appearances

Has anyone else had issues where alters wanted to wear different clothes or change hair and constantly argued about it? i cant seem to make them stop. i used to have this ring that my alters would flip around every time one of them were out, this helped cause when i lose time i could figure out what happened, but now they just wont leave me alone about it. any suggestions?
- Maximilian

I haven't had arguements among the alters, but yes, a few of them do have different preferences in clothing. Currently, my head is shaved because Coach prefers that look.

Not so much arguments but strongly expressed attitudes and judgments of whatever the person dressing in the morning, usually me, puts on. I'm LL Bean, Jonathan veers toward metrosexual (though it's tough to achieve when you won't look in a mirror!), Jack prefers jeans, Marc is absolutely appalled at our "shopping-mall wardrobe," Quato would have us go goth or James Dean or something if I let him, and Little John keeps putting on a hoodie, though that's mostly because he's cold and it's cuddly. There doesn't seem to be much possibility of a compromise and they're mostly stuck with my boring wardrobe for now. Dan wants to make the hair blond again (!?).

I guess you could try to find a compromise that's somewhere in between or they can take turns with the garb and the hair?

Has doing that made things easier?

The alters in my system are not putting up as much of a fight as yours may be. We do, however, want to feel comfortable and "ourselves" when we're in the body. Due to abuse, some of us can't endure any constricting clothing. I would think buying clothes that are specifically for various parts would help. Dan wants some decent sports clothing so we really need to do something about that in short order. Maybe you could carry different accessories that would let any individual feel they're being respected and accommodated. For example, I would prefer that we had a variety of ties at work so I would feel more myself. On the other hand, John rarely wears one so drawing attention to a change in dress along with my own increased presence wouldn't be wise, considering we don't act the same.

Maybe you could hold a council or open up discussion for how this can be resolved. In our system as long as there's respect paid to everyone's individuality, we can be pretty understanding despite our radically different preferences. But most are simply never going to like John's wardrobe, that is certain.

John's wardrobe is decidedly boring, but at least it is fairly neutral. I shudder to think about what our closet would look like if Quato were host or what our finances would be like if Marc-Dominic were. No offense, fellows.

I have been having a major wardrobe crisis this past week. Lately I have been feeling very sexual and wanting to wear tight fitting clothes that show off tits and ass. That boils down to snug low cut tank tops and a couple pairs of form fitting jeans. Then there are frequent moments when I feel utterly obscene and want to change. A few times I even had to take an emergency shower. I have emptied out my closet and dresser and am trying to sort through the clothes and get rid of anything I have not worn for years. I am feeling major conflicts over ratty old T-shirts, guy clothes, girl clothes, too big concealing androgynous sweaters, dowdy skirts and dresses from 20+ years ago. Sigh... Resisting the urge to go on a body-sculpting fitness binge.

Thank you for the suggestions we will try them all. I am hoping with a little more convincing my alters and i can come to an agreement. Una maybe these same suggestions could work for you too. i hope everything works out
- Maximilian

This too shall pass. I know why I am feeling strange: I have an alter delurking now. I am experiencing lots of new passive influence, some conversation in my head, and some physical possession.

Nadine and Felicia are the only ones who care what I wear. I like sort of casual, not-too-tight, not-too-loose clothing. Stuff that fits right, you know? But Nadine wants me to dye my hair blonde and wear baggier clothes, big sneakers, jackets, and gloves (ghetto/goth fashion, I guess), and Felicia feels more at home in low-cut, tight-fitting tanks and ridiculously short skirts. The others don't really mind what I wear. I wear sweatpants for Nadine and this red tank for Felicia, but otherwise, I can't really compromise with them, because I don't own the clothes they want.

Compromising is a good idea! Change something little that's not too obvious to your friends and family, but makes the alters happy. If they're not satisfied, you have some leverage by telling them at least you made an effort for them!

I used to dye my hair and change hairstyle a lot because I regularly started 'hating' my old hair. It seems though that everyone (in here) likes the long and natural hairstyle I have now. Trying to find the right clothes for an occasion has always been an issue for me, selecting what to wear would be so confusing on so many levels. I have still the bad habit of buying too many clothes for one person, and most of them I never actually wear. I never even think of clothes when I'm at home as long as they feel comfortable, but when I have to go somewhere there's bound to be controversies over clothing, because parts of me want to show off and parts want to be unnoticed.