Question About Co-consciousness

Hi,

I'm really trying to pay attention to what's been taking place when I dissociate and/or switch. And I was wondering if any of this sounds familiar to anyone.

I think I'm co-conscious because I am aware of some of my alters. They can talk to me inside my head. I don't have black outs. Also, sometimes I realize that one of my alters must be "in charge" at a particular moment, because I can see that I'm acting and thinking in a particular way that is very unlike my ususal self. Just yesterday one of my young alters came out and I sat back and observed, and said to her "Please don't do anything to get us noticed." So she just sat there for a few moments and she felt like crying, but didn't. And then she left. Then I could feel a more mature alter stepping in and attempting to smooth over any suspicions that the person I was talking to may have had.

So sometimes I am aware that an alter has come out, but other times I think that maybe they come out but I don't realize it until after they go back in, even though I didnt black out or lose time. It seems like I think it's actually me behaving a certain way, but in fact maybe it was an alter.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that since I don't have back outs, then I'm aware of my actions. And sometimes I think it's actually me, not an alter. But afterwards I look back and realize that maybe it really was an alter because my thoughts and behaviours were so different from my usual self. I hope this makes sense.

I was wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone. Thanks for your replies.

Yeah, that sounds familiar. If you can talk with them, then you're co-conscious.

Sometimes if someone else is out, but they aren't doing anything that I have a problem with, I don't really pay attention to the fact that it's not me in control. Then, a while after, I'm like "Wait a second..." Other times, it's just more them influencing my actions, instead of them taking control... so, there's that, too.

And of course, there are times where it's obviously not me in control.