Help

i wouldnt be doing this if i had any other options. but maybe this can help. im new to this so i dont know what to do. but maybe someone will listen to me. im a teenager, and i have lived with this since i was young, and ive been at it alone. ive never met or talked to anyone else like me. in fact for most of my life i thought i was alone. if some people view this and comment so that i know its working. id like to share my story, and beg anyone out there to help me understand what i am, and maybe how to make it better.

Welcome, Maximilian

What's going on?

hi Maximilian
i dont think i can help, but if it helps to know people are listening i can do that

how do any of you lead normal lives? do u embrace the other people in you? or do u shut them out?

Shutting them out, makes things worse. It's better to work with them.

ya thats what ive sorta been doing. its just my strongest one, i cant really trust. i know this sounds wierd but hes sort of crazy. he protected me from torture most of my life by taking over and not letting me experience things. but it turned him into a monstor. he says all he wants is for us to live but i couldnt live with myself if he hurt someone innocent

Is he someone you could reason with? Like explain that hurting someone else would cause trouble for you guys (damaged relationships would make life more difficult, law trouble = fines, jail, etc.)?

Can you get a therapist?

ive tried and he says he understands. i spent years locked in a room basically a prisoner so he hates the idea as much as i do. just when im doing things sometimes i feel anger and words giving ideas of bad things i could do. and there from him. so its hard to trust. and no, i cant afford any professional help.

Do you think he would actually hurt someone, though? Maybe he's just thinking about it, but wouldn't do it, because he understands what the consequences would be.

Do you have any way of showing him "what it feels like" to be any of the rest of you - can you share feelings in your system, maybe while co-conscious? Maybe he needs to understand how his behaviour isn't really protective, that sometimes hurting others can be self-destructive? Those feelings you would have if that happened tend to put across more meaning than words. The version of me who didn't want to co-operate and shuts out all the rest of me has changed her mind because by connecting with other parts of us, she experienced what she's been missing.