no one else understanding/nostalgia for bad memories

you all feel some sort of separation from the "regular" world i'm sure? feel at times no one else will understand unless they have it too?

my girl bright eyes is lonely. she has people who know about us and such but they don't see it the same way, and of course it's not the same. she has people online she talks to who know and understand but there's something about physical closeness (i.e being in the same room with) to her that I do not understand. She seems to need people with their own separate bodies and such just to sit next to and all. she needs friends in her town. she needs friends in her town who have similar experiences and see them the same way. (i.e people who don't tell her i am evil or fake.)

I want to help her.

Bright eyes jumping in here. I thought Shirley and I understood each other pretty well but here i'm finding out I guess we don't completely. DId anyone think they knew their alters and find out they don't really?

and Shirley, love, if you want to help me make friends then don't talk to me while i'm talking to new people i'm trying to get to know.

0_0 is cross-talking like this ok?

and lately i've found myself almost missing that psych ward I went to years ago, wondering about the people there... I hated it there and don't want to go back it was 3 years ago but I still sometimes have this strange feeling almost as if I did miss it... in a weird way. does anyone else relate to this nostalgia for bad memories kind of thing?

I read your quote stating you do not have DID. What do you have then to have other people in your head?

I do not have anything. Antelope, on the other hand, has the blessed gift of inner sight. <_<

I do not have any type of diagnosis, but I experience a range of things and what you might call psychotic symptoms. Plus anxiety, extreme moods, depression, paranoia, ect. I've never done illicit drugs either. a Pdoc was tentatively calling it bipolar about 3 years ago before any fully developed voices came. My parents didn't like the idea of mental illness, the and meds weren't helping so we never went back. Actually the first voice I could fully converse with arrived while I was taking anti-psychotics.

The short story is since then i've been coping on my own (out of necessity). The voices and I found a way to live together. We're like a family now. Other people who know about my voices sometimes act like she doesn't have feelings and won't even talk to her. so I made her a place she could safely go and hopefully meet other people. I act as secretary.

All the stuff i mentioned in the second line I don't consider good things, but I look at Shirley and Amy and the visions as the only good part of this.

(Shirley again)And i'm not in her head I live in the mindscape with her.

but you feel it too, don't you? when you look around at the rest of the world you sense you are not like them, that you will never be like them. Wether it distresses you or makes you proud I don't know, but i'm willing to bet you've felt it at some point.

Interesting. It does sound like DID but, there was no traumatic experience in your life mentioned. Eery in a way, almost a sudden posession. Has been handling things on your own worked out for you? We are doing the same as the Original cannot afford a therapist nor wants one. Have you stopped taking the medication?

Shirley's a little miffed you're addressing only me but whatever.

no, no trauma. And none of the visionaries have ever taken over my body. Not even if I've wanted them to. I sense that Shirley's the closest to me, she's always been, so if anyone could it would be her. And she can't, so that means it's not DID right?

my couple friends call it schizophrenia unofficially for lack of a better word even though i've told them 1) they're not professionals they can't be sure, and 2) I don't have negative symptoms anymore and 3)i'm way too lucid compared to others i know who have that condition.

It's worked for me but not my first choice. I hate that everyone tells me i'm fine just to get me out of the way. Then when I do something really weird suddenly it's "you're you're being irrational you're not acting like yourself what's wrong with you." also the money thing for me, no money for professionals.

Yeah I stopped taking the meds 3 years ago I think.

Yeah, it sounds like schizophrenia to me. You can have "others" that are within you that are wholly imaginary. They can give you peace and companionship and all kinds of things that you feel you are lacking.

Alia wrote:Yeah, it sounds like schizophrenia to me. You can have "others" that are within you that are wholly imaginary. They can give you peace and companionship and all kinds of things that you feel you are lacking.

Thank you for the clarification, Alia. I was a bit confused as to what it could be. Again though, bright eyes, Shirley, we are not professionals and therefore not diagnosing you. I also apologize for not addressing the present member.

I'm not an expert on Schizophrenia, but I do know you need hallucinations or delusions to fit the diagnosis. Do the voices come from outside your head like in a schizophrenic hallucination or from inside your head like DID. The other alters in my system couldn't take over until after I came along. Jake just talked to them. Also you could not remember trauma, because it a repressed memory.

On a side note I recently watched A Beautiful mind. It's a movie about a schizophrenic based on the life of John Nash. In the movie(spoilers) John Nash has one harmful hallucinated person and a pair of somewhat benign hallucination people. Near the end he learns to live without his medications and ignore his hallucinations. Cue montage where he just sidesteps a hallucinated little girl with her arms open for a hug and her uncle who was John Nash's supposed roommate, the two benign ones. I always thought Nash was acting like a jerk towards them because they didn't ruin his life like the harmful one and he just needed to remember they weren't physical so they couldn't watch over his baby or other things.

Jef

cuteclevermonster wrote:And none of the visionaries have ever taken over my body.

I just wanted to point out that in other posts you have mentioned that you have promised not to delete what the other has written. To me that means two individuals are alternating control of at least the hands that are typing.

Nanashi wrote:Interesting. It does sound like DID but, there was no traumatic experience in your life mentioned.

cuteclevermonster wrote:no, no trauma.

Does it need to be said again and again on this forum: Not all people that have DID have trauma. Also, it is perceived trauma that 98% of DID-ers had. As an adult you may logically say you had no traumatic experiences, but as a kid many things can be perceived as traumatic. Not saying that it is DID, I'm just saying...

Alia wrote:Yeah, it sounds like schizophrenia to me. You can have "others" that are within you that are wholly imaginary.

Hey, imaginary friends, if recognized as unreal, are not schizophrenic and are simply creative and harmless though unusual in an adult. Those with imaginary friends should just tell others to stuff it. Live and let live - WITHOUT labels for unusualness. Not saying anyone's imaginary by any means (nor even unusual), I'm just saying...

Nanashi wrote:Eery in a way, almost a sudden posession

And, as a note for those who may believe in such things as an unseen realm: some people can be possessed by fairly benign demons, not all demons are Colonels of the "Satan crusade" and may be simply lost or confused as any of us can be. Though I would say they are still not supposed to dwell in this plane and should be encouraged to move on. Plus they could draw unwanted guests. AND I am DEFINITELY NOT saying that anyone's possessed, I'm just saying...

cuteclevermonster wrote:my couple friends call it schizophrenia unofficially for lack of a better word even though i've told them 1) they're not professionals they can't be sure, and 2) I don't have negative symptoms anymore and 3)i'm way too lucid compared to others i know who have that condition.

1. Diagnoses are overrated.
2. Schizophrenics are usually commanded by or frightened by their voices which are usually negative, not chatty and friend-like. (I know-my mom is a "well-functioning schizophrenic for the severity of her illness" -per her pDoc- and even her voices are um not cooperative? for want of a better word)
3. As my T mentioned just today, schizophrenics are VERY lacking in insight. Though you sound confused right now, is it really a lack of insight? or just confusion? (If you can understand and find logical meaning to this question, I submit that as insight.)
4. Another point from my T: Schizophrenics usually WANT to make friends (non-familial) but CANNOT make or keep them. You have a "couple" of friends at least, even if you are still lonely (and who isn't?).
5. People can be psychotic and still have other stuff wrong with them (DID, overactive imaginations, possessions, etc)


P.S. had to write from idget (5yo): Where's Dimples? (please no offense, she just pesters and pesters til I just give in sometimes)