Being around small children

Hi everybody..I'm a support person. I have a question I just wanted to toss out there, as I've been through this scenario many times. This might be triggering to some, just a forewarning. As abuse victims, does the sight..or being around small children bother you? I've had this issue countless times with my BF, usually in restaurants. He says he can't tolerate small children. Of course, he's not a cruel person...I feel that they must remind him of something..either abuse itself, or perhaps a lost childhood.

The change that comes about in him happens quite quickly and we usually need to leave fast.

My heart breaks for him and I wish he would talk to me about this as it must be painful.

Thanks for any input.

Wow, I feel exactly this same way! My whole adult life I have avoided children, elementary schools and anywhere else children are. Basically, i just get this awful dread when I am around them because it is a bad reminder of my childhood. I have also avoided having my own children. I do think I must have missed out on something wonderful by not having my own children, but those emotions are dissociated anyway.

Children are clear triggers in my system but not on the negative side. They trigger our focus like a laser beam and generate hyper-protectiveness. It's impossible for us to ignore them so if we're with people we have to tone it down. We are each compelled to look at them and send them a happy smile, and a wave if they're babies. If we're at a curb or walking across the street around a child, we stay nearby so that we can snatch them up to safety just in case the person with them lets them wander into harm's way. The vigilance is extreme. I've known I've had that reaction my whole life, before I knew about the alters, but I find they have virtually the same thing. I make a near fool of myself when anyone brings a baby in at work. I would rather spend time with small children than adults and I have no problem with adults. I would never, ever hurt a kid. If I thought I or any of us had a molecule of desire to hurt a child, I would have taken the life a long time ago. Yeah, major triggers but not in a bad way.

I agree with Johnny-Jack, the guys are exactly the same way. In fact, Johann used to work for Disney World when he lived in Florida and he absolutely adored going out of his way to make the kids happy. He says it's his life goal to be able to go back and work as Disney World again someday.

Seeing little kids seems to draw out some of the 'softer' personalities like Chibi and Luke, actually. They seem to respond much better to children than adults. Probably because Chibi is a child and Luke has the same personality he did when the body (and he) was six. In contrast, being around kids doesn't seem to draw Kiddo to the surface, but certain toys or games do.

Yohann, Luke, and Chibi seem to love kids. Kiddo likes childish things, not necessarily children themselves. Johnny likes well-behaved children (in other words he and Kiddo don't really get along, hahaha). HIM seems pretty indifferent to them. Jack takes on a sort of father-like figure persona whenever he's around kids, while the rest of the time Jack acts pretty blazé in most situations - they're kind of like a good trigger for him. And I doubt Dante likes children, I don't really want to find out though, haha.

Thanks, it's so nice to hear about how Johnny-Jack and MK's SO can relate to children. That's very endearing and gives me hope. P1415926, your story sounds just like ours. This is the second time I can remember leaving a nice restaurant because people with children came in, and one of countless times he's complained about it. It triggers his Protector to come out, or an elitist alter of sorts. He'll get very brazen with the restaurant staff (which is another common occurence) and we have to leave in a hurry. I'm well-aware that he feels this way when children come into the picture, but I'm not exactly sure what it's reminding him and I need to talk to him about it.

I'm not sure he realizes I'm even aware of it, though I can usually get him grounded again. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body, but this triggers him horribly.

I can relate better to children than adults. Feel more at my level. I am on a mission to keep children safe. Dont like playing games and stuff cos imagination not very good but I like being around them.

We love kids, i agree woth previous reply in saying im on a mission to protect them, they remind me of the innocense i lost because i was abused as a child but this affects me in a positive way. I feel have to make sure they get that, plus kids bring out good alters, and especially younger ones will never judge you. You almost dont have to hide anything

Children always want to come and play with me wherever I go, I don't know why that is . I had almost zero interaction with little kids when I grew up, and I used to find random toddlers' attempts to play with me embarassing and overwhelming and almost scary. I remember a couple of situations when I was young and witnessed a parent being mean to their child in a public place, like train, which made me feel really very bad inside.

When I got my own child I instantly started to feel natural about children. When walking in the street I can hardly look unknown grown ups in the eye, let alone smile at them, but when I meet a child I can smile at them without having to try, and they smile back at me .

I'm not an emotional person in my everyday life and interactions, but children have strange effects on me in that respect. I once saw a lonely little girl dancing of joy at the playground, I saw her from my window, and I cried like a fountain for an hour. Seeing children and hearing them sing often makes me feel that I have to hold back tears, I can't handle that much sweetness and innocence and fragility at once. Even when I'm typing this tears are falling. I can't help it.

does the sight..or being around small children bother you?

Hi.
Kids are sweet. I hate hearing them cry. I want to give them the love and protection I didn't get. I keep an eye out for kids. It's hard to watch how some parents treat their kids. I want to rescue them. They trigger nightmares. But only at times. It's not their fault.

I, myself, I have issues with kids, other than not liking their ignorance. But. Our Host, or Core, or whatever the Hell you want to call her despises kids. She can't stand the sight of them. Especially when seeing them getting along with their parents. I don't know the whole story. Only what she says to me. All I know is that she complains about getting insanely jealous about them having a better life than her. Even went on a crazy streak, saying that she should have been in their shoes, and someone else was suppose to suffer in her place. That was a weird point in time for us, to say the least.

-Kendra