Can an organic illness cause DID?

For the record, my real name isn't Magdalene, but I'm going to refer myself to that in the story for the sake of continuity. I found this community through a lot of Googling. I've been extremely confused by a lot of odd symptoms I've been having lately that look like they may be DID. I've never been physically or sexually abused (although I was bullied when I was younger), and I never showed signs of being multiple as a child. These symptoms seemed to have come up at the age of 18 as a result of neurological Lyme Disease, which I've been plagued with for over a year (I'm 19 now). My question is, can that happen? Can adults just randomly develop multiple personalities from an organic illness like Lyme? I'm afraid to tell my doctor about this because I don't want him thinking I'm crazy, and I don't want to be institutionalized or forcibly integrated (if I am, in fact, multiple).

Here's pretty much the gist of what happened. If you don't feel like doing a lot of reading, scroll down to the "short version" at the bottom.

LONG, MORE DETAILED VERSION: I've been suffering from chronic Lyme Disease for heaven knows how long. I don't recall getting bitten by a tick and never got a rash, although this isn't completely unheard of, as only 60-80% of Lyme patients recall the classic EM rash and even fewer recall a tick bite. Anyway, I first started developing odd memory and speech problems in late 2009, extremely alarming neurological problems in February 2010, and was finally diagnosed with Late Stage Chronic Lyme Disease in August 2010. I have a SPECT scan of my brain proving widespread damage caused by the disease. For the sake of space, I won't go into too much detail on my symptoms unless anyone wants to know, but here's a short version of everything I've experienced: pain and paresthesia, mostly on right side, numbness on right side, episodes of paralysis on right side, episodes of bell's palsy, episodes of aphasia, dyskinesia, dystonia, other motor tics, vocal tics, cataplexy, OCD, extreme weakness, and fatigue. I'm finally experiencing relief from my symptoms on IV antibiotics, which I've been on for about five weeks now and will be on for a little less than two months more.

What does this have to with DID, you ask? Well, around the same time all of these other symptoms showed up, I started experiencing these weird episodes in which I would black out and behave oddly. At first, I would do nothing but stare off into space, sometimes looking around and making meaningless gestures, but never saying anything or responding to anyone. This usually lasted no longer than a minute or two. My fiance called these episodes "zoning out". The neurologist I was seeing at the time thought I was having complex partial seizures, but my EEG turned out to be normal. Shortly after this the neurologist got extremely confused by all the weird, seemingly unrelated symptoms I was having, and thinking that nothing could cause all these symptoms at once, told me I was imagining the whole thing and sent me on my merry way. He was the third doctor to dismiss me as a psych case. I never told another doctor about the "zoning out" episodes again.

The episodes continued on for months, even after I was diagnosed with Lyme and put on oral antibiotics. After a while, I started to talk during the episodes, although I still had limited recall of them. According to my fiance, who witnessed more of the episodes than anyone else (and who is also the most wonderfully patient and supportive man in the world to put up with all of this), my voice and laugh were different, "like a little kid", and I'd make faces and act mischeivously (like by throwing things, starting tickle fights, or taking off my clothes in a non-sexual way). After a while, he started to wonder if I was "reverting back to my childhood." He wanted me to tell my Lyme doctor about the episodes, but I didn't want to because I was afraid he would think I was crazy. I still am.

After I refused to talk to my doctor about the episodes, my fiance decided to do some investigating of his own. When I would "zone out", he started asking me questions. If he asked me what my name was, I would say my name, Magdalene. But if he asked me how old I was, I would either say "I don't know" or make up something ridiculous, like 89 or 126, although I still said my birthdate was the same. If he asked me what school I went to, I would say the name of the school I went to from Kindergarten to third grade. I said my cat's name was Lucy, even though Lucy died four years ago. All sorts of stuff like that pointed to this weird alter ego being a younger version of myself. My fiance dubbed her "Zmagdalene", short for Zoned-Out Magdalene.

At this point we still weren't sure what Zmagdalene was or what was happening to me when I "became" her. We tossed around theories about me spontaneously falling asleep and sleepwalking, reverting back to my childhood, and of course, having another personality, but neither of those made sense at the time so we kind of left it hanging in the air. I started remembering zoning out more often. It was weird; although I was aware of everything that was happening, I wasn't controlling anything my body did or what I said. That was almost scarier than blacking out and waking up on the other side of the room with my pants off. Meanwhile, my fiance was taking a shine to Zmagdalene. He got her to like him, and she started being really sweet and affectionate with him, again, in a way a little kid would be. Even though he was charmed like this, we still both saw the zoning out as a problem, hoped that it was part of the Lyme, and hoped that it would go away. These episodes still weren't usually lasting longer than a few minutes.

Last month, my Lyme symptoms started getting worse again despite repeated trials of oral antibiotic treatment, so my doctor prescribed me IV antibiotics. As soon as I went on these, my Lyme symptoms got worse, although that was to be expected (Google "Herxheimer Reaction" if you are curious why). The same time all of my other Lyme symptoms started to get worse, I started zoning out more often, and it appeared as though other personalities were emerging. First, a shy, sad girl who said that her name was Julia and that she was 12 appeared. Then, when my fiance made fun of "me" for "smoking" a tube of chapstick ("I" was holding it in between my fingers and taking it in and out of my mouth like it was a cigarette), "I" apparently threw the chapstick at him and started swearing up a storm. On a hunch, he asked this new personality what her name was, and she said that her name was Chloe and she was 17. Chloe turned out to be rude, a potty mouth, and a little violent. Zmagdalene was still coming out more often than these two did, and when my fiance asked about them, Zmagdalene said that they came to live with her because she was lonely. She also mentiond a boy named Sammy who came with them, but to this day, we can count the times we think Sammy has come out (that we know of) on one hand. Again, these episodes still don't last longer than a few minutes, and they're even shorter when they happen in public.

After about two weeks, Chloe left suddenly and was replaced by a hyper-sexual personality named Audrey, who has tried to seduce my fiance on multiple occasions. About two weeks later, when my Lyme symptoms started improving, everyone except for Zmagdalene stopped coming out, and Zmagdalene complained to my fiance that she couldn't find any of her friends. When he asked her why, she said they were "hiding". We took this as a sign that maybe they were integrating themselves or something. But a few days ago, everyone (except for Chloe) came back and brought a new personality, Gracie, who is basically living in a constant state of panic. She's afraid of everyone, including my fiance, and is always crying when she comes out.


SHORT VERSION (feel free to just read this if you don't like reading or are short on time; most of the important stuff is here): I have been experiencing a baffling array of neurological symptoms that were eventually confirmed to be the result of Lyme Disease. During this time, I started experiencing strange blackouts in which I would act as if I was another person. I have limited memory of these episodes, but my fiance was present for many of them and I'm mostly going by what he told me. These got worse and more frequent as the Lyme progressed. The personality manifested in these blackouts became distinct enough that my fiance gave her a name: Zmagdalene, short for "Zoned-Out Magdalene", who was like a little-kid version of myself. After my symptoms predictably flared up when I started on IV antibiotics, even more personalities emerged: Julia, Chloe, Sammy, and Audrey. After a few weeks on IV antibiotics, all of the personalities disappeared except for Zmagdalene. When my fiance asked her where they all went, she said they were "hiding". Although we initially took this as a sign that I was integrating myself, most of them (except for Chloe) recently re-emerged and brought another one with them, Gracie.



And here we are now. The names of all the alters are changed, by the way, not just mine and Zmagdalene's. Like I said, the episodes are short, usually no longer than two minutes. In my most recent one, I was about to go from the first floor to the second floor of a building when all of a sudden I found myself at the top of the flight of stairs. My fiance recently made a deal with Audrey that if he granted her sexual favors whenever she wanted them, she would not come out in public and try to seduce other men. So far, it's worked, so apparently they can control when they come out, at least to some extent. They also can bring each other and myself out at will, although I can't bring them out. Sometimes, though, my fiance will say to Zmagdalene, "Can you bring the other Magdalene back?" and she'll say something along the lines of, "I can't. She's sleeping and I can't wake her up." They also all seem to be aware of and able to communicate with each other.

Sorry this is so long, but my question is, does this sound like what you guys with DID experience? Could it be possible that I got DID from Lyme? Did any of you get DID from an organic illness, or does it always come from trauma? Do I go to a therapist and get "integrated"? Quite frankly, the thought of that scares me. Zmagdalene seems so sweet and whenever my fiance asks her if she could stop coming out, she gets all horrified and says, "Why do you want me to die?" As annoying and scary as this is, I don't want to "kill" all the little people inside my head! What should I do? My fiance and I are at our wits end right now!

Welcome, Magdalene

Wow, um... I don't think DID can be caused by a disease, or at least I've never heard of it happening. I have heard of children going through scary/painful medical procedures and ending up with it, but I don't think it can happen to adults. DID is kind of something that develops in childhood. Maybe something about the disease made them decide to show themselves? It sounds like maybe Zmagdalene has been around since you were little, since she knows your old school. Have your fiancée ask a few of them how long they've been around.

Of course, there's the possibility it isn't DID, but they sound like alters. I don't know what else it could be. Try seeing a therapist (preferably one who specializes in dissociative disorders), because they shouldn't make you feel crazy like your other doctors did. Oh, and you don't have to integrate, if you don't want to. You can learn to work with each other, instead of integrating. You will probably still need a therapist, though. You can look here, for a therapist: http://www.isst-d.org/find-a-therapist/ ... rapist.htm

Assuming they are alters, "hiding" would likely mean they are inside your head somewhere, and she couldn't find them. It probably would not mean integration.

Magdalene wrote:Zmagdalene seems so sweet and whenever my fiance asks her if she could stop coming out, she gets all horrified and says, "Why do you want me to die?"

Awww

Dear Magdalene - I am really sorry to hear about your struggle with Lyme disease.
It's a disease that I take very seriously. I have not had it myself, but I know people who have struggled with it. I encourage you to find a medical doctor/neurologist who is experienced with Lyme and takes your symptoms seriously. Don't stop telling them what your symptoms are. If they don't want to work with it, move on to the next one.

I don't know much about the reputation of this doctor, but you might want to read this article. There are some comments on DID, and I would think about this more.
http://www.mentalhealthandillness.com/tnaold.html

I don't do well with antibiotics and get very spaced out. I think that can make 'alters' come out even if you normally are a well-integrated person. So I would also look further into the side effects of antibiotics.

I have good experience with IMT - integrative manual therapy. It's a little bit for 'believers' but I seem to be making good progress in my life since I am getting this about once a week. These people claim they can work with Lyme's disease.

Good luck and I wish you a good recovery.