Crying when praised?

compliments = lies
praise = trickery

can't stand either. it's so difficult and painful to hear nice things about me.
i know what i used to be good at. i was good at it, and i knew it.
but tell me so, even then, even now, and i flinch.
yell the nastiest meanest insults and degrading crap to me, and i can shrug it off, hellz, even agree with ya.
whisper the smallest of compliments, and it'll make me cover my ears and scream at you, as inside i'm ripped to shreds
i much prefer critiques and criticism to praise and glorification.

always getting picked on for things they wanted to be better, the things i struggled with.

then my talents became chores.
only time i got praise for things i loved was when it made them look good.
even then, was always followed with a critique, example: "you pulled off that piano piece, but i think i heard a few mistakes"... when they weren't my instructor, don't know music, can't read music, probably only ever heard the piece when they forced me to practice... sigh.

to the point, even if i am good at anything and i can see it, i still can't believe it.
i could always be better, but i never will.

"it's a trick"
"lies"
"setting you up for failure"

yup. i've said enough.

~*entropy*~

Wow i can relate to this! Thanks for sharing! I have had similiar responses as well.