Question: What exactly do you hear, see and feel?

In T yesterday we were talking and my T was waiting for my alters to all introduce themselves, but a new one seems to pop in every few days, so that is not going to work, and she thinks they must first talk to me before they will talk to her. When I told her how others in online groups had answered this question she began to rethink her position.

Question 1 - Inner Communication
So my discussion with her is this: I think that those inside don't know how to talk to ME when they are still inside. They desperately seem to want to. Instead it's like 20 questions and they respond with frowns, smiles, happy, fear, etc...

Next session we will try the hypnosis again to see if that helps.

Question 2 - Outer Communication - Last time in T a little terrified one came out with PTSD, and she convulsed and was so scared she did not talk at all, but I think when mine are out they can and will after they learn to calm and trust. I have a few that don't have PTSD however that should be able to speak externally now.

-I asked this elsewhere and almost everyone answered the same as I.

Question 3 - See and Hear If the host sees their inner one's it is as a still image that does not change. I have read some actually see a whole 3D world in their head, but no one in the groups reported this.

Question 4 - If the host hears the alters it's more like conversations going on between others. Or intruding thoughts that seem to come from someone else.

Question 4 - Feel - Inside = Most reported that they "feel" the presence of the inner ones.
[That is what I get. Most have different facial expressions that they put on MY face in-between the frowns, they all frown and have a degree of fear so far. Even when its just a frown I can tell by how far one frowns who they are. For example - my fighter Boyka (teen girl) has a HUGE frown and my face feel so stretched out! or like Baby Smirks - he .. well - smirks, Stephen actually can smile and frown at the same time. They all have their own unique way of presenting themselves to me.

Outside = When someone is around to interact with however they take over the body and get carried away. They really interact, but still are afraid to talk.]

My friend has the 3D world that you speak of. He also sees his alters plain as day too.
With me it's not so fancy! I see HIM sometimes in the form of shadows though.

kazine wrote:My friend has the 3D world that you speak of. He also sees his alters plain as day too.
With me it's not so fancy! I see HIM sometimes in the form of shadows though.

Can you describe what you do see and hear and feel please?

kazine wrote:My friend has the 3D world that you speak of. He also sees his alters plain as day too.
With me it's not so fancy! I see HIM sometimes in the form of shadows though.

Internally I hear their thoughts. Sometimes they're louder than thoughts (like when HIM laughs at me) but sometimes they're really quiet or its just like a buzzing in the background.

They switch out in a way of 'I turn into them'. Not sure if it's a cohosting or coconsciousness or something, don't know. Some of them either don't or can't talk. Some of them are scared, Little Sophie in particular.

I see HIM in the way I mentioned above and I get a general outline of what they look like, hair colour, height. Don't see their faces though.

I also get the intruding thoughts. If fact I've had a lot of problems with it. Thoughts that I knew weren't mind but at the time I did not have another explanation for. Like I wanted a sex change (blame Aaron for that now) wanted a baby desperately, and other things.

I can feel their presence when they're out. that's about it I can't feel them in my head although then again I'm not sure I remember what it feels like when I didn't know they were there.

Hope this helps (:

tylas wrote:I think that those inside don't know how to talk to ME when they are still inside. They desperately seem to want to. Instead it's like 20 questions and they respond with frowns, smiles, happy, fear, etc...

This has been my experience, for the most part. Communication inside, especially with my Alter 1, is exactly like playing a combination of 20 Questions and Charades. This works also when Alter 1 is co-conscious with me, which happens most often while I am participating in online support groups like this one. As I read something, I experience intense `made' emotions from Alter 1 that color what I am reading, as if Alter 1 is animating the personalities (the writer's self, and the person or persons the writer is writing about). It is as if, through Alter 1, I perceive other people's actual emotions. Shockingly often, Alter 1's emotional coloring turns out to be accurate.

Wikipedia: Twenty Questions
Wikipedia: Charades

tylas wrote:Last time in T a little terrified one came out with PTSD, and she convulsed and was so scared she did not talk at all

She came out in the midst of a trauma flashback. This is common, especially for fragments. They are trapped in time, often in a moment of trauma. They are literally in Hell, and their despair and/or desperation to escape reflects their awareness of it. Coming out like this is their moment of escape from Hell, and if you know to expect them you can catch them and free them forever.

tylas wrote:If the host sees their inner one's it is as a still image that does not change. I have read some actually see a whole 3D world in their head, but no one in the groups reported this.

My inner world at present is a dark void. I expect that will change. The only insider I have seen is Teen Girl. When she was pushed forward to meet me she appeared in 3D, animated, and wore a knee-length, short sleeved nightshirt.

tylas wrote:If the host hears the alters it's more like conversations going on between others. Or intruding thoughts that seem to come from someone else.

It is more varied in my system. Rarely I overhear conversations between insiders, or they speak directly to me. I also experience intrusive `made' thoughts but by far the most common communication is `made' emotions. Now and then I say or do something that in the moment seem like my own impulse but moments later I disavow it. For example, I told my T about how during the week before over and over again I had the intrusive thought "I love him" (Alter 1 is in love with a man I hardly know). My T asked "who loves him?" and I replied "I do." But I don't think I do. I did not feel possessed by Alter 1; this seems to have been a moment of blending with Alter 1. This is where having DID gets very confusing.

Yes, this is what I need to know. So far you are both the same as me! This will help me and hopefully all of you to understand how we are the same.

Communication is my goal for this week. One more question to add to this. For those of you who go to therapy, has your T got your inner ones to speak by using hypnosis?

Una - How do we safe those that appear while during a trauma.

tylas wrote:has your T got your inner ones to speak by using hypnosis?

My therapist uses hypnosis but says I am making such rapid progress on my own that hypnosis isn't needed. She feels it is better, more natural, in this case to work without hypnosis. Also, I doubt hypnosis would work for me because I am such a control freak.

tylas wrote:Una - How do we safe those that appear while during a trauma.

Speak to them, hold them (unless that makes it worse), magically take them out of the place where they are, and most importantly radiate feelings of compassion and joy and relief and welcome. Remember your emotions and your affect when you would comfort a baby who is upset: you share in their upset while at the same time you share that it will be okay, it isn't so bad, whatever the situation warrants.

A leading authority on this use of empathetic attunement is Daniel Stern. All his work is astonishing and relevant here but I got the most from his book The Interpersonal World of the Infant.

Wikipedia: Daniel Stern (psychologist)
Wikipedia: The Interpersonal World of the Infant

Una+ wrote:A leading authority on this use of empathetic attunement is Daniel Stern. All his work is astonishing and relevant here but I got the most from his book The Interpersonal World of the Infant.

Wikipedia: Daniel Stern (psychologist)
Wikipedia: The Interpersonal World of the Infant

Awesome! That is the stuff I already do. They light up when I give them attention and tell them I love them. I just put that book on my to read list!

I too move quite fast according to my T, but I would like to talk to everyone and I don't feel that I move fast enough. I can easily handle more! As I read in E. Howells book, we are all so good at dissociation we are partially in a hypnosis state without even having to go there. I know last time she tried it was only a split second before one showed up. I don't need the hypnosis per say, maybe they just need someone's undivided attention. Does that make sense?

Inner communication:
I feel my alters more than I hear them, although I do hear them at times. For some reason, their thoughts pop in my head often when I write (usually in response to something I'm writing) and I'll usually try to write their thoughts down too. I find that it's much easier for me to attain information from my alters by writing out questions and letting them respond that way versus asking in my head. Usually asking in my head garners nothing but silence.

If I'm in front, it's much harder for me to communicate with my alters. If I'm in the background, and an alter is out front, it's easier for me to communicate with them - not sure why this is. When they are out front, I can ask them questions and hear their responses. Also, I often encourage them to journal (particularly if something is bothering them) and as they're writing, I'll ask them questions in our mind, and they will write their answer down on paper.

In general, if there's something someone doesn't like (for example loud noises like helicopters for one particular alter), they will shout in my head, "I don't like this!" Also if I turn on music, sometimes I'll get something like, "Turn this sh#t off!" and I then let them pick the music they want to listen to.

Outer communication:
My alters come out most often during therapy, sometimes with my SO, and sometimes when I'm alone. Sometimes around family and other triggering situations, but no one knows it's not "me." I think my alters feel safe with my T. I have met some of them for the first time in our therapy sessions, I'm guessing because that was the first time they felt safe to come out.

See and Hear:
I don't see much. My mind is a big, dark space. One of my alters drew herself for me. Another one sent me a visual image. Also, sometimes when another alter is out, I can see images that the part is visualizing. Sometimes they are quite horrific. But mostly I don't get visuals, I just get feelings. As far as hearing goes... I don't really hear conversations between alters. Sometimes I'll hear shouting in my head, and sometimes I'll talk back and forth to myself in my head, but I don't know if that's communication "between" alters. Also, when R is merged or blended with me (which has been happening lately) I hear her thoughts as though they are my own. They are very angry thoughts. Then as far as intrusive thoughts go, yes. Although much of this was due to an introject. I would get a barrage of angry, abusive thoughts directed at me. Thanks to Una's help, I was able to "kick out" this introject (it was so much easier than I thought!) and those intrusive thoughts have stopped. As far as other random thoughts go, see above under "internal communication."

Feel:
Yes. Okay. Where do I start. Sometimes my alters flood me with their feelings: anger, rage, anxiety, panic, etc. Sometimes I feel certain body sensations and I can tell if a particular alter is close. [For example, I'm learning with alter R that whenever my "insides are hurting", she is close.] When my brow is deeply furrowed and arms crossed tightly across my body, I'm pretty certain it's Coraline (who called herself "BAD" before). When a baby alter overtook me, I felt an overwhelming "collapsing in" sensation. Very hard to describe. When my teenager Jamie took over during therapy, I noticed that all tightness and tension in my body seemed to disappear. (It was nice!)

I am so glad Coraline has a name besides BAD now! yeah!

Again, we seem much alike. I am going to work harder on journalism. Although I write down everything new that happens, I have not got them to. Maybe I am not listening to them. Any hints on this? I have tried the left hand and write all the time while they are with me, but the writing is as blank as their talking for me.