Alters talk in song?

I've been thinking lately that a lot of song lyrics run through my head. I know this is normal sometimes (songs DO get stuck in my head quite often) but sometimes it's just snatches of lyrics that have meaning, or are attached to feelings....if that doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll elaborate.

Any who, I decided to try to sit down tonight, since insomnia is keeping me awake now. Too much in one day. I figured I'd allow some of the angry buzzing an outlet, and snatched up a random notebook and a black, gel pen (for some reason, only this pen felt it would do).

So I sat and listened to my Ipod, like I used to do when I was younger (except it was a CD player lol), and poised the pen over the paper. The first thing that was written, was an angry 'I hate this song!!'. It was Evil Angel, by Breaking Benjamin. I absolutely love this song and can listen to it for hours, but I've recently realized the lyrics remind me of DID (I put it on the other thread lol). So I asked a few questions, didn't get much of a response, and really just allowed my brain to wander. As I did, I switched through songs, and lyrics started pouring across the page. Just ones that pertain to either my questions or the situation at hand.

For example, 'I'm falling apart, I'll keep you alive if you show me the way.' It's Show me a sign, by BB...or Three days grace. One of them. Anyway, the random bits of lyrics sort of create a conversation, but I'm a little skeptical. 'Bad voice' popped up a few times and told me to Bugger Off! and I want nothing. in very scratchy writing, so I'm having trouble discerning what I may have written through song and what the insiders are actually saying. ......does this make sense, or am I over analyzing things?

I also got a very distinct 'stop messing with us!'. So I stopped asking real questions and just asked them to write if they wanted to. I got a whole nother page of writing. But that's because I stumbled on the dumbest song I could have chosen, Three days Grace 'Never too late'. This song ALWAYS triggers me and makes me cry and feel younger than hell....and now that I know why, I probably should have left it alone, but someone inside wanted to hear it. I specifically heard/wrote 'I love this song', and I even found someone made it play AGAIN without me realizing it, and when I asked 'this song again?' I got the written response '###$ yes.'. During the first playing of it, someone wrote very quickly and spastically 'This song is us. You know? Us! Think about it, it's us it's us it's us it's us! It's why you cry when you hear it it's because it's us can't you hear it can't you hear it?! I can't believe you can't hear it!' and then some very strong scratching on the paper.

Oh, and I also figured out I have a bully, and a young one. Someone asked me to draw a flower, and I got the impression she was young (I now know what you mean by age impression, btw). When I drew a flower, the scratchy handwriting scratched across it and stated 'this flower is DUMB', and I got the impression the other one was crying.

I also asked one final question before I stopped, because my head was pounding so hard and I was getting so dizzy. I asked how many people were writing (it looked like five different people were on the pages) and I got, almost before I could even finish asking in my head, three. Then 'Bad', who actually answered most of my questions even if he was being mean about it, stated 'you take forever to write our $#%^ down'. I asked him why his handwriting looks more like mine sometimes, and he stated 'we're the same thats why. Are you stupid or something?'. When I asked for a name, he said 'Song, song again!'. I'm starting to get the feeling he is very young, possibly younger than the girl herself. Ugh...writing that part made my head pound just once, fiercely. Do alters try to get back at you for writing some stuff by hurting your head? Or am I just hallucinating a little, going a little nuts after my discovery today?

I think I'm asking too many questions, but it's nighttime and that's when I'm at my most 'vulnerable'. I guess that's a good way to put it. I think a lot more at night, and feel more 'in touch' so to speak. It's easier to think, in a different way than normal, when it's early in the morning/late at night. I also think much faster. Anyone experience that also? Yeah...I think I'm hallucinating again....owwww. Stupid tylenol hasn't worked all day.

Oh, and apparently none of them like me swearing. I accidentally swore at them in my head when I got frustrated, and (when I asked if drawing a different flower made 'her' feel better) she said 'no, you swore.'. Then I felt her 'dissappear' into that back part of my mind.


Wow...I went wayyyy off topic. Sorry. Back on topic, do any of your other alters send you song lyrics or write in song lyrics that mean something to them?


Oh yeah, and I keep wanted to ask another question on here, but they keep taking it! Everytime I remember it, it leaks away. That's starting to really piss me off. It's an important question, and I can't ask it. Who decides what the ###$ I want to ask and not ask? I should, that's ######6 who!

I got two names. I don't know who they are, what they do, or anything like that, but I got two names. Eve and Brian. Brian just pushed me to put his name first, but I don't feel like hitting the delete button. I'm too aggravated and I feel childish...ugh.

I can't sleep. Is anyone else up?

I'm up. I don't know how much I can help. I hear a lot of song lyrics in my head. Some of my insiders communicate via song/have "theme songs." In fact, when I was first communicating with one insider, the only way to get her to come out and write was to play a particular song--she took her nickname from it. And with certain songs playing, it's easier for us to switch.

So it makes sense to us for all that to have happened. Sounds like you had an exhausting time with everyone trying to communicate, though!

I don't usually think faster, but it depends on who's out, I think. Some insiders are much more energetic than others.

Eisa wrote:I'm up. I don't know how much I can help. I hear a lot of song lyrics in my head. Some of my insiders communicate via song/have "theme songs." In fact, when I was first communicating with one insider, the only way to get her to come out and write was to play a particular song--she took her nickname from it. And with certain songs playing, it's easier for us to switch.

So it makes sense to us for all that to have happened. Sounds like you had an exhausting time with everyone trying to communicate, though!

I don't usually think faster, but it depends on who's out, I think. Some insiders are much more energetic than others.

First, I gotta say, I love your avatar. It brightened my mood considerably. I absolutely adore cats!

Theme songs! That's great! I guess maybe the one who loves 'Never too Late' might take that as their theme song lol. We heard it enough tonight, that's for sure.

I didn't really mean think faster, more like thoughts come unbidden faster than if I was distracted by ....say.... hubby or daughter or anything else daily life throws at me. Kind of like when you lay down in bed at the end of the day and it's nice and quiet...and THAT'S when your brain goes into overdrive with thoughts about tomorrow or worries or whatever. That could just be me, though, lol. I just assume everyone else does it too.

I adore cats as well. I really, really want a super-fluffy tuxedo cat. Sadly, my cat allergy disagrees with me.

We like "Never Too Late" as well--I didn't used to, but the video made it hit home pretty hard. And like our protector Dragonfly has Disturbed: "Indestructible" as her theme song, which fits rather well.

Ohhhh. Yes, that happens to me all the time. I can be exhausted, utterly drop-down-and-collapse-instantly exhausted...and I lie down and BAM everyone's thoughts flood my head. And for some reason, SOMEONE [-stares down Below at the 'dark' alters-] likes filling my head with thoughts of insects. I'm afraid of insects. So it's not very nice. Thankfully, dreamer [our internal protector/guardian angel] makes those thoughts go away.

Eisa wrote:Ohhhh. Yes, that happens to me all the time. I can be exhausted, utterly drop-down-and-collapse-instantly exhausted...and I lie down and BAM everyone's thoughts flood my head. And for some reason, SOMEONE [-stares down Below at the 'dark' alters-] likes filling my head with thoughts of insects. I'm afraid of insects. So it's not very nice. Thankfully, dreamer [our internal protector/guardian angel] makes those thoughts go away.

Omgoodness, I'm glad you mentioned this! I'll be lying in bed, all ho-hum and no thoughts will be wizzing by when....BAM! EXTREMELY SCARY face right behind my eyes! It'll be so vivid and absolutely terrifying, that I regularly wake up my husband with a little 'EEEP!' , lol! Or I'll see some other disturbing thing best left for horror movies, and I'm like...'really? Thanks for the nightmares, mind.'.

I have to force myself to think happy thoughts and literally feel like I'm 'stuffing' the random stuff down. It helps knowing that the constant chatter and mental madness is due in part from alters.

LinaeveWorkman wrote:

Eisa wrote:Ohhhh. Yes, that happens to me all the time. I can be exhausted, utterly drop-down-and-collapse-instantly exhausted...and I lie down and BAM everyone's thoughts flood my head. And for some reason, SOMEONE [-stares down Below at the 'dark' alters-] likes filling my head with thoughts of insects. I'm afraid of insects. So it's not very nice. Thankfully, dreamer [our internal protector/guardian angel] makes those thoughts go away.

Omgoodness, I'm glad you mentioned this! I'll be lying in bed, all ho-hum and no thoughts will be wizzing by when....BAM! EXTREMELY SCARY face right behind my eyes! It'll be so vivid and absolutely terrifying, that I regularly wake up my husband with a little 'EEEP!' , lol! Or I'll see some other disturbing thing best left for horror movies, and I'm like...'really? Thanks for the nightmares, mind.'.

I have to force myself to think happy thoughts and literally feel like I'm 'stuffing' the random stuff down. It helps knowing that the constant chatter and mental madness is due in part from alters.

I had that kind of scary face night show too when I was little. When I closed my eyes, they started to appear one after another very fast and it was scary, I couldn't stop them and they always grew very big before the next one came. I think it stopped at some point when I was already in school.

Oh dear. Okay, I have two collections of songs that are triggery.

1. Songs that now remind me of DID. Months ago, before I found out about the DID, a friend who has a knack for this pointed me to an old Peter Gabriel song. It broke me up. Then I started listening to a Country music station while driving. Some of the songs made me cry every time. I thought maybe I was crying about the unavailable man "I" (Alter 1) am infatuated with, except all are sung by men. I started writing down the titles. Here are a few, with links to YouTube:

Digging In The Dirt
Wish I Didn't Know Now (What I Didn't Know Then)
Who Are You When I'm Not Looking

2. Children's songs from the 70's. Many of them I don't remember ever hearing before but several are very familiar. CD's found at a thrift shop are loaded with retro songs that just tear me up. Yes, the emotional response is to isolated lines in the songs.

My efforts to communicate with insiders via handwritten journal didn't get far. All I got was "this is so stupid".

I absolutely believe songs can pertain to alters, or be a means of communication. My playlist gets changed and flooded and changed because there can never be a permanent decision ... the separate parts of me all like different types of music!! Sheesh, it gets tiring.

Oh my goodness. I can't even tell you how often this happens to me

Well, first off, each of my alters have separate tastes in music. Ally loves more gothic, industrial, punk music, whereas Milly likes happy pop music. So depending on what I may be listening to, each will come with their input about the song.

Amanda doesn't really have much of a taste for music, but a lot of the things Ally listens to scare her... Marilyn Manson in particular. His first two albums have a serious impact on Amanda, and she has some very extreme fears of some of the things mentioned in the lyrics or played in the songs. However, Ally LOVES it, and actually has gone so far as to punish Amanda by playing it... Amanda's also really scared of carnival music.

Each of them has kind of found what music they really identify with. What's really odd is that sometimes, I'll find drawings with lyrics from certain songs written along with them, or just lyrics written on random things by each of them.

And if I say something that upsets them, I get the same thing as you said- It kind of feels like they "punch me in the head", so to speak. I also communicate a lot better with them at night, because things are more calm since everyone's asleep and there's no outside noise.

I've started to wonder the same thing, only about lines to movies. When we were homeless my brother and I would recite the words to movies we liked, and we would play the different characters. We would usually get pretty far. Anyway, I am the only one I know who can do this with all kinds of movies. It wasn't until lately that I realized that all the movie lines I know actually pertain to my life in a really strange sort of way. It's like the small parts heard and repeated them over and over and over in my head because the words in the movies (or sometimes songs too) really connected to their(our) emotions. Played them over and over and over again like movies in my head that I could watch whenever I wanted I didn't even need a t.v. I still don't forget them.