existential crisis for child alter (or for all of us)

Sincere apologies for the length here. An extremely outgoing 11-year-old alter is devastated by losing decades of his life and now has no one to talk to but some older guys in the body. Internal-only communication seems iffy. I took him to Kentucky a few weeks ago so he could be with people who talk like him. (He probably learned the accent from kind neighbors who my parents called hillbillies.) Our interactions were limited in KY but it made a huge difference for a while.

We know a middle-aged man can't approach kids, Jack understands and wouldn't allow it even if I would. Sometimes I know he's around only because I look at kids playing, having fun, and he bursts out crying. As far as he remembers, just a few weeks ago he was doing the same thing. His pain is killing us. He's trying to cheer up but he knows how people respond to how he talks and his accent is strong: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03iwAY4KlIU

Yesterday I arranged for the roommate, an old friend, to take Jack hiking. Because we had some internal crisis for the first time, I was pulled deep inside (no memory of what happened there but was told it was "preparation") so he was mostly on his own with an adult. Our friend was as okay with him as a man who's rarely been around kids can be but a few hours later Jack started feeling useless and stupid and was in despair and I had to come back out.

He feels people used to like him and now nobody ever will because he's a kid in a man. I've watched him interact with people and he's a natural -- but he's a kid and hasn't been able to pull off more than a short conversation as an adult. I try to coach him inside but it messes him up and he can't be himself.

The growing crisis is two-fold:
1. Jack needs someone to talk to. I can only identify 1-2 friends who might possibly do that but they're middle-aged. He's so lonely we're dying inside. It's painful to focus at work, everything seems meaningless except helping him. The T hasn't offered any suggestions but we'll press for nothing else from now on.
2. Jack has been saying things like he knows he's not real, he's made-up, imaginary. He knows how, when and why he came. I tell him that's not true because he can take charge of the body and he feels like the most genuine part of us. He could end up becoming the host, if only we can figure out a way for him to age or pass as an adult. I would quit academia in a second and go pitch manure in Kentucky if I thought we could survive. Jack took the father's abuse. He preserved our masculinity by doing the boy things we couldn't. We owe him everything.

Unfortunately I have similar thoughts about myself being entirely a fiction though it's not depersonalization. Most of what I based my self-definition on is bogus. My career is a response to a childhood fear that's dissolving. Cardinal events of my life never happened the way I remembered. My parents were not nice cultivated people but in fact often monsters. And it turns out that I'm not even gay.

Here are some things I've considered:
1. I'm letting my current roommate/old friend live here free for another year so that I'm not living alone. I could bring in an additional roommate for cheap/free who has DID or who'd be helpful in talking to Jack.
2. Locate and pay a psych grad student or clinician-in-training an hourly fee to talk to Jack. They would gain direct exposure to DID. It feels phoney and would be brief but Jack says he doesn't care.
3. Pack up and move to Kentucky and hope for the best.
4. Pack up and move back to Midwestern home town, stay with relatives, divulge DID and hope they'll talk to Jack.
5. Try to age Little John nearer Jack's age.
6. Try to age Jack to adult.
7. Spend most of my non-work time with him out talking to us. It's a weak stop-gap as those who can listen are adults and conversations outside-inside are splotchy.

#3 & #4 mean losing job, income, therapy. No clue how to do #5 or #6.

Does anybody have any suggestions? What the heck do you do for your child alters who are so desperately alone? Now he's embarrassed I've said all this here, he doesn't want to be seen as a baby. Oh this is dreadful.

I too have uncovers an 11 year old. Her name is Lillyane and we have having the same troubles finding her someone her own age to hang out with. She's pretty scared to talk to people too. She flashbacks and cries a lot and it makes me panic. I try to get her to talk on this forum and its working so far. I wish I could tell you which option is better, maybe none of them are the better one, who really knows? Sorry I cannot be of more help. Just know that I know what your going threw

Why not have him talk to some of the people on here? Lilly's 13, but I'm sure she'd love talking to him. It might be the same as talking to him in person, but he'd still be able to socialize with people closer to his age.

Would volunteering with Big Brothers/Big Sisters be inappropriate? Or at the local Y or public school? Do you have any acquaintances who have children? Are you prepared to explain your DID to the adults responsible for those children?