page 262, "talking through" is described as where the part in front relays messages from other parts to the therapist.[/quote:#######1]

Maybe it's because I have a lot of co-consciousness, but both of these things happen often and seamlessly when I see the T. There isn't a big distinction between whether he is speaking to whoever is in front, or someone inside who is "watching," or to the system as a whole.

Each of those feels slightly different, but it's as if there were a group of people sitting around, and sometimes he's talking to the one sitting "closest" to him, with the others listening in; sometimes he'll address another person in the group who is "sitting farther away;" and sometimes he'll address something to the whole group.

The level of understanding and awareness differs for different parts--younger ones are taking in his facial expressions and tone of voice more than the words. Other parts might be getting all the words, but don't feel present in the body and in the room.

I also try to relay what others are saying. I'm learning to pay attention to what seems like a random unrelated thought and tell it to him, even if I don't understand it. And to express those very faint feelings of being upset or sad that I normally discount, because I've learned that they might actually be huge and will overwhelm me later if I don't bring them up.

Also, sometimes he will ask a question, and I will listen for the answers and tell him. He has made it ok for me to not always know the answer to a question and also for the answer to change later. Or for there to be multiple answers. My natural tendency when asked a question is to feel like I'm on Jeopardy--one chance, one final answer that will be right or wrong, and no second chances.

Una+,

I read where you had stated that your husband had been trying to communicate with your alters, but felt silly and shy so it didn't usually work.

Now, all this time later, I'm wondering how that is going?

Kitten

Kitten @ ItsJustUs wrote:your husband had been trying to communicate with your alters, but felt silly and shy so it didn't usually work.

Now, all this time later, I'm wondering how that is going?

Now that is a moot point. Now I am nearly integrated, so there isn't exactly anyone left inside to talk to. But he continues to grow, and the quality of our mutual communication also continues to grow. My diagnosis and treatment has greatly enriched our lives.

Una+ wrote:

Kitten @ ItsJustUs wrote:your husband had been trying to communicate with your alters, but felt silly and shy so it didn't usually work.

Now, all this time later, I'm wondering how that is going?

Now that is a moot point. Now I am nearly integrated, so there isn't exactly anyone left inside to talk to. But he continues to grow, and the quality of our mutual communication also continues to grow. My diagnosis and treatment has greatly enriched our lives.

Congratulations on your success!