I wish this was all over (I need to vent, very triggering)

Thank you for all your support and encouragement . It really made a difference to read all of this!

Yesterday my uncle pinched my ass again. He said, "I used to change that butt, but I remember being weird about it because, you know, you had 'girl parts', but that didn't stop me from changing it." That sounds kind of normal but the way he said it really freaked me out. I hate when he touches me or is near me like that (for obvious reasons it triggers me) and for him to say how he was uncomfortable with me at that age confused me.

I don't like being touched by people unless I approve the touch. There's no way for me to know when he's going to touch my butt I really have to walk around him and not get too close because it happens so often. And even when I react to it and say, "ew stop that!" it's like he doesn't hear me. Ugh, I'm doing really good otherwise and I'm not nearly as upset and stressed as I was the other day, but god damn I hate that dirty feeling I get after he's touched me in any way.

He sounds like a complete wierdo to be honest, I hate people like that inconsiderate a-holes!
I'm the same, I hate unwanted touches from people. I remember you mention your stepmom sticks up for you, would it help telling her about this? Glad you're avoiding him as much as possible!
So sorry you have to put up with all his c***. You don't deserve it at all after everything you've been through and it sounds like the sooner he's away from you, the better!

I agree! I haven't told anyone about the butt pinching, but they all have heard him make these weird comments about me like calling me sexual names and saying dirty things to me and my dad has caught on and said, "She's your niece! That's gross!" but again they all kind of play things off as "jokes" so it's never taken seriously, except by me. I don't want to feel like I'm in the wrong for wearing a bathing suit in 115 degree Vegas heat, like somehow I am at fault for wearing something normal around them. He and his son ogle me but tell me I'm wrong for wearing anything shorter than pants and a turtle neck around them. I have a hard time telling people about what goes on because of past issues with things like this, but maybe I'll get the strength to get them caught in the act by my dad or step-mom, they don't tolerate that stuff, so I'll give that a try.

One time I caught my cousin eyeing me after I left the shower in a towel, he stopped in his tracks and backed up to see up the towel (I was upstairs in the hall and he was downstairs), and Jack yelled at him, "What the F*CK are you looking at??" and he stopped and stuttered "n-n-nothing" and walked away. A few months before that my uncle made an offhanded comment about how I should show my cousin what a girl's body looks like, boobs and everything, because he doesn't know. Like, WHAT? I was so creeped out by that one, but again it was "a joke".

Annoying to say the least! I'm a grown woman but I revert back to a younger me around them and feel like I'm being violated all over again and I can't fight back when clearly I can and do now. It's one big mind-f*ck sometimes.

Did you manage to talk to your stepmum and dad? Sorry I didn't reply for a while!
Glad Jack jumps in to help sometimes

Actually we haven't needed to say anything because somehow things have gotten less aggravating. I know that it won't last long, heh, but I've been distancing myself a lot and that seems to be helping clear my head. I also have been trying to be more assertive towards the people that make me upset. My uncle just got a job too that he's pretty much forced to keep, so hopefully he will get the money he needs to just get out already. I love my family to death, but these people are toxic!

Thank you for all your support! It means a lot to me that I can breathe and know that someone is listening .

Clearing your head sounds like a good thing! If it gets worse, at least you can try that option. I hope he gets out your house too, at least you'll have a few hours a day away from the stress!
No problem, I'll always have time to listen, you've done alot for us!
Take care

Those few hours are like gold to me! Lol.

Thank you so much .

Glad to hear it's gotten a bit better recently. Hopefully your uncle will hurry up and get out and take his sorry son with him.

[quote="carpediem46" I'll always have time to listen, you've done alot for us![/quote]

Same here.

Oh hun that's a really difficult situation

I had trouble reading the whole topic because of how emotionally charged it was (sensitive today)
so if my answer is a little bit behind I apologize.

As for the 'loving' boyfriend verbal abuse is still abuse and you should never ever put up with abuse.
It sounds like you've had a ton of it and I'm not surprised you ran into the wrong people,
your family aren't exactly the greatest role models here.

Your uncle is completely out of line and it is completely inexcusable for him to be pinching your butt
and to be making 'jokes'. Needless to say if one of my family members were doing that he'd get a talking
to (or a $#%^ kicking) for unwanted touching and advances.

Your family sounds difficult to deal with (It's okay to love them, but not to let them get away with treating
you like dirt). I'm sorry you're in such a rough situation.

When all we've had is abuse piled upon abuse we find it hard to maintain boundaries or even to know
what healthy boundaries are.
We begin to wonder if truly, we deserved the abuse.

Here are some things I learned and now know from experience.

You never, ever deserve abuse. Ever.
You never, ever have to accept abuse.
When you are uncomfortable with something, when something just doesn't 'feel' right, or when that
little nagging gut feeling we have that our abusers tried to get us to ignore or even to discredit is there?
It means something is wrong. Boundaries are being crossed.
Healthy boundaries means you don't feel bad, sad, uncomfortable, or upset because you have the systems
in place to protect you.
A healthy boundary is saying "I love you, but you are never allowed to abuse me."
A healthy boundary is refusing to let someone hurt you.
A healthy boundary is saying "STOP, that makes me uncomfortable."
A healthy boundary is sticking up for yourself, and if your boundaries get crossed anyways, to do something about it.

One of my abusers refused to stop when I put up healthy boundaries.
They made up all sorts of excuses as to why I was wrong and even tried to make me feel stupid and wrong
by saying there was nothing wrong with what they were doing.
But I said NO, STOP, and they didn't respect my boundaries.
So, I gathered up all the courage I had, and I cut them out of my life.
It was me saying that I valued myself and I respected my own boundaries and I wouldn't let him cross them.

Sending tons of love your way.
I'm sorry that you're currently around so many toxic people.
There really are some good people out there... they're just hard to find because they
tend to avoid toxic people too

Good luck to you, feel free to vent all you need to, and I really hope your situation improves!
Get it all out! And continue to work on healthy coping methods.