What I Know So Far

Okay, I can say this now thanks to that wierd smell. I'm me now, just dizzy. I'm going to try to explain my alts if Nanashi has not done that well enough already. This is my point of view, not hers. I have two alts I know of and hope there are no more and no longer open to anymore. There is Nanashi and Senza. I will explain Nanashi:

Nanashi's name means "without name". To be "without name" means to have no defining on different levels. Nanashi identifies with being a she but has no real gender. That is what I have gathered from posts made. If anyone can explain why "she" has so much influence over me, it would be ALOT of help! I can't hear them but, it seems like Nanashi communicates through suggestion. That's the best I can describe it. A thought comes into my head and I might be compelled to do it. I can say what they are and embarass myself so I will wait until someone asks.
She likes being online as she is primarily present and hard to keep track of. I have used the word Nanashi in the past for numerous things: A certain character I have drawn in a story. It is interesting looking back on the development of this character from one to another. Can an alt be present for a long time without me knowing?
Nanashi is the "ideal" for me and Senza (from what I can gather from my own knowing of them). They are more so parts of me split off (sorry if that sounded like I was stating the obvious. I can't tell). She is open, beautiful, and more understanding. Her flaws seem to be she has a hard time letting go of things and people. When there comes a situation she cannot handle (as in it doesn't pertain to what she should be exposed to), Nanashi will go back.
Senza is like her twin. He almost resembles her but, the male counterpart. His personality is a polar opposite as he is "negative" emotion and Nanashi is "positive" emotion. He does not seem real to me as I have never really felt him other than the one time he tried to come to the front. That was scary! Nanashi has a check over him and keeps him happy? by feeding him what he thrives off of. They work hand-in-hand. Does that make them both bad?
That's the best I can say at the moemnt since their are alot of thoughts flying through my head at the moment. It might need detail. Can I get any feedback on what I've esxplained? Also, what is an Id?

Joshua

what I am learning ever so slow is that while I am a sum of all not all my alts hold the same belief as me and of each others as well as thoughts and actions. I am trying extremely hard not to see any as "bad" and battling with my view compared even though I see some things they have done as bad indeed. It's a strange balance of not completely absolving my sense of responsibility for my actions for all parts of me and giving some mercy to parts of me who do not have the same life experiences as me. I know it sounds bazaar. As I said to you in another post this is the start for me of understanding this. There has to be a place for me to hold myself accountable but I can not crush myself with punishment and either can and alt.

Do not get me wrong , self harm is bad and it needs to stop, committing crimes is bad and it needs to stop but acting out, making mistakes, issues with a non shared morality need mercy. Or you may find yourself in my situation where and alt is finding herself/himself so rejected that they become the rejection itself.

Just like any person would given enough time. You live adapt or die and so do your alts. So at least for me if I want mercy then I have to give it to them even if we do not see eye to eye.

make sense?
Lolo

Hi, Joshua

Nanashi wrote:If anyone can explain why "she" has so much influence over me, it would be ALOT of help!

I'm not really sure. Probably because she's a part of you, and maybe she's stronger than the other, or just understands you better? I don't think it's unusual, though. My alters have quite a bit of influence over me, too.

Nanashi wrote:I can't hear them but, it seems like Nanashi communicates through suggestion. That's the best I can describe it. A thought comes into my head and I might be compelled to do it. I can say what they are and embarass myself so I will wait until someone asks.

Alters actually communicate through thoughts. If you "hear" a thought that doesn't seem to be coming from you, that would be them Voices from alters aren't heard like hallucinations are. Hallucination voices are heard like through the ears, but alters are heard like thoughts, inside of the head.

I will ask what they are, but you really don't have to tell me, if it will embarrass you

Nanashi wrote:Can an alt be present for a long time without me knowing?

Definitely. A lot of multiples even write stories about a character they think they've made up, when they're really writing about their alters.

Nanashi wrote:Nanashi has a check over him and keeps him happy? by feeding him what he thrives off of. They work hand-in-hand. Does that make them both bad?

Hmm. I guess that depends on what/how she's feeding him, and if she encourages his negativity or tries to keep it under control.

Nanashi wrote:Also, what is an Id?

An ID?

I'm not really sure. Probably because she's a part of you, and maybe she's stronger than the other, or just understands you better? I don't think it's unusual, though. My alters have quite a bit of influence over me, too.

Thanks, I was just making sure that if she ever did decide to take over, it would not be a permanent thing.

Alters actually communicate through thoughts. If you "hear" a thought that doesn't seem to be coming from you, that would be them Voices from alters aren't heard like hallucinations are. Hallucination voices are heard like through the ears, but alters are heard like thoughts, inside of the head.

I will ask what they are, but you really don't have to tell me, if it will embarrass you

That's what I was trying to describe. It's like a thought but unspoken. I try to dismiss it as I'm talking to myself and then the voice becomes more identifiable as not me. Very unsettling.

I'll give you a hint. She/he thinks she is female and wants to do female things. Besides the mannerisms, she often gets me mistaken for being "funny". Make-up, coordinating closet and outfits, liking certain things among a host of things. You're a woman, you get the picture!

Definitely. A lot of multiples even write stories about a character they think they've made up, when they're really writing about their alters.

This is by far the biggest realization for me Nanashi was around. My hero was pretty typical for the most part and an idea to change him came. I change my mind alot in my stories. He became more like a pretty boy but that wasn't enought. They had to be seperate. So I had two characters I had no idea what to do with. The original name was Shinsei but when I found the name Nanashi, it was like a voice was screaming, "That's it! That's it!"
I have had more characters spawn from such thoughts and they have a common similarity because of it.
I'll give you a hint. She/he thinks she is female and wants to do female things. Besides the mannerisms, she often gets me mistaken for being "funny". Make-up, coordinating closet and outfits, liking certain things among a host of things. You're a woman, you get the picture!

Hmm. I guess that depends on what/how she's feeding him, and if she encourages his negativity or tries to keep it under control.

It's like give the baby what it wants and it will go to sleep. I think she knows it's bad for him but, it is his nature and she takes care of him. She can keep him under control or in the back for our sake but, never wants him to get past her or myself. That's just the feeling I get.

An ID?

Yes. LIke in Freudian theory, I think.

-Joshua-

Id, ego, and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described. According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organised, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralising role.

That was from wikipedia. I tried to respond on my own and my thoughts were too jumbled to make any sense.

Think of the ego as yourself. It's who you are. (redundant, I know.) The id is primal and instinctual. Not necessarily bad. Think of him like in the old cartoons of the little devil sitting on your shoulder. In contrast, the superego would be the little angel or Jiminy Cricket. It is what tries to tell you to do what you see to be good things. They all seem to keep each other in check but the decision making abilities reside in the ego. Um... usually. My id and I are probably a little too friendly.

Thank you for your answer. I appreciate it.

My pleasure. I so rarely have answers or information for anyone.

Nanashi wrote:I'll give you a hint. She/he thinks she is female and wants to do female things. Besides the mannerisms, she often gets me mistaken for being "funny". Make-up, coordinating closet and outfits, liking certain things among a host of things. You're a woman, you get the picture!

Ah, okay

Nanashi wrote:The original name was Shinsei but when I found the name Nanashi, it was like a voice was screaming, "That's it! That's it!"

She really likes that name, huh?

Nanashi wrote:It's like give the baby what it wants and it will go to sleep. I think she knows it's bad for him but, it is his nature and she takes care of him. She can keep him under control or in the back for our sake but, never wants him to get past her or myself. That's just the feeling I get.

Got it. I guess that's not too bad, as long as she doesn't really let him do too much.

In my opinion, I have added a certain amount a balance to his life. I mean, he was not all that organized before and now he is tidier. When I am not at front I at least remind him of it. Besides, no one in the house has figured out that I am here. Well, one night the Original was going to tell his twin but, that thankfully ended before it began.

As for Senza, he cannot help but take in the negative emotions felt while we are here. I "ween" him moderately so he does not feel shafted nor drowned in it. He is really quiet and talks little. That is okay as he is at least capable of smiling.