Searching for a new T (take 4)

They say that three is a charm, but I'm hoping in my case it's four.

After having my third session with my current T tonight, I have decided to keep looking for a new T. I think my situation is just beyond what this T is qualified for. Coraline came out during session - we were quite triggered when the T was talking about trust issues with therapists - and the T really didn't know how to react. She seemed a bit uncomfortable, and then asked me some questions (I don't remember what they were) to which Coraline replied, "I can't talk right now." I don't know if the T could tell it was another part or not. But I could tell she was at a loss for what to do or how to help. Which is okay. I realize every T is different in their abilities and capabilities. Not everyone knows how to deal with a dissociative person, even if they specialize in trauma. I accept it and am ready to move on. I've put up with sub-par therapists for long enough. Now I'm focused and determined to find one who really knows what they are doing and has extensive experience with dissociative clients. I am feeling strangely removed from it all, although I have some weird sensations going on in my stomach area. Almost like there is some creature crawling around inside down there -[wow that was a lot of prepositions!]. Sorry, I hope that didn't trigger anyone. I get a lot of weird body sensations that I don't understand.

The journey to finding the right T continues.

good on you for deciding to find someone that will be able to help you out best. i hope that it doesn't take long.

brandic wrote:The journey to finding the right T continues.

I have confidence you will find the right one! Argh I wish you lived in my area or I would give you my T's info!!!

Have you gone on psychologytoday.com? If you look at what they specialize in, you will see that some have "dissociative disorders" listed. Unbelievably I wasn't looking at this at ALL until the search for my last T.

I suggest trying really hard to focus on what kind of person you might get along with well, also. T2 was really young, maybe in her 30s, and her demeanor just really turned me off. My University T was in her 30s too, but she was pretty awesome so that wasn't a big deal But I realized that I would feel more comfortable with someone at least twice my age. I went to male counselors for crisis stuff while I was in school, and liked them, but I think it would be hard for me, personally,to be with a male for long term, for various reasons. Do you think you would be more comfortable with a male therapist, though?

I also highly suggest someone who is well versed in play therapy. My therapist makes it pretty clear in her ad that she is big on this, and even has a separate play therapy room. On wednesday I had my first session with her since my trip. I was so anxious and just said "well, it was fine, don't have much to say" much to her surprise! when I told her "I'm finding it really hard to talk to right now," she suggested making a sand tray. This got me going. Also, play therapists usually have done a lot of work with children, which could help with Coraline. My T is also big on Mindfulness and Interpersonal Neurobiology,as you know, and these have been HUGE helps with getting myself grounded.

I am so hopeful for you. I want you to find a good therapist SO MUCH, because you SO DESERVE IT.

Divided, I actually did a search on psychology today just tonight! I had used it before, but this time I made sure that dissociative disorders was listed under "specialties" versus it just being one of the many things they claim to help treat. I found someone I liked, and I wrote her an email. This is the first time I've emailed a therapist (versus calling them), and I actually like it better, because I was able to say what I wanted to say without getting emotional or overwhelmed or shut down or whatever. It doesn't specifically say that she does play therapy, but that'll be something I'll bring up when I talk to her. Oh, and I don't think I want to work with a man either, just because of certain issues I have.

Eesh, what am I still doing up...? I'm gonna try to get some sleep, if my racing mind will let me.

You are right! Not all T have experiences on helping DID patient. Personally, I know a T who has the experience on helping a DID patient--with one alter only. The patient eventually gets better and integrated, but is still in recovering--due to the time limited ( the whole process isn't longer than six month yet ). However, the T ( not a official-professional ) is in Asia and he only knows a bit English. Hope this information can help you~!

Yeaaaaaaaaaah. Doesn't set up a good foundation for a budding therapeutic relationship filled with trust if the therapist clearly has no clue what they are doing....

You'll get there eventually. It's just like goldilocks and the three bears at the moment. You gotta find the right comfort of bed, the right temperature of the porridge and THEN you will be settled.

Fingers crossed the search takes you to wonderful places,

Bourbon

bourbon wrote:It's just like goldilocks and the three bears at the moment. You gotta find the right comfort of bed, the right temperature of the porridge and THEN you will be settled.

This analogy made me giddy with excitement. Goldilocks!!! Thank you!

brandic wrote:This analogy made me giddy with excitement. Goldilocks!!! Thank you!

Just for you

Update: I spoke very briefly with prospective T4. She was on her lunch break from a training seminar. That's a good sign right? That she's doing training seminars?? Anyhow, we planned to talk on Monday. I had sent her a long email, which she is going to read before we talk. Ugh, why does it feel like Monday is forever away?!@!!

-- Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:52 pm --

Oh, and this T specializes in trauma, ptsd, and dissociation. And she does EMDR.

She has blonde hair... I'm going to call her Goldilocks!!!

aww yaaaay so glad to hear that update brandic. goldilocks it is

Bourbon