I seem to understand better when I'm close to sleeping. I tried looking down there when I was in bed a day or so after that and Devon [who is a "soul guardian" and guards down Below and keeps them separate from up Above] was like NO you IDIOT you are NOT allowed down here at any cost!

The little girl's name is Lolita, but she goes by Lolly. She is young, but I don't know how young. She dresses a bit in sweet lolita fashion, I think, and has blonde ringlet curls, just like...trying to look like a sweet child, I think? But her eyes look dead.


The other alter's name is Karenina. I don't know how old she is. She has a trench coat and wears military-style clothes. She has tons of hair that changes color.
If I understood it right, I was NEVER supposed to know that Lolly existed--something happened [perhaps Freak waking up--we have a fragment named Freak who was sleeping in the tunnel that connects Above to Below--I'm sorry, I know that sounds confusing, but it's the best way I can describe it

I tried to find out more and Devon got mad at me again, oops. She impressed upon me more how Lolly needs to NEVER be let out because she wants to hurt people. Just for the joy of hurting people. D: It's how she gets her kicks. And I know when I was hearing that, I was being guarded by Devon and dreamer [who's a guardian angel and internal protector], and there was a shadowy...something. Off to one side. It didn't feel so great.

Does anyone else ever learn about alters in dreams? Can anyone else look into their internal world like that? Normally, I can't very well at all. It seems like the only time I can is when I'm close to going to sleep and then I can sort of look in there and see what's going on. It feels very weird.