sujestions

Okay i posted a thred called questions and got alot of kind responces and i have been reading through the DID threds and have seen alot of people talking about asking there other personallity/alter-ego questions so i'd like some help with these questions i'm not sure what to ask or how to ask it so far i have only asked one question really and that was what her name was the answer i got was "My name is Paige" i know this is small but i felt alot of stress release when i got the answer and its good to have a name to adress her by but please if you can help me with questions to ask i'd be happy to hear them.

How would you get to know a friend? -----

What do you like?
What do you dislike?
How old are you?
Do you like to be called Paige or a nickname?
What do you look like?
What music do you like?
What do you like to do?

These are all good starting questions without going into anything too heavy. I didn't personally ask my alters these questions, but my partner did when they were out in the body.

Bourbon

thank you but what do you mean by not getting into anything to heavy?

kadssdak wrote:thank you but what do you mean by not getting into anything to heavy?

Heavy would be direct questions about trauma, especially the traumatic experience during which that part was created.

i see i think i'll avoid that type of thing untill i get to see a prfetional but i would like to know if any one can answer this, why do the alters sometimes emerge as the oposit sex to the host like with me i'm male ant paige is obviously female?

Alters are typically created with roles in mind. "you" would have chosen the sex of the alter on account of what role s/he has to fulfil and what gender fits best.

***warning triggering - mention of sexual abuse***

for example an autobiography I read recently, the body was male but an alter was created who was female. the male was raped by his dad and to stay congruent with his beliefs that only inidividuals of the opposite gender should have sex he "created" a female that fits this belief.

***end trigger ***

This doesn't necessarily mean this is why YOU have a female alter but it is not unusual at all for DID systems to have alters opposite to the bodies gender. Or even alters who are animal.

Bourbon

thank you if i'm to be honest i dont know what triggered it all my childhood was pretty good all things concidered and in school sure i was the target of the odd kid but who isnt so i really dont know why this has happened.

the only reason for paige being paige is the fact i was always friends with women rather than me i never felt safe around other men.

What do you mean by: "all things considered"?

Your answers on why you are experiencing what you are experiencing will come to you in time. I wouldn't get too caught up trying to work out where this has all come from. Especially if you are not seeing a professional yet. There's plenty of time to work out the why's but for now I'd concentrate on optimising your day to day functioning and making a start with communicating with Paige.

Bourbon

kadssdak wrote:why do the alters sometimes emerge as the oposit sex to the host like with me i'm male ant paige is obviously female?

Working with a therapist will help you find the specific reasons why you are this way.

In general, the reasons for opposite sex alters are some combination of invalidation, rejection, or neglect by a parent or other important person due to the body's sexual identity; a wish to escape abuse by being the other sex; or a wish to be the other sex to secure the love and attention of an important person, etc.

bourbon wrote:What do you mean by: "all things considered"?

Your answers on why you are experiencing what you are experiencing will come to you in time. I wouldn't get too caught up trying to work out where this has all come from. Especially if you are not seeing a professional yet. There's plenty of time to work out the why's but for now I'd concentrate on optimising your day to day functioning and making a start with communicating with Paige.

Bourbon

well looking back on my child hood the bigest issue was that my farther wasnt good with children at all he wasnt abusiv or anything just easyly agitated but he never hurt me or did anything bad he was just a bit snappy at times.

Ive said befor about the fact that i've herd paiges voice for as long as i can remember but i always thought it was normal or just me being over imagenitive or something but over the last few week she has been alot more vocal about her opinions, i have spent all day talking to her and i do feel better for doing so.

-- Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:43 pm --

Una+,
your tag at the bottom of your posts says intergrated with alter... dose that mean you have resoulved the issue they were created to help you deal with?

sorry if its to personal a question feel free not to answer that one.