DID and sleep (or a lack there of)

I have hesitated to ask, cause i am not sure how to word this... I can't sleep, literally, not sleeping at all. I can stay awake for 48 hours before I fall asleep and then it is restless and short lived.

My Therapist told me that she met an alter that spoke of staying awake to protect us from things at night when we were younger. but even though these things are not currently happening, we still sit awake. I personally do not know this alter yet. I have tried sleeping pills and so far, nothing really works. I don't sleep until I am so exhausted that my physical body actually gives out.

Does anyone relate to having an alter keep you from sleeping? if so, what do you do? Does anyone have suggestions? We really need to get some sleep. and somehow, get through to this alter who won't sleep.

Tavitajoy

I myself used to have DID and I have a few friends who have DID. One of my friends has an alter that is able to fight off all symptoms of sleepiness...even when taking sleep medication too. She would go forever without the host or anyone getting any sleep. I believe she and her therapist worked on the how's and why's this took place. The problem isn't completely resolved but it is much better.

Kathy

[quote="sweetngentle"]I myself used to have DID"


You used to have DID?? where did it go and how did it do that? if you don't mind sharing. . . I am very curious.

Well, I guess I say I used to have it...like it traveled away from me..LOL!! But I became integrated after many years of counseling. Most of it was spontaneous integrations and required no effort from me or my T. My T & I just worked with each alter as they wished to come out and helped them to see that I was stronger and had learned new ways of coping with reality. If they needed some TLC they got it...anything to help them. After doing this for a good many years (I'm ancient 52...soon to be 53 y old)I was integrated.

I still have times when the going gets rough and I want to retreat and create an alter to carry my burden...but I have learned to cope with life in a more healthy direct manner and that has lightened my load.

Take Care,
Kathy

WoW. it sounds like the direction my therapist and I want to go. we have been doing research to find out how. not realizing it happens spontanious. I wonder if that happens for all or most people with DID? I realize many choose not to even consider integration, but after 5 years, it is something that I am interested in.

I don't understand how it works and I am very curious. our biggest concern is that we are worried about who we will be, what kind of "personality" we will have after it is done.

I often wonder what other people think about integration. and if they are even willing to discuss it.

I know what you mean. I have one friend who is completely turned off by integration. She likes (for the most part) being the way she is and intends to stay multiple.

It is difficult to put into words exactly what are the feelings of an alter shortly before integration. My T found out best through trial and error. We found that if we pushed for an integration it would happen but soon thereafter that alter would slip away and become multiple again. I think they just weren't ready to become integrated.

Sometimes the integration was so subtle that I barely noticed it. I would simply come to a point where I could no longer remember the alter's name without looking at the may I had drawn for my particular system.

Wishing You Well,
Kathy

" I would simply come to a point where I could no longer remember the alter's name"

There seem to be alters that fall into that same category, I can't remember their names, I have a vague memory of them being there, but cannot remember the differences in their personalities. I thought it meant I had made it up, so I have been questioning everything... I never thought about it that way. I will have to check things out inside some more and see if I can find out what is happening.

[/quote]

I'm sure many would have opinions on integration. I hate the word, personally. I think it just gets under my skin as another way of saying "normal" but it's my rebellious side coming out. I'm trying hard to instead see it as "cooperation" or "healing".

I'm sure it'll happen in some ways - I know, as you said, that sometimes alters just fade. The issue I have is more come to the surface that feel new or that know things I had no idea of and feel new/old in that way.

I am working to resolve the touchy feeling I get with the word integration but meanwhile I'll use cooperation so I'll feel better about it.

As for the sleeplessness I've found some of my "littles" or younger alters were so afraid of the nightmares or the act of sleeping/closing my eyes that they would resist at all costs. After finding out slowly how to basically "mother" my alters, I seemed to find the light and I sleep much better. I'm off sleep aids for now and hope to continue restful sleep. Sometimes, though, nights are hard still. It's not 100% but it's MUCH better!

Cat

I have these sleep problems, too. I can easily go for a day or two without a wink of sleep, and when I do get into it it's fitful and I'm constantly pulled from a sort of half-sleep back awake. It's quite frustrating.
I have yet to find the cause of this in myself, either, but I understand where you're coming from. I find music to be helpful for me, but it could differ for everyone.

my patterns of sleep change rapidly and lately i've been fighting sleeping real good at night but anytime in the AM after i get around 4 hours at the most, i wake up and have trouble going 'back' to sleep. i've managed to get back to sleep or to wake up and later take a nap during the day but that's such a bad habit.

i know when i was in deep depression i would sleep during the day and then not be tired at night. i think my younger alters felt if i slept during the day to hide from life - at night we could stay up and avoid nightmares.

i've since tried to convince them via journals and self-talk that it's ok to sleep at night and we'll be safe now that we're out of the trauma situation.

i don't know why i wake up so early and can't get back to sleep. it's almost like my body says "enough!" or something. i am working to curb it and if i absolutely cannot sleep - i do NOT come to the computer as it's said to keep you awake more. the monitor light will enhance your urge to stay up where if you read a book or get a glass of milk or orange juice then go back to bed sometimes that's much better.

anyone else do this instead of simply a lack of sleep before the go to bed?

-cat