who do child alters talk/play with when the body is adult?

We're living a dilemma that we just don't know how to address but we're guessing others have faced it.

We have an 11-year-old child alter, Jack, who wants desperately to talk with somebody, anybody near his own age. Jack and we know that's unnatural and impossible now as the body is middle-aged. The only alternative we've come up with so far is to find another multiple and allow our alters who are close in age to hang out, talk. Unfortunately we've never met anyone that has dissociative identity disorder (other than a family member or two, who are unaware of that fact). I (John, host) could probably convince a couple friends to meet and talk with him but Jack has told me many times something like "no offense, but you're all old." Ouch.

By his nature, he needs to be with people and the isolation and realization that he slept while the body aged decades is overwhelmingly painful. It's putting us all at risk.

His Appalachian (hillbilly) accent contrasting with our standard American accents and our living in Boston only compounds the problem. We're looking at accelerating his aging and it seems the inevitable solution, but Jonathan, an alter, warns that Jack is in jeopardy now. We're taking a trip to Eastern Kentucky next week where at least Jack will feel 'at home' but it doesn't solve the companion issue. He tells me (the host) I'm okay to talk to and we get along but I'm 'old' now, more a father figure than a potential friend.

Does anyone have any solutions for helping your lonely younger alters, your littles, find companionship? There are three baby/toddler alters we're going to be facing even greater difficulties with if they end up wanting playmates.

Thanks, John and Jonathan

We also have this issue. Penny has asked many times to go to school or to have sleep overs. It is hard.
Enzo was able to play with a friend's son who is also 3 last week. The poor boy was a little confused that Enzo was trying to tell him he is also 3 but lives in a grown women's body.
While we were in treatment at Castlewood Penny made friends with a few other's alters and that was nice for her.

We have thought to maybe work in childcare again once we are stable enough to give the little ones some time but also have an older part co-present.

If anyone else has any ideas we would be up to entertaining them as well.

Shilo

Is there anyway he could get over the lonelieness slightly by communicating with others on here?
I have a 5 year old alter so I know how you feel. I buy her loads of toys but she wants to play with others. Sometimes we go co-concious and Sophie will play with her, but this is rare. Could you do the co-conciousness and play that way?
It's a very difficult situation so I'm sorry my ideas aren't great!

This is a delicate problem.

I have children, and no way would I let them come on here even with my close supervision. I certainly would not let them come on here without supervision. I have been approached here by another subscriber's child alter, and I am sorry but I think this is not appropriate. There is no guarantee that any of us is who we appear to be. And there are too many triggers here.

Some therapists who write about DID recommend that a parent with DID not allow their child alters to play with their children. But child alters do need play. I think an acceptable compromise is for child alters to be allowed to come out when there is supervision by a responsible adult who is aware of the DID and willing and able to supervise. This adult could be the other parent, another family member, a good friend, or a professional such as a therapist, counselor, or social worker. The adult needs to be prepared to take control immediately if, for instance, the child alter is triggered into a flashback.

Our nine year old is allowed to play online at child safe sites. Sites where the chat function only allows certain words, for example. It may not be exactly what she wants, but it's still good for her to get interaction. Also, there are other sites for survivors where littles get their own area. We still moniter those, but we do think it's worth it.

Hello i am milly

Audra does not let me play with people a lot of the time. One of our friends has 2 little sisters that are 7 and 9 and a little brother that is 4 that i sometimes get to play with but not a lot . Our friend is very good and she watches us and plays with us to make sure we are safe. Sometimes she plays with just me and not her sisters and brother. She is lots of fun .

IT is weird sometimes becayse i do not know anybody who is as old as me but it is okay our body is too big and i know she does not want lots of people to know we are here . I have some dolls and i draw and i like to make crafts and ride my bike too so i can just play by myself too. It is nice to talk to other kids but i like doing things by myself too i do not mind .

I hope you get to meet some nice friends or some people who can play with jack he seems really fun !

Love milly