Colored today...

Well, I thought coloring would help...

And I guess it sort of did. But I lost time. It wasn't a lot of time, thank goodness, but I had been sort of hoping for better communication, not full on 'letting out'.

I can't sleep. This is the second day this month where I'm up early as poop. So, seeing as I was struck with the image of coloring again, I decided to color at one thirty in the morning. Started out fine. I realized I was picking some really odd colors for the picture. Then, I let my own mind wander to give Eve some time with the book. I tried to ask questions and tell her the date (figured this might help), but she didn't want to respond, so I figured I would give her a little time to just color and be a kid. Well, I thought it was only twenty minutes when I came to, so I (I didn't look up at the clock) decided to look through my old journal to flag some pages for my new T when I see her. I know it only took less than fifteen minutes to look through my journal, and my head was pretty quiet at this point. I had already known which pages to flag; it made it less time consuming.

So when I looked up and saw that it was almost four in the morning, I almost hit the floor! No way did it take almost three hours to barely color one page and flag less than ten small pages from a barely written in journal! And I'm darn sure I didn't fall asleep. I think I remember the colors chosen for the drawing, but then again...

This is mainly a rant, so I don't expect any advise or anything. I'm just a little confused, angry, depressed, and tired; and now I get to go through a work day, then deal with a psychologist I don't particularly like, and school immediately afterward. -sigh-

Time for my morning shower....

I have a lot of trouble with losing time at night. It was especially frustrating for me in the beginning. If you want to talk about it (even if it's just to rant about how tired you end up being or anything else) then please feel free. You've got a sympathetic ear here.

You could try something like this. Find time during the day for your little one to color. Let her know its best for her and you and most of all the body you all live in to get a good solid 8 hours of sleep! Try reading her a bedtime story at night and tucking her in.

When I can't sleep I listen to one of my relaxation tapes. That usually works. Other times someone tears the ear phones out of my ears and can't stand laying down anymore. In cases like that I have to find out what is wrong and fix it! Usually the magic powers I give them help and it does not happen again.

If I have to get out of bed in the morning before at least one of my alters gets some "me' time I can barely function the rest of the day, until I go and spend that lost time with them. It's hard because I have to go to bed early and get up late to do this! When you work on a schedule that would be very difficult.


When I don't get the time I need with them... I am an emotional mess! All I feel like doing is ranting! I can't concentrate.

So... you have a sympathetic ear here!

Thanks guys.

I managed to get through the day, though I crashed on my couch for a few hours before waking to finish some online classes. I don't know how I managed to make it through campus class though! XD I only remember taking a test, then being at my psychiatrists office, so hopefully someone was stepping in to help me.

I am absolutely, utterly exhausted. I'm hoping that, when those books get here tomorrow, I'll be able to figure out a few more coping techniques that may help at least Eve better communicate without hijacking control. I know it won't be an over-night-fixer, but at least it'll give me something to start on instead of scrambling along, feeling like a boat drifting further out to sea....