IS IT A OK TO LET A ALTER KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF THEM

Hello,
From a non did,,, is it ok to let a alter know that you are aware of them, or do you wait for them to acknowledge you?

you mean someone else's alter, not your own ? (cause you said as a non-DID) - that's tricky, it depends on the person. if it was me, i would have wanted to know about all my alters, (and then would have denied it like crazy im sure lol) i think its going to differ depending on the person...

You might scare them, if you let them know that, so soon. I would say it's okay to treat them a little differently (i.e. talk in a sweet voice, to a child alter), but I wouldn't tell them that you know they have DID, until you think they would be comfortable with it. You and her haven't even really discussed that she might have DID, right? Take it slow, unless you really need to let them know.

You can acknowledge them and make friends with them without ever letting on that you know they are an alter. I think it is appropriate to greet the alter each time she (?) comes out, as if they have just arrived for a visit. You might ask if this alter has a name they would like you to use. Then use it. This will help you maintain continuity from one visit to the next, help you remember what you talked about previously. You can gradually begin to ask them questions. First, social questions like How are you? How have you been? Then What have you been up to? When you leave here where do you go? Then gradually find out who else this alter knows. Is she aware of the host? Is the host aware of her? Is she aware of other alters?

Una+ wrote:You might ask if this alter has a name they would like you to use.

That's not going to make them suspect you know they're an alter?

canolime wrote:

Una+ wrote:You might ask if this alter has a name they would like you to use.

That's not going to make them suspect you know they're an alter?

Maybe, maybe not. But it is so useful, I would risk it and ask.

Okay. I just think you should tread carefully, and see how the person feels about discussing DID with you, first. Some systems are very secretive, and it could really freak someone out, if someone outside of their system suddenly seems to know they have DID.

There is a huge difference between recognizing an alter as a distinct identity, and talking about DID. Many alters are not aware they are alters, at least at first. Many are starved for love and attention.

I don't know about that, Una. I know personally, that if a friend I hadn't told about the DID came up and asked my name and let on that they knew I wasn't Katherine? We'd flip out and have a panic attack.

I personally would be as nice to possible to all of them. If they do something unexpected, don't be surprised or scared. Make sure they know that you're there for them. Don't always act; sometimes, just react to what they're doing and go from there. Treat them like who they are, like Canolime said. But I wouldn't acknowledge them unless they start dropping hints that they're not the host.
~Rage

Demon Lilith wrote:I don't know about that, Una. I know personally, that if a friend I hadn't told about the DID came up and asked my name and let on that they knew I wasn't Katherine? We'd flip out and have a panic attack.

I personally would be as nice to possible to all of them. If they do something unexpected, don't be surprised or scared. Make sure they know that you're there for them. Don't always act; sometimes, just react to what they're doing and go from there. Treat them like who they are, like Canolime said. But I wouldn't acknowledge them unless they start dropping hints that they're not the host.
~Rage

you said dropping hints.... do you have any examples that i can be on look out for.. I dont want to read into it thanks