I'm very scared right now.

It's hard to battle irrational thoughts with logic, because the thoughts themselves are irrational.

It sounds like you're so worried, your body is showing psychosomatic symptoms.
It's actually possible for a lady who wants to be and believes they are pregnant so much to show the symptoms of pregnancy.
Therefore it's possible for someone that is so afraid they have a specific illness to show signs without having it.
However, it is important that you go get checked as well if you believe you have something, just in case.

Paranoia is a hard thing to fight.
Take deep calming breaths if you can whenever you start to worry about being sick.
Anxiety and stress can contribute to being afraid.
Can you recall a time in your life when you didn't have this type of paranoia?
Can you think of some reasons it might have started?
You should probably look into seeing a specialist about this.

Thats the best advice I'e gotten thus far. But I can't afford a specialist.

This all started with having sex with my GF. We didn't use a condom for about 6 times over 8 weeks, scaring the hell out of Zack. He has to be worried for our safety. Its his job, and he does a great job. But, for some reason, he can't speak to her. He's never been the one needing protection. So the roles have switched: I'm the protector, and he's up front, scared of STD's while trying to please this naked woman.

So it sounds like it might be Zack that is the reason for the paranoia.

Once I developed an irrational fear of people looking in through windows and ready to hurt me.
I would keep windows covered at all times and be terrified if they were open.
It wasn't until I worked with my alters that I found a memory of a man looking in my window
as a child in the middle of the night.
They were freaked that there were more people out there and as a result I felt the fear but
didn't know the reason.

If you can't afford a specialist, try talking with Zack. Maybe he hasn't been educated about sex
and STDs or sex itself freaks him out.
I've had protectors wake up during sex and get freaked out as well, but for different reasons.
It's important that you and your parts feel safe before, during, and after sex.
If you can try to talk to Zack and explain to him what you can about these things and ask him what
would help him feel safer. Or better yet, help him find a more helpful way of protecting the system.

That's all I can think of at the current moment. How are you doing?

I'm doing good, thank you.

How are you?

I'm doing alright... a little freaked out about school but I survived hell before,
I'm sure a couple test papers won't hold me back
Glad to hear you're doing okay

raoul_duke wrote:Well good luck to you kid. I understand how hard it is.

Donating blood is pretty clever, by the way. You help people in need and get a free test out of it. That's what I call killing two birds with one stone. Try and get back out to donate as soon as you can. Nothing will ease those worries like a negative test result.

You should never test yourself with donating blood. They do not test for everything and sometimes things go through the cracks. You may be sentencing someone else to an STD if you have one and it is not detected.
It is easy enough to goto the clinic and get a blood test. Besides, some STD tests come from urine.

As for helping the paranoia, just try to keep the mindset it may be an overreaction. Maybe referencing your ISH or someone that you trust on the outside to help you see logic. It is easier for me though since I have someone inside who is pure logic. If you ever have doubts though go get yourself tested and tell the doctor. Also, using protection in sex will help alleviate risk.

Sia wrote:You should never test yourself with donating blood. They do not test for everything and sometimes things go through the cracks. You may be sentencing someone else to an STD if you have one and it is not detected.
It is easy enough to goto the clinic and get a blood test. Besides, some STD tests come from urine.

As for helping the paranoia, just try to keep the mindset it may be an overreaction. Maybe referencing your ISH or someone that you trust on the outside to help you see logic. It is easier for me though since I have someone inside who is pure logic. If you ever have doubts though go get yourself tested and tell the doctor. Also, using protection in sex will help alleviate risk.

First, the paranoia is over with. What we did was figure out what was making him upset. Namely, we switched durring sex, and he was scared. That was it, and were still working on it, something I am very proud of him for doing.

Second, they have to test for a lot of STDs with blood tests, with HIV/AIDS near the top. I worked on a documentary about the subject matter (which also could have contributed to the paranoia, but still). I know what they do test for, and the list, while not as extensive as the public wants to believe it is, is good enough. They haven't let an HIV-Positive person donate in over 22 years, something they are quite proud of (When I review the footage of the manager stating this, it makes me giggle a bit, cause I know she is so happy with that fact, and also makes me feel incredibly safe, since they are serious about keeping this record going on forever).

They're very strict on donations; they have to be. They are literally dealing with life-or-death scenarios on a dailybasis, and if I can calm down 2 alters at once (Zacks paranoia about STDs and TK's bloodlust) and save 3 peoples lives, then thats a success, man. And I will continue to do it, becuase it works and no one complains. Everybody wins.

If it works for you, go for it. No arguments here. Glad to see he has calmed down.