help

how do you know that you have mulitple personalities. can you figure it out without going to the doctor. I think I got it because my handwritting changes, I hear voices in my head and some of them don't speak english, I also wear glasses sometimes, but not other times, I have clothes I don't know where they came from, sometimes my medicine works and sometimes it doesn't . I also sometimes write like a baby, well alittle...

I think it is important to seek help from a professional therapist. It is not easy to diagnos a dissociative disorder. There are numerous symptoms that also fit other types of disorders and without a proper diagnosis the client cannot get the appropriate treatment. Self-diagnosis can cause more issues. Dissociative disorders are complicated. I have met so many people who have fit themselves into the criteria and have gotten worse. I have met people who become alters once they have convinced themselves they were dissoicative. They have incorporated the sypmtom that they have either read about, or that others have discussed.

Recently I have been browsing the internet for a place to call home. I can't find anything because I see too many people who believe they have alters. They go around talking like children and even talking about things I can't even phathom a young alter talking about. So that makes me wonder.

I don't want to associate myself to all of this. It makes me feel as if I am a freak. People make fun of people with DID because they think all of us who really suffer are acting. Just when I thought people were starting to believe that DID was real, there seems to be a lot of people who think they have it. They want to introduce their cute littles to their therapist. Their bigs abandons the teen. Alters are killing themselves. On top of that people use words like multiple and we are many and dissociative kid as their handle. Either there is no creativity or people live to be multiple.

I agree with you. There seem to be so many who want to self diagnose themselves as DID. It makes it hard to read sometimes when I desperately want to chat with a person who truly had DID and can understand what it is like and what is going on with me. I never had the courage to say what you did but I am glad someone could. Thank you.

Dear guest,

I mean no disrespect but I'm having a hard time understanding some things after reading your post.

I've just recently been dx (although, my Ts have been saying dissociative issues for approx 5 months). I have other dxs as well - including PTSD.

I felt so validated when my T finally recognized and said DID to me - because for the first time in my life, things make sense. Five months ago, however, I never suspected 'multiple personalites' because I was not like Sybil (that's what I thought of when I thought of multiple personalites). I thought I was just strange, crazy and couldn't tell reality from fantasy. I was doing and wanting to do stuff that was totally out of character for me. I had feelings of becoming possessed, of others being around/with me, conversations between them in my head, and I started to have conversations with them.

Since childhood, I have felt a male presence who it felt like would become me or I would become him. Everything about me would change when this occured - the way I dressed, the things I desired, the way I wrote, how I wanted to spend my time, the way I conversed with people. I didn't understand why it would happen - just chalked it up to my needing some form of escape (plus, I knew I was creative because I write). It always felt like I was off to the side watching him while he was present. Yet, i sometimes knew what he was feeling, thinking etc.

These were my main symptoms five months ago and why the dissociative issues came up.

I guess my point is, I'm concerned because I don't fit the Sybil descriptsion of DID. I'm not sure what your description is. My understanding is that Sybil is an extremem case and most people with DID do not present that way. I guess I am wondering why you feel that many people who think they have DID, don't.

You say that they talk of having alters - isn't that part of having DID - having alters? I really mean you no disrespect. I'm really just trying to understand your viewpoint. Are you saying that one can't communicate with their alters?

I admit, I don't understand alters killing themselves (I read that, too) and some other stuff. But I feel I have found very good support on some of the DID web sites. I have meant a few wonderful people who have become good friends to me. A couple of times, posting and being posted to, has gotten me through some very difficult times.

I hope you understand that I mean no disrespect. I'm just really interested in why you said what you did. I'm trying to understand.

Any insight you are feel comfortable and are willing to share is appreciated.

Wishing you the best,
Stolen

It isn't about people talking to or about their alters. I just can't see how people who have not been diagnosed seem to know the names, ages, and jobs of their 'alters' and can tell the whole world all about it. Why would anyone do that? They don't want to figure out how to cope with it, they want everyone to know they have it too. They know they have it because the alters took turns telling them. Then they start to see that others have problems and they start backstepping, that their alters argue with each other. I read on one board that a therapist thought the alters were an escape from reality and then suddenly they decided they needed to go to neverland and proceded to be alice in wonderland.

I know everyone is different, but I just don't understand why people are drawn to be multiple. There are other disorders that have many of the same symptoms. You were seeing a therapist and he finally diagnosed DID. Why did it take so long? Because it is complicated and he didn't want to jump to conclusions? He wanted to make sure it wasn't something else and that you absolutely fit the criteria? If it takes a trained professional to figure it out, how can someone diagnose them self? And how can someone know everything about their alters without ever having to work with it?

Okay, think about this. Would you ever leave the younger parts to fend for themselves. Do they have the capability to tell people about bad things? Would you ever let them?

Hi Guest,

Hope you join b/c I think that your comments are quite insighful. I have had similar thoughts to you. Thank you for expressing them. They were overdue.

DID/MPD has had much greater publicity than other dissociative states such as those associated with ptsd. DID has been the subject of movies, like Sybil. I don't think there are many with DID like Sybil. I know that my selves for the most part are not particularly "dramatic" . For the most part no one even knows about the way I exist in the world. At work, people would be far more likely to talk about the self-centered, egocentric, know-it-all who is shallow and irritating (the worker who obviously has narcissistic personality disorder) than to talk about me.

I don't know what purpose it serves for people who are not did (according to the criteria set out in the DSM)to believe that they are. People have a multitude of reasons for what they do.

I think that this leads us back to the need for an accurate diagnosis from a qualified professional.

I could tell you that I have a myriad of physical symptoms that could point to a number of physical diseases. Some people do read a medical textbook and think that they can diagnose themselves. They can also come to believe that they have the symptoms of many physical and/or mental disorders which in reality they don't.

Overall, from what I have read, an accurate diagnosis of did will become apparent over time in therapy.

Hope this helps.

Dear Guest and mermaid (hi, mermaid - hope everything is okay with you).

Thanks for the responses. I find both your responses thought provoking. This is all so new for me so I really do appreciate your responding. Please continue to respond if either of you feel to.

Guest - about alters. I know my male alter as I said, because I have been aware of him since childhood. When the possibility first arose of my being dissociative, i, of course, immediately began to seek information. Somewhere I read how communication with your alters is a therapy goal. It was rcommended somewhere to begin to talk to them. So, I did. I read something like, if you hear answers, except them.

As for knowing ages, I have had a feel for this male's age just because of the things he does and desires, and the way it feels when I am him, or he is me, or however you want to term it.

The other ones it isn't so easy for me. But I have journaled a lot (because I saw that recommendation), and it seems like I do have a feel for the approx ages of the ones I know of. And some, it feels, have given their names (am I making this up?). I am questioningl this, and what you have to say, because I do not want to be making it up. I do not want to be making up that I have DID.

As for their jobs, that is another story - I just recently think I've realized what the male's job (purpose?) is. I don't know what any of the others' jobs are at this point or even understand what 'job' really implies.

I am stumbling in the dark, here. I am reading and seeking information as to how to best handle and do things. And, for me, it does help coming to the boards (just like now - what I am reading from the two of you is making me question things) With all the information and opposing viewpoints, it feels like I am weeding my way towards what I should do, but it still helps. And, I guess I share things to see if others have similar experiences, for feedback - (so, in some way, I might feel a little bit more normal, and validated). Plus, I post for the support I feel I do receive from others on certain boards.

I have had arguing in my head, though. It's true. It was more when I first become aware that there were others besides just the one male. I do seem to have two who are in conflict. i don't know what this means. I can only say that it occured and that's how it feels.


Also, I want to say that though the acutal DID dx came less than a week ago for me, of the dxs that arose as a possiblity (several), the one that hit home for me the most (I researched each one as it was given), the DID, I felt, most actuarly described my experience, even before the actual dx was given.

I do appreciate you insights and thoughts on this. You have given me food for thought.

Mermaid - I am seen by others around me as strange, fickle, emotional, moody, different.
I've had people's eyes bulge out of their sockets with the sudden change in behavior, or a reaction, or when I start doing, saying and wanting things that are so out of character for me. I've had people say "I didn't know that was in you. Where'd that come from, and you're like a jekyl and hyde (sp?). My aunt actually guessed I was DID (she called it a split personality) without me having to tell her.

Anyway - thanks for sharing your insights and thoughts with me. I really do appreciate it.

Sending best wishes to you both,
Stolen

PS - hope I have not offended either of you in any way. This is not my intentions.

Greetings Stolen,

Thank you for your reply. I had a more or less similar experience to you. I was aware of a younger girl. I didn't know what to do. The best was when she had knowledge that I didn't have. When I checked it out, I thought, wow, something's goin' on. When I would journal "they" would express themselves. I initially thought it was just my imagination and that everyone's imagination worked like this.

You are actually starting to stumble into the "light", hun. (lol) As time goes on, the process takes on a life of it's own and you will be able to go with "the flow" of it more. I would suggest you trust yourself with how you want to communicate with the dissociated parts of yourself.

I would suggest that you and your therapist read Colin Ross' book on DID. Other good information can be found in books written by Putnam and Kluft.

The best advice that I think I can give you is to trust that your psyche knows it way home. You need a therapist who understands this and who can provide you with an arena in which you can heal.

By all means communicate with your alters. As you start to do this, it may make things start to shift. Some alters may hear you. Others may not. Some alters communicate with each other, but not with you. I found that as the alters became safe and got used to being out you will learn alot more about them and they will go with the process too. It will take awhile for all of you to realize and accept that you are all on the same team and that each one brings something valuable to you that enables you to have a much richer and stronger sense of yourself.

Initially, I found it a relief. At last I had an explanation and a diagnosis (did) that actually described how I experienced being in the world. It also became somewhat overwhelming too. I wanted to fix things up right away. I have woken up in the middle of the night b/c of alters arguing in my head. Yes, there are peculiar features to this disorder. But it also goes to show you that there's
alot we still don't understand about the human psyche. In the 1950s DID was considered to be extremely rare. Incest was also considered to extremely rare. I wonder what they'll be saying about DID in another 50 years?

It's taken me a long time to get to know my alters. Some have names. Others are known by what they do (eg the cleaner, the student,the protector, etc) And there are alters who don't have names and don't know how old they are. My T and I can usually get a rough idea by how they speak and what they speak about as to what their age is approximately.

At first their name and age, etc. seemed to be so important. As the years have past and considerable integration has occurred, this has become much more ordinary and way less anxiety provoking.

I've said more than enough for one post!

Bye for now.

Greetings Stolen,

Thank you for your reply. I had a more or less similar experience to you. I was aware of a younger girl. I didn't know what to do. The best was when she had knowledge that I didn't have. When I checked it out, I thought, wow, something's goin' on. When I would journal "they" would express themselves. I initially thought it was just my imagination and that everyone's imagination worked like this.

You are actually starting to stumble into the "light", hun. (lol) As time goes on, the process takes on a life of it's own and you will be able to go with "the flow" of it more. I would suggest you trust yourself with how you want to communicate with the dissociated parts of yourself.

I would suggest that you and your therapist read Colin Ross' book on DID. Other good information can be found in books written by Putnam and Kluft.

The best advice that I think I can give you is to trust that your psyche knows it way home. You need a therapist who understands this and who can provide you with an arena in which you can heal.

By all means communicate with your alters. As you start to do this, it may make things start to shift. Some alters may hear you. Others may not. Some alters communicate with each other, but not with you. I found that as the alters became safe and got used to being out you will learn alot more about them and they will go with the process too. It will take awhile for all of you to realize and accept that you are all on the same team and that each one brings something valuable to you that enables you to have a much richer and stronger sense of yourself.

Initially, I found it a relief. At last I had an explanation and a diagnosis (did) that actually described how I experienced being in the world. It also became somewhat overwhelming too. I wanted to fix things up right away. I have woken up in the middle of the night b/c of alters arguing in my head. Yes, there are peculiar features to this disorder. But it also goes to show you that there's
alot we still don't understand about the human psyche. In the 1950s DID was considered to be extremely rare. Incest was also considered to extremely rare. I wonder what they'll be saying about DID in another 50 years?

It's taken me a long time to get to know my alters. Some have names. Others are known by what they do (eg the cleaner, the student,the protector, etc) And there are alters who don't have names and don't know how old they are. My T and I can usually get a rough idea by how they speak and what they speak about as to what their age is approximately.

At first their name and age, etc. seemed to be so important. As the years have past and considerable integration has occurred, this has become much more ordinary and way less anxiety provoking.

I've said more than enough for one post!

Bye for now.

I just wanted to say how much I respect all of you. I have been wanting to ask for some good book rec. and I see that mermaidmo has left a couple in your last post. Thanks, for putting it out there.