Us and talking

Hi I'm Amenacer, first diagnosed with DDNOS and later with DID.
I'm happy to have found this forum. It's given me mighty good tips.
I'm bad at being coherent and clear, but here I go.

I have a question. We have a hard time going to the psychologist and sticking with it (sometimes an alter decides we're not going and I wind up being someplace else) and that feeling tends to be mutual after a while. However, I do really , really need some help. My problem is that when we do go, there's always someone sitting there that's not allowed to say anything regarding us or how it's going. And this is always and without fail. I've tried to calm her down, tried to find out if there were threats made or that it's just distrust, but I seem to be getting nowhere. She says she's simply not allowed to talk about itand neither am I, but that she'd like to. And we really like this psychologist. We're afraid he'll want to stop meeting. I've tried to work this out for a couple of years, but with little result.
Is there anyone who has tips on how to break this cycle?

Amenacer

Have you talked to your therapist about it? Maybe you can take the first few minutes and you and the therapist can dedicate it to that alter in some way?

Are you telling us something that you have not been able to tell your therapist? Your therapist needs to know that there is a protector in your system who is shutting you down. That would be the one to focus on. Your therapist should already know this, without your having to explain it. Does your therapist have experience working with other DID clients?

Can you e-mail the therapist? That may allow your insiders to communicate.

I haven't been able to tell him, because I never get to say it (or anyone else for that matter). She tells things as though we don't switch and refuses to speak about us. She does all she can to try to make sure we don't switch. When we do switch and try to tell we tend to switch back to her. My partner has told him and the therapist has tried to break the ice (the first one to actually believe my partner and try), but we're not getting anywhere.
He has no experience with DID bu, t has with dissociation. He has been the first therapist most of us REALLY want to talk to and nobody (including her) want to leave him. He knows this and is willing to help to us untill he finds a better place for us so to say.
So far he has helped us with a lot of things (like our agoraphobia and stuff), it's just the alter-subject and inside world-thing that's apparently a big no-no.
I do have an email- address, but we get sabotaged before we can send anything. There was one way that allowed us to talk about it, but that created very bad situations within and put strain on my relationship for him telling on us and has let to none of us being allowed t talk to the therapist.
I thought, maybe I could do some inside work to fix that, but it seems the subject is a little too touchy now. Maybe we should wait untill it's not such a sore subject?
Sorry for the long stretch of text. I hope it does clarify things somewhat.

Amenacer

My therapist also has experience with PTSD and dissociation but not DID. I am having similar problems with communication. Someone is blocking it. Maybe I am doing that myself, but I don't think so. This is new to all of us, my husband too of course. He has just begun to be willing to try to talk to my insiders, and someone in there wants to talk to him but so far it hasn't quite happened. Stuff has happened but it has not been conversation.

Same here. I wrote to http://www.sidran.org/index.cfm and got a list of therapists within 2 hours of me who had trauma training and there was only one. She works a lot with PSTD and dissociative disorders, but I am the first one with possible DID. At the end of our 3rd meeting though she was ready for mapping - after she met the scared little one last week.

I am reading the blog of a DID therapist that a member here gave me the link to. So far its great!
http://discussingdissociation.wordpress.com/

Sadly her last post was January 2011

Thank you for the advice

My partner is going to help me the first session by slipping my note to the therapist explaining about the not-allowed-to-say-regime and that we'd like to to try to address that first (something we've avoided so far). See if it pays off.

Amenacer

Awesome Amen...!

The foot in the door is always the hardest step!!!! Yay!