Sister has DiD like me, or does she only THINK she does?

When I opened up to my sister, she told me that she has MPD/DID last night, just like me. But then she said that she “wouldn’t let” anyone diagnose her, and that my condition runs in families (which it doesn’t, its not genetic) and when I explained to her how many personalities I have and she didn’t understand the first time. She asked “and what does that mean” and I had to explain again. Then after she managed to understand she just said “well, I never got to that part.” She refused to talk about it after that.

She is an ex heroin addict, has bi-polar and I am almost positive she isn’t like me. I think she was just drunk, delusional, psychotic and attempting to be a “good” sister by “comforting” me and telling me she was just like me.

I’m so confused. I was so happy at first when she said it because I thought, wow, finally someone I can talk to! But everything else she said points directly to the fact that she had no idea of what she was talking about.

If she was lying to me, and knew it, then that’s going to crush me.

If she wasn’t, then it doesn’t matter anyway because she refuses to get diagnosed and get help.

I don’t know if I should approach her about this again.

Do you think I should push this subject with her when she is sober? (If she ever becomes sober.)

Has anything like this ever happened to any of you?

What would you do?

Hmm. That's a toughie. I know I would have a hard time with it because I wouldn't want to accuse someone of lying about their problems, but on the other hand, I think I agree with you--it doesn't sound like she has it. I don't think someone necessarily needs to be officially diagnosed to believe they have DID [for example, we aren't officially diagnosed], but we also don't think you should refuse to ever get help with it if you ARE.

Perhaps when she's sober, you could bring it up again and ask her what it feels like for HER? What's HER experience with "having DID?" And then maybe go from there...if it sounds like she doesn't have any parts at all, and it's all due to her bipolar, then maybe her bipolar disorder is starting to manifest itself a little differently or something. But it wouldn't mean she has DID.

We're sorry this has brought up so many emotions for you. We would feel VERY conflicted if someone told us "we're just like you, we have DID, too!"

I just got word that my sister has got herself booked into a week of rehab. (I thought it would have been longer than a week)

So, my chance to talk to her will be after that.

I'm sort of torn between talking to her alone or with mum in the house. I don't want mum to know about "us," but I don't want to be alone with my sister due to past abuse from her. My boyfriend said he'd speak to her with me, but I dont know if he'll be allowed to be there when she gets out of rehab, and she might just go and get drunk again.

So much to think about...

And I don't even know how to bring this up without a certain angry someone coming out and being a bitch.

Any suggestions as to exactly how to ask her about this?

Do I ask her straight out, as though its the first time I've ever asked her, or do I tell her about what she said that night while she was drunk and question her about it that way?

Hi. I understand many thoughts are pulling you in different directions. Maybe you can just give it some time? I give these things a lot of time (like months). I know the pulls, but it has helped me a lot in general to calm down on the outside (and inside) and be prepared to take a LOT of time for figuring this all out. It sounds like your sister has a lot on her plate and might not be able to think straight. So I would not expect a clear answer from her.
This might not be genetic but I am sure it can run in dysfunctional families. Maybe your sister was being cynical with her remark. Or really afraid. I'd say give her a break.

Hi. Yeah that's tough. I agree that from your original post, it doesn't sound like she has DID.
If I was in your position I think I would just tell her all over again as if it was the first time you were telling here that you have DID. Perhaps something along the lines of "I don't know if you remember me speaking to you before you went into rehab but I just wanted to tell you about this condition I have now that you are sober and therefore in a better place to understand it..." (insert whatever you wanted to say about DID and yourself and others here...) Then perhaps approach her directly about what she said, though gently "I don't know if you remember that night that I was speaking to you but you mentioned that you thought you might have DID too? Is that true, or were you just trying to be supportive of me by making sure I didn't feel too alone with it?" By phrasing that you think she was lying in the positive, you encourage her to be truthful to you and own up. If she does own up, try not to be angry with her, I'm sure she had very valid reasons and she would deserve credit for being truthful about lying in the first place as that would take a lot of courage and would show that she respects you enough to have some humility.

That's what we would do, anyway.
All the best.

We don't sign our names

I've decided to bring the subject back up with her once she is out of rehab, but with a few set conditions.

Lex (alter) isn't allowed to interfere and be a bitch unless my sister flips out and becomes violent, which is a possibility seeing as she isn't and was never exactly mentally stable and has no hesitation what-so-ever to hurt me, never has.

I have to be calm and nice about it, or at least try to and I'll ask her in the backyard because it's large and we can be well out of my mothers earshot and if anything happens I won't be too far from home.

I almost decided to ignore it, but as it is my sister and I have a lot of conflict between us (she is oblivious to a lot of the conflict half the time though, due to her alcoholism) and I don't think that ignoring what she said would help me at all. It would probably tug at my mind for a long time and gradually make me more and more irritated until it burst out of me, or one of my alters, at a bad time.

Best to get this over with before it becomes more troublesome than it needs to be.

I'm almost positive she was just going on about her bi-polar, because that runs in families and she's seen me switch before, which she could have taken to be a mood swing or something like that.

But I won't make too many assumptions because I really don't know.

It sounds like you've come up with a good plan. Let us know how it goes.
All the best.