Leaving the board

I wasn't going to post for a while, however...

Despite a lot of attacking (it seems)toward Una, Una helped me. I will admit, I don't read most of the articles, but that's because I cannot for the life of me read the technical jargon. I'll try, because it's interesting, but I have no idea what it's saying. Still, she replies often to my posts, even the hysterical ones, and I don't feel alone when I get on the board. I don't mind the links to articles; I simply skip them or I'll google them for a less jargony article. The label issue is kind of confusing; I've read elsewhere that people use these labels, even on youtube in like the 90's. I don't think Una created them, and I don't see a post where she condemned people for not using them. However, I haven't been here very long.

I must say, the post everyone is complaining about did confuse me, but that could be the way you wrote it, Una. I thought perhaps I was posting too much, complaining to much, and suddenly had to stop writing on the forum. I am a bit destabilized right now and, yes, I'm clinging to this board, but that's because I have no where else to go until my new therapist can fit me into her schedule. I'm tired of dealing with crap on my own, wondering if what I'm experiencing is normal or abnormal or if there is anyway to deal until I can get to a good T. I'm trying to stay stabilized enough so my husband doesn't take me to the hospital. When I read the post about someone being up to late...I kind of got discouraged and upset because that was when I needed the support the most, and thank goodness someone responded. So now, I'm extremely confused on when I can post, what I can post, and....ugh. I've also considered leaving the board, but only because I'm not sure what is right and wrong now. Does writing very late/early while 'triggering' make me bad and unworthy of help? It probably wasn't meant that way, but that was how I took it.

I hope this gets cleared up quickly and the forum goes back to the way it was. Even though I'm going to restrict my posts now and try not to cling so much, I do rather enjoy the diversity of people on this board, especially when they are all talking together. It's like the close family I never had.

Lots of other support groups already operate on the "personal experience only" model. I like that this one is different.

-- Sat Jul 30, 2011 1:55 pm --

LinaeveWorkman wrote:I must say, the post everyone is complaining about did confuse me, but that could be the way you wrote it, Una. I thought perhaps I was posting too much, complaining to much, and suddenly had to stop writing on the forum.

Not at all.

When we get triggered one normal reaction is to try to control our environment. For example, some posters want to control what I post and where I post it.

Sometimes it is better to adjust how we interact with the environment. For example, to read threads with caution. And to not personalize what we read.

agreed! I have been much more of a selective lurker then really trying to post because I feel like our posts get lost in the shuffle and go un supported. I have been looking for a better forum but still nothing I like.

I thought I was the only one upset about the ANP EP stuff... never heard that before this forum and not anywhere else since.

But we do need to keep in mind that everyone is different and needs different things to heal. Some like the articles and stuff.... and others need more peer support instead. We just need to be respectful of each other and realize we can not fix each other and we shouldn't try. I feel like we all need to be more proactive in asking for what we need. if we need support then ask for that... if we want an article or want to talk philosophy[hy then ask for that.... and then only give what is asked for... simple as that. and if you feel that someone might need something else ask them first dont just assume and dump what you think they need on them. That is rude and insulting and frankly can be re-traumatizing.

I think we should be careful about bashing people as well..... if you talk about wanting this group to be more supportive and then Bash one of the top posters for their method of communication and interaction that is called hypocrisy and no one wants to be a Hippo.. they eat people!! lol

keep it friendly, keep it supportive, keep it sane

Una+ wrote:Not at all.

When we get triggered one normal reaction is to try to control our environment. For example, some posters want to control what I post and where I post it.

Sometimes it is better to adjust how we interact with the environment. For example, to read threads with caution. And to not personalize what we read.

Then I apologize. I figured I took it wrong; when I trigger, it's like I'm a little kid again, telling myself that everything is my fault. It's either angry me that comes out and jumps down someone's throat or shame me that suddenly pulls away with no warning, never to be seen or heard from again. I've been trying to get a semblance of control of both, so I post now saying those things to try to keep myself from pulling away or suddenly getting angry for no reason. Hope that makes sense.

I think we should be careful about bashing people as well..... if you talk about wanting this group to be more supportive and then Bash one of the top posters for their method of communication and interaction that is called hypocrisy and no one wants to be a Hippo.. they eat people!! lol

keep it friendly, keep it supportive, keep it sane

Couldn't have thought or written it better.

LinaeveWorkman - You may post as much as you want, at any time you want or need to. A lot of people post late at night or early in the morning, and that's certainly okay. And you don't have to worry about what's right or wrong, or about complaining. Feel free to talk about anything you need to... even if you just need to rant

No, Una can definitely have some good advice. And she seems very supportive. I just find she has better advice when not simply posting a link on a thread where people wanted support. Again, I'm not trying to bash, I'm really not. I'm just trying to point out something that seems to have made several people feel uncomfortable.

The thing is, it's not so easy to avoid when it's everywhere. When I see a thread about all the ANP stuff, I avoid it. But now that it's popping up everywhere, it's very hard to avoid and honestly makes us feel like outliers, like I have to be either an ANP or an EP or I'm not a true alter. That may not be the purpose, but that is the result for many people.
If we're told to just adjust our own thinking, the easiest thing to do is just stop going someplace. If it no longer feels safe, instinct is to leave.

I just think if it was more isolated, people could chose whether or not they want to see it.

~RAGE

I don't get it. This is an open forum where you are not forced to read certain threads. You can read those you want and ignore the others. Since when is information and knowledge bad!

Labels and knowledge is a way for you to better understand DID and heal.

There is no place in life that staying deaf, blind and dumb is a good thing, but nothing here is a classroom lecture.

Read what you want and ignore what you don't. I can't imagine that everyone reads every single word on the group and you certainly do not have to go and read the information on every link.

It's not a way to separate the intelligent from the non-intelligent. It's a choice. This is America and we are not trapped and abused children. We have a choice to read information or not. We don't have to be censored.

Next are we going to start moving and deleting things and reading all the private PM's.

I understand there are all sorts of personalities here, but I am saddened when a moderator even slightly joins the lynch mob. There is nothing wrong with public information! It's not like there is some cult going on here trying to brain wash everyone into some fanatic beliefs or something.

It's simply real research and science and truth!

Why do you all fear the truth so much?

im glad it wasn't just me over reacting... programming is hard to beat sometimes...

Una i appologise for coming off as if i am attacking you personally, i'm not... While i don't like the thousands of links, i know you didn't create the theory of Structural Dissociation... (man, if i met that guy i think i'd have a few choice words though lol)... you're right that everyone does need to try to NOT personalize what is written in the links etc, its hard sometimes when it feels like we're being TOLD that we HAVE to have these things to be DID...then questioned if we dont meet the criteria.. i dont know, i'm probably over reacting and i know none of this is YOUR personal work so i want to make it clear that i'm not attacking you personally for that. i dont like being told i have to be something and that i am being triggered by that stuff... its possible i am, but i dont like being told i am... if that makes sense..

When we get triggered one normal reaction is to try to control our environment. For example, some posters want to control what I post and where I post it.

I'm not trying to control What you post, i am trying to control what i read... its hard to read threads 'with caution" when every thread you reply to contains a post...Also, i dont like being told i'm triggered by this stuff- its just plain annoying really... plus i'd like to think that even if i am triggered, i can still come here and be 'safe'...i think the sticky will help with that...

Sorry if it sounds like i'm attacking you Personally, i dont mean to be on the attack...i'm just struggling to identify my needs and stand up for myself...

Why do you all fear the truth so much?

Ty;as, 1 or 2 peoples truths are not neccasarily everyones truths... its beginning to feel (to me) like this whole ANP/ EP thing is becoming like a religion that is being pushed and pushed and pushed onto everything in this forum!! Yes it is a place of free speach and i am standing up for my right not to have to be faced with this and other atricles everywhere i read.. i have ignored them, time and time again, but when someone asks for help and their thread turns into a discussion on something totaly different how is that helpful??

PMS are not only for private things, they are for things that dont necessarily need to be continued talking about in a thread! They dont have to be 'private' but they are between 2 (or more) people about a topic that not everyone else wants to know about...

sorry i'm getting defensive again i will shut up and go back to my cave...

No one has to feel that they HAVE to learn new things or be a certain way. Are you all stressed by not knowing if you have an ANP? Oh my! It's a term! Don't sweat it! Even if you do have them, it's not like its easy to know! I find it helpful to understand me, that does not mean you all have to, but I do like to share new knowledge. You DONT have to read my posts or links or anything else. It's a choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not shoved down your throats!

This is America! We are free! We can learn what we want and not learn if we want. There is NO pressure here to do anything.

Some of us however enjoy learning as much as we can. This is how we heal.

Everyone has a CHOICE to heal how they feel is best for them.

I have never seen a bad word here to anyone until this new person (troll) joined. Don't let her/him disturb you.

ANP? and EP?
We are not the only ones still learning about this! Researchers and T's are as well. Many T's don't even believe in DID. Do you really want to go back to the stone ages and be treated with old psychology or do you want people to learn about the brain and acknowledge you for who you are and find new information to help you heal? It does not mean that YOU have to learn it!

Demon Lilith wrote:No, Una can definitely have some good advice. And she seems very supportive. I just find she has better advice when not simply posting a link on a thread where people wanted support. Again, I'm not trying to bash, I'm really not. I'm just trying to point out something that seems to have made several people feel uncomfortable.

The thing is, it's not so easy to avoid when it's everywhere. When I see a thread about all the ANP stuff, I avoid it. But now that it's popping up everywhere, it's very hard to avoid and honestly makes us feel like outliers, like I have to be either an ANP or an EP or I'm not a true alter. That may not be the purpose, but that is the result for many people.
If we're told to just adjust our own thinking, the easiest thing to do is just stop going someplace. If it no longer feels safe, instinct is to leave.

I just think if it was more isolated, people could chose whether or not they want to see it.

~RAGE

Do you feel you have to take all advise. Just because someone gives you a pat on the back and says something, does that mean you agree with it? Why is that better advise than a link? You don't have to read either or agree with either. ANP and EP are simply alters. There are a lot of other tags that you all accept for alters: protectors, gatekeepers, etc... and you don't freak out. What is so horrible about ANP and EP. Do you freak out if you don't have a protector or a gatekeeper? Does this make it so you don't have DID or do you just understand that you have more exploring to do to understand your system?

I see protector popping up everywhere, but I have not met one in my system. Should I freak out and ban all talk about protectors?

I really enjoy all of you here. New things are hard for all of us.