Random thought thread

On most forums I know there is a thread for discussion that doesn't go under any topic or doesn't require a new thread. We could try if it works here, and if it doesn't, then we don't need one.

Today I felt like I'm in pieces after a tough week at work. It's like two currents of impulses are colliding in my consciousness. One comes from outside and the other comes from inside of me, like riptide kind of thing. People around disturb me, and from the inside I'm flooded with all sorts of needs, impulses and attitudes.

I'm glad it's Friday.
How was your day?

Crappy! But I am making it better. Going on this forum helps. I called a friend, and that took away from that feeling of needing to call my T. I am going to relax and make myself a good substantial, healthy meal that ISN'T my normal binge I go on when I get like this. Gonna sit on the couch, watch some t.v., and step aside from the stress and the memories.

Moving on

My T caught me on time loss today. Better said, I was aware of and disturbed by him catching me. Confusing day with lots of deep down denial, tough internal struggles and too much facts in my face. I feel like I'm getting somewhere though, just cant really handle feeling the deep down stuff like this. I hope your day was better, all. Nice thread, I like the idea.

I had a good day at work today after a bunch of hard ones. I've been losing time at work which concerns us. I know at work it tends to be either me or Owly, or me with Owly. Occasionally S3 will come out. Owly and I are almost always constant as far as memory goes. We're kind of like Siamese twins at this point although sometimes there is memory loss between both of us. Considering that both of us know how to do our job, I doubt that she is coming out while I'm working and doing things. Considering what's been happening, I think that one of the kids (or even one of the teens) has been coming out and hasn't been sure to do, so just has been doing whatever they can think of.

Exhausted. I am always exhausted. Ate corn (intolerant to) and it makes it worse. Trying to think of ways to step back more and let those inside come forward to communicate. Daughter and myself getting ready for surgery and daughter in law just had hysterectomy yesterday. Have to go around with my cheerleader daughter for the next few hours for a fund raiser. Did I mention I am exhausted?

..........tired.........I work and then ride my bike home...don't actually get tired until I reach the driveway....lol I get really random spurts of energy from nowhere. Had a weird occurrence at work, though, which I am about to post about.

(This is Katie I don't know who is writing this with me, maybe Emily, please bear with me.)

I'm completely numb for the most part today. My uncle came by (after about 2-3 weeks of their absence) to pick up their stuff to move. I feel so violated by them. They lied to my family and have stolen many things, ranging from money, our personal possessions, valuable time to self-esteem. They've wrecked our family, broken everyone up into two groups. The safe family, and the manipulative family. We can't be family with the manipulative family.. So seeing him again without him even saying a word to us was upsetting. Our baby brother was calling out to him from the garage door into the garage saying things like "excuse me! excuse me! hi!! hello!!" and he didn't even look at him. I can understand holding a grudge against us for not allowing him to continue being the way him and his son were being, but don't take that out on a four year old!! How petty!

We as a whole feel so sad because of the separating we've all done from everyone else. Our closest family members have always been the most abusive, but it still hurts to know they can abandon us because WE are the ones sick of being treated this way. We did nothing wrong, we just put our foot down for being verbally and emotionally violated and reliving our past traumas through all that. But that makes us the bad guys . Sad.. but better off I guess, right? It's time to move on .

Hi Katie....

I am speechless. You have been going through so much!

I hope things get better for you in the very near future!

Thank you she says thanks also I am the one who was talking too.. I'm so mad and hurt but it'll be ok eventually Saimi says I don't have to worry anymore about them since theyre gone now. I just wanted to get some of that out!! Thanks!

This is the place to get things like that out!!!!

I hope you have a smile on your face tonight and all of you can relax!

Is God new?