Order Reversal in alts?

It seems the more I read, the more I see that when a person is DID, that there are several ways for the alters to exist within the person..
My girlfriend has had an alter (male) from very early on in her life, its hard for her to even recall things about her past before him. Since then, they have co-existed in daily life, switching was automatic and always shared, emotions, routines, issues she couldnt handle herself in any relationship.
He has helped her verbalize and maintain relationships by being the understanding, patient, open and loving one. Hes calm, sensitive to others feelings, strong, neat, and healthier than her.
Recently, early March to be exact, he has been coming out more and more on his own, becoming evolved into his own being, has been given more time to grow, but this only happens in the pressence of her or me.
He has started to dissasociate himself to her and her daily needs, and only wants to talk or be out if I am in the picture or the topic is about me, our lives, etc. Although she is very open with him while her and I are together, he listens to us, she shares all with him, her feelings, he is the only one she does this with.
She is feeling hurt by this, that when him and I decided to have a relationship, its almost like he is abandoning her. She feels as if he is becoming selfish, and I sense some animosity brewing..Maybe towards her alt, and I, Idk..
She also feels that he has grown resentful of sharing a body, and he has expressed to us both, that until I came in the picture he never knew what he was missing, although they have had past romantic relationships, they were all shared without the other party being aware of her DID.
He has now been silent to her and I for the past 9 days, she has tried over and over to speak with him, says she doesnt even sense his pressence.
She has tried to just convey a message to him from me, nothing still.
It almost seems as if everything is ending at the starting point for most, any help would be appreciated.
We both feel lost and confused, and its extremely hard for her to talk to anyone regarding any of this.
He is not the type to just leave, we all love eachother, but in any DID relationship, of course there are circumstances and issues we need to overcome..
Any suggestions in what to do for either of them would be helpful, she wants him back, she needs him.
But as of now is so frustrated in sad, she is becoming withdrawn and more depressed..
Could he have just left without talking to her first, she has no clue..

Uhm.. I dont know if Ill be much help, but Ill try ^^;;

So, A while back ago, all but one of my Alters basically Vanished. No warning, no "be back soon" nothing. They just.. Poof'd. Those were very stressful weeks.. Anyways. Eventually they all came back. Said they just needed to get away, though no one told me where they went.

Basically, what Im trying to get at is that Alters can just "leave" (as far as Im aware of) and eventually they'll come back.. So I gues you guys should just be patient and let him come back on his own?

Yeah, like i said, I dont know if I was much help..

Thank you for your response, I would feel better with all of the waiting if things werent so good with us immediately before.. Just makes it very hard and confusing for her and I.. But all we can do is wait I suppose.

yeah.. I understand get that its hard to just sit and wait. That's why I wish I had a better response for you x..x

Yes, alters can leave, usually because they are afraid or feel unsafe. They have to be comforted and they will returns.

Hopefully he will return soon. I spent 3 months as a singlet, haven't been one since. It did take longer for the others to come back compared my host but they did eventually.

Jef