One of my alters is getting me in a lot of trouble

Hi all, this is very hard for me, but I need to vent away because this is driving me crazy and I'm very ashamed to even ask for help. I'm 24, and have 3 alters. One of them is Jennifer, she's 16 and she's been having a romantic relation with my nephew who is 19. Jennifer is very dominant, reckless, immature, wild and stubborn. I've been trying to convince her to break up with my nephew but she says they are in love and want to get married. I honestly don't know how to handle this situation. I'm originally from another country, and can't afford looking for help here since I don't have insurance. Please anything u can tell me to help me out.

Love (me)
Jennifer (16 yr old teen, dominant, jealous, and aggressive)
Nathy (35 yr, single, gym and health freak and vegetarian)
Pitu (married, lesbian, quiet, shy, loves to eat and bake)

Does your nephew know that Jennifer is a part of you? As in, does he know that he is talking with your body? I think that it might be a toxic relationship for them to have because you are family. It could not only hurt him and Jennifer if they continue the relationship, but your friends and family could have a stigma against you for being the one seen with your nephew .

She might be really defensive about it all but you are the body she is using as a vessel and she should understand that. If she puts your body/image out there she could be hurting you while she is having her fun. There has to be some sort of compromise to get her to stop acting so impulsively. I hope she eventually listens to you.

The thing is I only met my nephew 3 years ago; my brother walked away from them, so when my nephew grew older he looked out for me on myspace, but Jennifer went into my account and started flirting with him, and I guess they both felt a connection or something. Then when I met my nephew for the first time, I realized he had already met Jennifer, and they were in love and didn't care what people thought of it. I tried to explain him that Jennifer was my alter but he thought I was making all this up to walk away from the relation.
I feel very sad because I never really got to know my nephew, and I know all this is very confusing for him because when I'm myself I ignore his calls and try to avoid contact as much as possible, but when Jennifer takes over me, she always runts to him and then he gets all confuse again. Please help me. I got no one to talk about this and I'm feeling so guilty, scare and worry about the consequences of all of this.

Love145, do you have a therapist? Someone who can meet with your nephew and explain the situation? You could also direct him here.

Has your alter had sex with him, or is this relationship all online? Have you talked with his father, your brother? Do you know the origin of the abuse in your own history? If I were you I would be very, very cautious in dealing with people in your family of origin. Odds are, you are not the only one who was abused.

Right now I can't afford therapy...I got no one to talk abut this other than here... i don't want to talk about this with anyone, I'm very ashamed, I fear to be judged... I thought people here were going to understand me, but I feel the silence and lack of responses proves a point... which is that not even people with DID can relate, offer an advice or much support...

I feel so sad, scare, and been even thinking about suicide..

I have very few memories of me as a child, most memories are from when I was 15 and up... I do have a few memories where I was being physically and verbally abused, and also raised in isolation... But those memories are very vague... I don't remember feeling sad or scare... it's like I found a way to scape my reality and went somewhere else... and who knows what happened to me during those early years because I don't even have memories of me when I was 8 or 10 or even 13...

Love145, please try to focus on the current situation with your nephew, and answer my questions. Your situation is more about an unusual relationship than about DID, which makes it difficult for many people to relate to. And some who do relate may find this whole thread more than they can handle.

If your suicidal thoughts are going as far as how to do it, please get off the computer now and call a crisis hotline! You are a valuable person. Hang in there. It will get better.

I'm not having a relationship with my nephew, Jennifer is... I honestly don't know how far it's gone, I'm very scare to even find out... So I don't talk to my nephew no more, I even changed my number because I'm scare of what could had happened between them already. All I know is that i try very hard to not let Jennifer take over my body because when she does I have no memories of what she does. Like I said before, I was not even aware when I went to meet my nephew for the first time, that he had already met Jennifer and had been going out with her for a while. So yes, they have met in person.

since not so many people are giving me feedback, please PM me, I kind of feel weird posting all this information when I know so many are reading but not saying much about it. So if you want to ask me any more question, I'll be happy to answer. I really need someone to talk with, and appreciate deeply ur responses.

Love145, I have trouble remembering what information is private and what is public, so it is safer for you if we do not PM and you share only what you feel comfortable sharing in the open forum.

Jennifer is part of you. She has already proven that she is powerful enough to take control and make you absent, so trying to stop her by willpower alone isn't likely to work, is it? Things you can do include keeping very close track of your time and activities, also journaling. She may communicate with you that way. Or you could ask her to talk to us here.

Well, Love145, you could send your nephew here; we may be able to help him understand that this is real. The best person to tell him would be Jennifer. Let's ask Jennifer what has happened between them and what she thinks about DID. Does she deny you exist?

Jennifer, would you like to talk to us? Love145 has a lot of fear right now, and that fear must be awful for you too.

The best person to tell him would be Jennifer. Let's ask Jennifer what has happened between them and what she thinks about DID. Does she deny you exist?

Jennifer knows I exist. She talks down to me all the time. She thinks I'm a coward because I suffer from anxiety and depression, so she puts me down all the time and thinks all I want is to steal her happiness because I'm jealous since my life is so miserable.

I honestly don't trust her, I wish she'd come here and post, but when she takes over me she doesn't care about this matter. For her, he isn't her nephew either, and she even tries to convince me that I'm not his aunt either because none of us knew about his existence. And when I try to explain her that he has our blood, she says she doesn't care, that my brother was not her brother, and as result, this guy isn't her nephew.

Like I said before I don't want to ask them some questions because I'm afraid of the answers, but I do think they have had a real romantic relation.

A year ago, Jennifer took over my body for like 3 weeks and I don't have any recollection of what happened during that time. All I know is that I got kicked out of college when I was a good student for missing 2 exams, I got fired for missing work and not calling, and even my family who was counting on me for some important things was very hurt and angry because no-one knew where I was.

Sometimes Jennifer has tried to convince me to let her take the direction of my life... I'm just lost... so weak... yet I'm fighting as much as I can to not let her get away with things this way. I mean, she is only 16, but I'm 24.... and on top of everything I'm his aunt, so there is no way i can even consider a romantic relation with my nephew.