Treat your alters with love, respect and kindness and give them time to catch up with where you are at today.
Give yourselves time to heal.
See DID as a blessing that saved your life when there was nothing else you could do.
Try to get an affordable T to help you on your healing journey.
Keep a journal and an appointment book.
It's OK to feel bad sometimes. The alters were made to protect you so allow yourself to feel.
When you feel safe enough, try to work on communicating with alters.
Appreciate this community! It just may save you a lot of searching in the dark.
Trust the process. You created this. It's called the creative illness. DID is a survivors tool. Trust it and use it well.
It takes time, effort and kindness to develop sufficient trust.
There are lots of books out there, check out the net and your local library.
Integration isn't necessary. We can merge or blend with alters. Mostly this means that they are still there but we have agreed to get along and work together in order to protect ourselves.
Don't be afraid to contact the T as often as needed.
Some people find the word 'fragmented' confusing. It normally refers to a fragmented personality, maybe due to trauma but not necessarily so. The fragmented parts are what we refer to as our alters. It's thought that each fragment of a person's personality takes on a persona of it's own giving the impression of a separate person. But in reality, it is a part of you.
The creation of alters is a wonderful form of protection but some people can become overwhelmed by them. The more information you have the better you cope with alters.
New to DID? Don't worry if some of this doesn't make much sense. As you progress and come to know the alters, it will begin to make a lot more sense.
Complete recovery may not be possible but it is possible to learn to get along and this makes life a whole lot easier long term.
DID is still a controversial diagnoses and it may be quite difficult to find a T with enough experience to help you. It wouldn't hurt to ask right off if they have dealt with DID before.
Learning to get along with alters and live with DID can take years. So don't expect any miracle cures and try to be patient and helpful.
If you find it difficult to talk to the T in the beginning, it may help to write a few things down.
In my experience on occasion a few alters will try to emerge at once. This can be quite confusing and even scary. Normally I can tell them to back off or I'll say "one at a time". If that doesn't work I might be headed for a psychotic break and feel the need to get some help. It's like the mind is racing, inside it's like everyone talking at once, all wanting to be heard.
I think one of the best pieces of advice is to not panic - I know easier said than done sometimes. But panicking only makes things worse. Staying calm and asking a few questions helps more.
Keeping in mind that DID is different for each of us. I can only speak from my own perspective. Maybe you would like to add some of your experience here to help others recognise DID and get some tips on how to cope with it.
There seems to be three main types the protector, the provider, and the controller, there could be more.... I'll come back to this one. …….
Acceptance works wonders. Once you know for sure what is going on and accept it, everything gets easier and becomes clearer. But you also have to accept that you may never have all the answers to all your questions.
Love your alters they have done a wonderful job protecting you when you didn't have the strength or the knowledge to protect yourself. Talk to them, heal them, bring them up to date and most of all treat them with the same respect you would treat yourself. You can trust them because they are a part of you.
Never call yourself stupid an alter might think you are referring to them and become hostile.
Trust the reason for creating the system and trust in the person who created it - You. Believe in your system and work with it.
Every part in every system, including cores, are there for a reason. They deserve respect and love. We know doing that isn't always easy. But, we've learned that respecting them for what they've done makes it easier to think about loving them. They have worked really hard for you even when you weren't aware of them.
If they seem a bit pissed off at you it's just that they are afraid and confused too. They think you may not need them anymore and try to get rid of them after all they have done for you. You can make things easier by reassuring them that you have no intentions of getting rid of them, and that you are very grateful for all their help.
Think of your head as a house, your house, and your alters are houseguests. If one of your alters is being a pain or hostile, tell them to behave or to take a back seat for awhile. Remember... you're the owner of the house. You make the rules.
Create your own record sheet with information that would help whoever you talk to; T, hospital, doctor, family. Saves having to go over the same all things again and again.
Organise finances. Try to have bills paid automatically from a separate account. A spending budget can be helpful if alters like to shop. Savings can be put into a long term savings account that by the time you can get to it you'll have a pretty good handle on everything.
Try to plan your day the evening before. Less chance of being left at a loose end where alters can get you into trouble.
Allowing someone else to take care of meds is another way to keep everyone safe. If you are on meds and may be vulnerable from time to time ask a close friend or family member to take care of your meds.
Boots self esteem by creating and accomplishing small goals. A shopping trip, cooking a meal for someone, making something, knitting something, painting something etc.
Refuse to allow other people's negative comments to get you down or have you doubting yourself or your ability to cope with DID.
If you should feel unsafe it is important to recognize the feeling and identity the cause. Do whatever you have to in order to feel safe.
There are things we can use to ground us and make us feel safer. A small rock is one that I find useful. I keep it in my pocket and if I begin to feel anxious I rub it. It's strong and it's hard and it helps me feel calmer. Having a small teddy bear tied to my bag helps alters to know I am always aware of them and that I'm looking out for them no matter where I go.
Inner harmony is important, it can be learned and it can be shared. And it helps keep the peace.
You can buy them small gifts and have them around your home to let them know you are thinking of them. Some alters like to see colouring books and pens that they can use, paints, cookies etc.
This might seem a bit silly but I found it fun. You can look in Google images and fine pictures that resemble the alters. You may already know what they look like but I found this helpful when trying to describe them to someone else.
DID can be tough, especially if you are just becoming aware of it, but it doesn't have to be. Make friends with your alters, try to give them what they ask for, work to understand why they behave like they do. Life with DID can be fun and funny, it's not all doom and gloom.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you want and need. Sometimes having sometime to yourself can be relaxing. Simply ask them to allow you this time on your own. It's all about communication, negotiation and compromise. And if your good at bargaining that will help too.
As you work to get to know them and bring them all closer together, they are going to test you to make sure it's not a trick. Be kind and gentle and patient - especially with yourself.
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