cooperation vs integration.

HI,
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD and DID. I saw my therapist for the first time last week. She told me that she believes in coopreation between alters rather than Integration. She said that she views integration as murder. I dont have much knowledge about this since it was a recent diagnoses. What do you guys think ? Would it be better for me to work on integration or go wiht what the therapist says and work on cooperation?

anzea,

I thnk that if I were you I would give some thought to shopping around for a different therapist. I have been DID all of my life and only in the past few years hae I been mostly integrated. I partially agree with your therapist. You DO need cooperation in the system that comprises your alters. But, integration is not a bad thing and certainly not the end or death of your alters. They just become one with you. Most of my 80 or so integrations took place spontaneously. They integrated into be at their own timing and of their own free will. And the integration has stayed in place. There was a time many years ago when I pushed for integration to take place. That only came undone withn a short period of time. So, rushing it isn't a good thing to do either.

Maybe you could discuss the issue of integration more with your therapist and she may be able to see integration as a good thing. My therapist is quite ok either way...but I prefer to be integrated. Like I said though...no rushing or forcing.

Wishing you well....
Sweetngentle

As someone who made a mistake and forced integration (of course it didn't last), I'd have to say that the decicion of whether to integrate or not is ultimately not up to your therapist or you, but each individual alter. Only they can make that choice for themselves, and seems to be the only way that it actually 'works'.

So whether your therapists believes in integration or not, I would suggest discussing it first, all of you, and you should make up your own minds.

Just our 2c

Lahl

Since you are only recenty diagnosed, I think that you will first learn about your inner-world. Who are the alters, what are their stories.. Than you start working together, cooperation helps you realy to function in the daily life. Integration is not for everyone an option, not everyone likes to integrate and it is not really nessesary.
Meander (Netherlands)

I think that you can't have one without the other and as therapy progresses each naturally occurs. When I first realized my diagnosis of mpd, I was dead set against intergration but did work towards cooperation. In the past year, there have been spontaneous integrations which caught me totally by surprised. I guess when the system is ready to integrate or cooperate it will do just that.
It is a system, built to help us survive what is unsurvivable. As our situations become "safer" that system continues to help us function in the best way for our overall good, though "overall good" may be a cloudy definition dependant on past circumstances we were in.
At least that's my take on it so far, but this is a process that is always ongoing, so I am never really set in stone about anything.

I strongly support sweetngentle's response to your (Azea's) concerns, especially with regard to shopping for another therapist. You need a therapist who is able to understand the process of cooperation and integration. Integration is a gradual process - the psyche has its own timeline and wisdom of its own. The defenses or walls that have separated the whole you into parts (alters) gradually become more porus and eventually will dissolve and become a part of you. No part of you (an alter) is ever murdered or integrated for that matter until they decide (They will feel it's natural, and not frightening to become part of YOU. ) Overall, my experience of DID is very similar to sweetngentle's.

From my experience, when I recognized that I had a problem ie there was a perceptable jump to another person's voice, that is when you should get pissed and apply all energies regardless to defeat it. I didn't react as strongly a the time and whereas there was a separation that blended and now I have to work doubly hard at defeating what I don't want which is a change that I never wanted. I'm getting better but you've got to defeat any fear response immediately is the best

lol wow, theres something ###$ up about your therapist.

Look at it this way :

You were 1 person

Bad $#%^ happened

To cope you fragmented

Now the fragments are not needed to protect you, and because of te fragmentation your emotions, memories and personality are compartmentalized.

In order to fix that compartmetalization to maximize functionality and sense of self with peace you need to bring all the different you's together and reform as one, the way it should have been and would have been if you didnt need to utalize this very sensitive, extreme, and real survival technique.

Nobod "dies". Nobody is supposed to be left behind. All it means when you integrate is that you come together under one banner, and benefit from one anothers collective experience, knowledge, and strengths.

Its a good thing, and any therapist who leers away from it Id question their ethics and knowledge. They sound destructive and more likely to be deliberately misinforming you to keep things a certain way that isnt in your best interest.

In other words.. RUNNNN FOREST, RUNNN! lol

Get the ###$ away from that Therapist imo.

catnip

great posting! i agree with a lot of what has been said. no one "is murdered". it feels more like the walls keeping "us" separate, slowly crumble. some of my parts want to be walled up like fort knox. another thinks; if i don't look at it, it will go away by it's self. that one refuses therapy, denies having a problem, and refuses to look at the past. i keep asking her, "then who are you talking to?"

how can someone be forced to intergrate? i don't understand. my parts are very different from each other. i can't force them to do anything, much less intergrate. we can sometimes reach an agreement. i try to think of everyone (all parts) involved when i make a decision, and do what is best for everone as a whole. i try not to think about the past, and try to learn how to live "now". from time to time something reminds me of "it" and triggers a change. i can't controll life around me. it just happens. i try to avoid triggers, but you know "it's" going to happen. i can control my behavior to a point, but i can't control or "be" others parts. they have a mind of their own.