how can I help my wife deal

Hey everyone I just got diagnosed with D.I.D. early march of 2011. I have been married to my wife who i love very much since oct of 08 and she has had to try and deal with me being different all the time but really not knowing that it was D.I.D. until just now and she is very mentally exhausted from it. I am starting to get help for my problem but my biggest stress area is at home because as a child I was neglected and my DR thinks thats where this was created. I have no memory of my child hood outside of a select few things.

I want to try and make her life easier but I feel lost my DR says i need something solid and strong in my life to help me through this but i have worn her down so much that she's really at a point that she doesn't know if she wants to be involved with me at all anymore. I can't say that I blame her at all for that cause I know what the switches do to my brain and body and I can't imagine dealing with it from the outside on a daily basis. Even more so when "home" is what i associate my worst self with and I am sure I lash out at her and treat her the way I always wanted to treat my parents for neglecting me.

Sorry if I got off topic I've taken A LOT of information in over the last 72 hours and I am trying my best to keep it together.

Thanks

Hello and welcome to the forum!

Perhaps you could suggest your wife get a therapist or support person for herself. I know from experience how difficult that situation is to be in. I empathise with you.

You can also ask the other part/s of you to please treat your wife with respect. Ask you other part/s why they are behaving the way they are behaving towards your wife and point out that you don't think their behaviour is in all of your best interests as it may cause one of your main support people to leave you. Have you had much communication with your others?

Also welcome to the others! If any of you would like to say hello and introduce yourself please feel free

Hey,

Welcome to the board! I think this situation is very scary for both you and your wife. It is a lot of stuff to take in and deal with at once. I would try and sit her down and have a good conversation with her. Explain to her that you really don't want her to leave you. it is important that you let her know how you feel. Try and explain to her what happens when you switch, who is there, what do they like etc. Try and get your alters to communicate with her. This way she gets to know them as well and will understand you better. Communication is key. Your alters need to have their feelings and thoughts heard as much as you do. And she needs to be able to recognize who's she dealing with at the moment you switch. Now this process will take time and with you having help now it will get easier for you to understand what's going on. But she has a choice to make: is she willing to go through this process with you? I'm sure that if you sit her down and offer her help in this, she will stick with you! Hang in there, things will probably be ok!

Well it is a lot to handle being married to someone with d.I.d. I know I put my wonderful husband threw more then most but it was his choice to keep going threw good times and bad. I suggest Journaling and finding some time to her self at least weekly. Getting her own counseling or having a few sessions with you and your therapist is a good idea too. Tell her to learn and read more about d.I.d. trust me it helps to know as much as possible from all angles what you are living with. When my mother found out about my d.I.d. she started reading. She now has a lot more patients with me and my others. We are here for her on this forum too. She can post her questions and concerns even her frustrations here for us to listen too. I'm sure there are support groups to look into and even the buddy system could be a good idea as well. Tell her maybe it was more then she knew she was getting into but she's not alone. Many d.I.d. patients are married. And many that aren't feel so broken they wish a wonderful person would walk into our lives and make us feel normal. We are not easy to handle what with all the switching. But we do still know how to love. And hopefully be loved back.