One of my GFs alters doesnt like me...

As the subject mentions one of my girlfriends main alters does not seem to like me much. I need some advise about how to handle this. The alter that doesn't like me is a main alter that comes out alot in the fall because she is a runner and fall is cross country season. Right now it is not to bad because I don't speak to her that often but she will get angry and stop my conversation with my GF or another of the alters. She tends to say rude things but right now I can handle it. It is when she will be out alot in the fall that I am concerned about. My GF tells me that during running season the alter is out more then my GF is so I dont know what I will be able to do about the situation. Does anyone have any advise about what I should say or do?

Do you happen to know specifically why this particular alter hates you so much?

See, two of my boyfriend's alters used to hate me when they first met me. Because A) they wanted to be left alone wallowing in their own self-misery in the back of Johann's mind and I wasn't letting them, and B) because they aren't generally social people and had never spoken to to anyone as themselves rather than as Johann.

Once you know the root of the problem, it's easier to solve. HIM didn't like me because I accidentally triggered him out one night without realizing it, and he was mad that I now knew he existed (actually he was mad in general, but still). But when I promised that I wasn't going to tell anyone, nor did I think he or Johann were crazy, he slowly started to adjust to me. He's still adjusting, but he will now willingly come out and talk to me now for short periods of time when Johann or whoever else is out wants to take a break. HIM is very secretive, and used to hate me because his existence was a secret. Even now I have to be careful when I'm talking to him, because if he thinks I'm prying where my nose doesn't belong, he shuts down and stops talking to me. (And he's the core, so I can't have him disliking me...)

Johnny didn't like me at first because he was determined not to fall in love like Johann did. Johnny's personality is a lot like HIM's, therefore he's a pretty private person too. However, Johnny is fully accustomed to me, and possibly jealous of Johann (the host) and HIM (the core) for both being 'Johann' and being who the world sees when they look at the physical body. So if Johann and I get married, despite wanting to more than anything - Johnny can't be the one to do it.
See, one night back in mid-January I get a phone call at about 9:00PM. And Johann is panicking that Johnny is freaking the hell out on him all pissed off for no reason (probably got into an argument with their mom, Johnny's never been good at handling those), and was possibly going to do some sort of damage if he wasn't stopped. Only Johann had tried everything he could think of, and he couldn't subdue him because Johnny is bigger and stronger than he is. So he pushes Johnny into possession and tells me to do something before something goes wrong. So I wait until Johnny stops making angry growling/snarling noises into my ear to tell him, "Johnny, calm the f*** down. And then when you're calm, calm even more the f*** down." (this became sort of a catch-phrase after that night, which usually hints to Johnny at times if he's over-stepping boundaries emotionally and we think he might freak on us). So I spent about 15-20 minutes coaxing Johnny to calm down and tell me what was going on. Eventually he did, apologized to Johann for scared the crap out of him, and passed out. But since that night he's trusted me because he knows I'm listening to him as Johnny, and not as Johann.

It's all a matter of seeing that alter eye-to-eye on their level. In the case of both Johnny and HIM, they're both fighters (Johnny is the gate-keeper/defender, HIM used to think he was the same thing until discovering he was the core, so he works as a second defender), and if they had had it their way, they would have fought me to prove that I was not a threat to their system or to the physical body itself. However, I am a girl, and having honor, neither of them would strike a girl, and instead decided to distance themselves from me. It wasn't until I approached them both separate in their own moments of weakness without attacking them or making anything worse, but trying to solve their problems that they realized I wasn't a threat.

If I had an idea or knew why this alter hates you, I might be able to advise you on how to approach it...=\

I have asked my girlfriend if she knew why or if she could talk to the alter and ask her why but as of yet there seems to be no real reason. My girlfriend says that this particular alter is jealous of her and the relationship she has with another alter who seems to be a sort of twin of the alter who does not like me. So to me it might seem that she may be jealous of the relationship between me and my girlfriend or me and some of the other alter. I cant be certain of that though. I only get brief sentences from this angry alter. Saying things like she doesnt care, or that she has to go cause this is not interesting and shed rather watch tv or something. Ive tried to figure out the reason behind the hatred but so far I have nothing.

From my experience alters want the same thing every human being does, being validated and listened to. Communication is key. I don't know how many times I have wrote that sentence on this board but I will keep doing it. Try to talk to the alter, listen to what she has to say, even though she might say very short things, keep asking her questions as to: "why is it boring to you? Am I the one boring you? Would you like to go do something with me?" etc Show them that to you they are all equal. You love them all and you want to be able to spend time with them all. What they do with the jealousy is up to them to solve amongst them. My GF has 3 alters and they're all my GF too, by choice. The last alter that came out blocked me from my girls and was extremely mean to me. I listened to her, I bombarded her with questions and in a very sneaky way I got her to talk. So I listened to her story and kept reassuring her that I was trying to understand her, to get to know her and we ended up talking for hours. I understood why she was blocking the others and very gradually she let them come back if they were doing ok.

Maybe you can ask her about the running, why does she like it so much? Can you do something to help her prepare? Those kind of things. Getting to know the alters and their stories is very important. It might be their instinct to not tell you anything but if you show them that it's for better understanding and that your trustworthy, that you won't run even if she's mean, that you'll stay nice but draw a line at some point, she will respect you and start coming to you more and more.