*waving* Hi

Hi all and I am back. Yay!
My peeps with the exception of 3 have gone into lock down. Its ok everyone is adjusting and not wanting to really share. I had a very hard past couple of weeks and this freaked almost everyone out. So no one including myself is feeling really safe. I lost co living with all but 3 .

Of course this means some work ahead of me since so many roles are changing within my ISH system and only one of my outside people is active and co right now. Of course this means some black out and time loss but so far not to awful. I just wanted to say Hi and I hope everyone is on there way to wonderful.

Lolo

Hi, Lolo! I was wondering what happened to you.

Oh, no I hope things get better for you, and that we see you around here, more.

canolime wrote:Hi, Lolo! I was wondering what happened to you.

Oh, no I hope things get better for you, and that we see you around here, more.

HI

April is still here and of course she says hi.

I am working on it. I am taking all the good advice everyone has given me and trying really hard not to get mad and frustrated. I can't seem to do much of anything without my people (alts) and I mean that completely. The source is one of my alts who lives on the outside. He has always been or at least seems so. T thinks before I could walk. He is very powerful and he handles really scary stuff but the way he does that is by shutting everything down. Of course there are obvious problems with that. So I am trying to get on better terms with him and so is T, He is just so functional without regard to anything else reasoning is hard. He communicates very little and only what is needed for the "situation" so other then asking him to talk to me is pretty much out of the question. Him and I fight for front the most. Hopefully I will be able to get to whatever scared me and all so much soon.

I really could use the lights back on. Hopefully soon.

Lolo

Hi, April

lolointerupted wrote:I am working on it. I am taking all the good advice everyone has given me and trying really hard not to get mad and frustrated.

That's good. Staying calm is always a good idea. I hope you have enough patience.

lolointerupted wrote:I can't seem to do much of anything without my people (alts) and I mean that completely.

Good luck with that alter... sounds like he'll make it difficult

Hi canolime it is April. I miss you most. I am not scarry of vacancy like the others. He can not make me go in cause he says so. Makes him get so madd but make me laugh. Lolo said I can come type. I never half to do this so I hit letter slow so do not get figity. See I put the dot at the end to. I hit one button and hold it for big letter after the dot. Like this. A.B.C. Lolo showed me.

He will calm down I tell lolo so we are trying to not get figity waiting. He is not bad just no one can not get hurt. He make sure but he gets to sorry do not no the right word. But I am tired now so bye.

I missed you too, April.

lolointerupted wrote:He can not make me go in cause he says so. Makes him get so madd but make me laugh.

You're kind of fearless, huh?

lolointerupted wrote:Lolo said I can come type. I never half to do this so I hit letter slow so do not get figity. See I put the dot at the end to. I hit one button and hold it for big letter after the dot. Like this. A.B.C. Lolo showed me.

Very good!

lolointerupted wrote:He will calm down I tell lolo so we are trying to not get figity waiting. He is not bad just no one can not get hurt. He make sure but he gets to sorry do not no the right word. But I am tired now so bye.

Thank you for explaining it to me Goodnight, April!

Great to have you all back

Oh boy this is new for me letting an alt be public with permission and not a take over ......... feels a bit strange.

Thanks Lauren_Ruth
Thank you Canolime

I was so wrong about so much. I really thought I had this whole DID thing figured out but once a light started to get shined on everyone, and so many more then I thought boy oh boy did we go nutty for a bit. From what I read that is not so strange though. I guess you get so used to doing everything hush hush and secret it becomes comfortable.

Vacancy is one of mine. He is the mass protector if that makes sense. He kind of surrounds all in a protective like circle. But when he comes front it is never for a good reason. He has an objective to fix a problem and really does not care how it gets fixed it just needs to get fixed healthy or not.

I have no idea why April is immune. I am just learning to look at everyone instead of just accepting all the time loss and black outs and hiding so I might not say stuff right. So right now he is just pressing on my and making sure I know he knows I am typing. I am doing so good right this second and not getting pissed but I hate feeling violated by myself. See how nutty that is.

April is sleeping and "figity" is her new word. If she wants to come out here then I am letting her instead of saying no. The problem is I need to get used to communication and not feel so crazy at the idea of it.....

Lolo