My DDNOS post..

At first...

Postby Thrace821219 » Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:47 am
I posted in the DID forum but as I am reading here this seems to fit more...I am in some sort of in-between stage...not sure where it belongs so it's hard. I am quite dissociative but in a different way...and I have many fragments of self but I do not lose huge chunks of time unless chemicals are involved...though I do forget constantly, almost every day. I feel like I am just floating through life most of the time...I'm glad to find similar experiences here. This is a rough thing to pinpoint...I recently felt like I was being made aware of an alter...the number 12 resounded in a dream like state...but so far it's just a lot of confusion. Hope to get to know you all. ********* I wanted to re-post here because I found that this is the active forum. I hope I am welcome even though my state is still foggy and not as known as some of yours. Thank-you for posting, reading your posts give me comfort. :/ -Thrace P.S-Now every time I think of the number 12 I get a resounding voive in my head...deep, loud. 12, 12, 12, 12........not sure what this is or why...

Maybe it refers to an alter's age, or something that happened when you were 12.

Hi Thrace,

I am foggy and am willing to bet that most here are foggy too! This is not a cut and dried thing.

I see almost no difference between DID-like DDNOS and DID since the big issues is time, but maybe many loose time but do not notice. The treatment I believe is the same for both. I usually write it like DID/DDNOS.

When the DSM is updated it will help clarify things. For now, but think about the D's as labels. It's fascinating to figure out where you fit, but in the end it does not really matter as long as you are getting help.

For me and many others though we can't move on until we know our labels. We are all different.

Welcome to the Group!

I was thinking age...12....but it feels like a name. 0_o Odd, but still working on it. Thanks for the replies and support!

12 could be a name. Remember you as a small child made these names, they don't have to make sense.. they just are what they are.

Yeah I totally understand that...there was another...Kat...but the problem is that because I am constantly going in a denial state...I feel like when these come up I am invalidating them...kind of like...no I just "made that name up..." out of nowhere, even though it popped in my head....(severely) without any conscious prompting from me. Haha, but I am working on the denial/acceptance.

Thrace821219 wrote:Yeah I totally understand that...there was another...Kat...but the problem is that because I am constantly going in a denial state...I feel like when these come up I am invalidating them...kind of like...no I just "made that name up..." out of nowhere, even though it popped in my head....(severely) without any conscious prompting from me. Haha, but I am working on the denial/acceptance.

Yes! I know what you mean. They pop up when you are not expecting. It's not like you can ask nicely ... tell me what you look like and get an image! No... they have to throw it up when you are totally unaware, yet while they are there!

When it happens... try your very best to pay attention. And to remember exactly what you saw or heard, and then record it in a journal.

I am still in shock at one image from last night. I have had this teen girl visiting lately and she showed me her image. Beautiful young woman, who looked bright and clean, but I swear I saw her munching on a half eaten arm! Talk about denial. I got out of bed and could not sleep! I know what I saw, but I sure did not want to see that! I had been telling them all they could show me their image, I can handle anything, and I can, but it is a shock!

Oh my! An arm?? Well, a new alter is a new alter, haha, and they have their reasons right?? You are strong, I'm not sure how I would handle that image, you seem to be doing it with considerable grace. I know of one who has yet to have a name...but oh boy do I know she is there, and what she looks like. All I know for sure is she is sociopathic-like...and/or vampire like...and she has black hair and crystal blue eyes. (Am I really saying this?!?!) is what is going through my mind. :/ SIgh,

Thrace821219 wrote:Oh my! An arm?? Well, a new alter is a new alter, haha, and they have their reasons right?? You are strong, I'm not sure how I would handle that image, you seem to be doing it with considerable grace. I know of one who has yet to have a name...but oh boy do I know she is there, and what she looks like. All I know for sure is she is sociopathic-like...and/or vampire like...and she has black hair and crystal blue eyes. (Am I really saying this?!?!) is what is going through my mind. :/ SIgh,

I think so! I am not positive, but I think that is the denial kicking in. I think I am positive but don't want to be! I know I was abused in many ways and from the time I was born basically and by both parents. I did not expect everyone to be warm and cuddly.

Right or wrong, I learned to give all mine temporary names that describe something good about them. It helps me, my T, husband and kids keep them all straight. So my husband named blossom since I described her as all sweet yesterday. I told him today what I seen last night and he tried to find ways that blossom still fits. It was cute!

I am thinking vampire too, but never seen her teeth. She ALWAYS covers her teeth with her lips. I would call yours blue eyes or something and let her know that is just her name until she gives me one. Often alters were never given a name! My Baby Smirk was the happiest baby on the planet to finally have a name! He was giddy with joy! It's an odd name, but he always smirks. like this.

So.... denial! I think we all have it when it comes to this! It's just so fantastical that its hard for us to believe even when we know its true!

I have tried to think of something temporary to call her since I haven't been given a name...but every time I do I feel an angry burst of energy within me, very much like an objection. Almost as if she refuses to be called anything other than what she is...and if she has a name she doesn't want to give it up yet. Hmm. I wonder if the fact that Blossom..(that's her right??) has her teeth coverred has anything to do with them being a secret weapon. Almost as if the teeth are for your protection rather than an open weapon. The difference between protecting versus being outright antagonizing..?? Just a thought, I could be wrong it's just what popped in my head when you said that.