Hi everyone... I'm new here...

I wanted to introduce myself, so that i can explain my situation here ^-^

So, Hello, I'm Secret, a boy, I'm 18 (almost 19) years old, and my girfriend is 17 (and a half)

I will appologize at the begginig, because I know that when I talk, I always mix every topic, and never end what I start saying. I also use a lot of "( )" so my texts can b very confusing, but that's my mind

First of all, I don't have DID. I came to this forum because my girlfriend is the one with DID, and I'm the only one who knows that. Well, to be honest, almost the only one. She told her ex too, but he didn't believe her and did everything wrong, accused her of lying, and many other things that messed up everything.
But, I was saying: My girfriend has DID, and, because I'm the only one who knows, so she always talks to me whenever something happens, and I've been as understanding as I can, and she always says I'm a really good supporter. I know many of her alters (I usually like to call them the "girls", though one I haven't met yet is a man).
She doesn't go to therapy and I don't think she should, either. We have never even spoken about therapy, because we don't think it's necessary, as she can cope with it with no problem.
Again, I was saying: I have spoken (through the phone, we spend hours talking) with 7 (8 including her) of her alters (I won't give their names until I have permission from my GF), all of them are girls, ranging from ages 6 to 18-19, but I have personally met three of them (they don't usually come out around people). Still, I (and she) know the names of 9 of them, including her, and we know that there are many to come and introduce themselves.

She can speak with them, and also see them. They share a "room" (actually a huge space, shaped like a labyrinth, with many unkown places, that represents her mind, of course. I usually call that her "physical mental space". They all live there, although some of them reside in the unknown places, and she has seen that there are more people there. There they talk, sleep, play, and do all kind of stuff. They have an agreement, so they wont come out in font of other people, but my GF is prone to passing out, so one of them usually has to be in charge. The agreement also says that, if one of them is out in front of people, she will act normally, so that nobody would notice (still, I can realise who is in charge very easily, now that I know all of them so well). Sometimes it's a bit confusing, though, cause only one of them is my girlfriend, but for some reason, I feel very comfortable with that, I get on well with all of them, and they have helped me many times, when something happens to her (the "main")



I will tell you more about them in the future, now I will talk a little about myself.

I don't have DID, as I said, or any other dissociative dissordr. I dont actually suffer from any psychological dissorder, at least the ones that can compromise my lifestyle. But, to be honest, I believe that I may have some mild ones (my way of thinking cannot be THAT different to that of normal people without it meaning a mild dissorder, can it? =P). But, seriously, I may have mild problems, and I change a lot, but i don't act out of impulse, so my changing emotions have never affected my life in a negative way. Well, that if we dont take into consideration about 10 years of suicidal desires that were put off for different excuses I had to create xD
But now things have changed a lot, I still have the same way of thinking I did, but now I have a true reason to stay alive, so that's gone (although sometimes the thoughts comes back, it's nothing but thoughts, not wishes). Also look at my signature, and my avatar image, and you will understand more about me =D

Well, that's all for now, I hope we can get to know each other. As I said, I'm here because I want to meet people who are in the same situation that I am, or that my GF is, and have someone to talk about what's going on ^-^


Sorry for making it too long, I hope you read it.


EDIT: I realised my "E" doesnt work correctly, excuse m for that xD
Oh, and, btw, I love anime and manga =3

Hi! Welcome.
Pull up a chair.

Secret,

You seem to have a good handle on this Since you are her only confidant it might help to have a special time for talking about them and visiting with them in order not to become overwhelmed by it all. They should all be fine with this if they know that you care for her and want only the best for her. After all that's why they are there - to look out for her.

I expect a lot of the time you feel like you're keeping an ear out for changes. It's important to know that you treat each alter depending on their age etc. You and your girlfriend may want to make a pact that you only be intimate with her. Some rules, guidelines and boundaries may help.

You sound pretty well informed. I have something somewhere about living with a DID person. I'll see if I can find it. You might find it useful.

You must take care of yourself too because it can be pretty exhausting dealing with this. I hope you’ll feel comfortable here to open up more about your own stuff.

I found this. I hope it helps.

http://www.op.net/~jeffv/so1.htm

Thanks for the manual, I'm already reading it

Lillyrose wrote:Since you are her only confidant it might help to have a special time for talking about them and visiting with them in order not to become overwhelmed by it all.

She spends a lot of time with them, and they are especially close whenever she is feeling sad or hurt for some reason
I havn't spoken to them lately, but that's mainly because there have been a lot of things going on (for example, right now she is on a 2-week trip with the school), so we try to be together (only me and her) as much time as we can...

Lillyrose wrote:They should all be fine with this if they know that you care for her and want only the best for her. After all that's why they are there - to look out for her.

Yep, I agree with that. Most of the time we get on really well (even when one of them is constantly threatening my life xD), but sometimes, especially if I do something wrong or if she misunderstands me (she is very prone to thinking I will get angry or sad because of what she does), they can get really angry at me. Still, I really trust them to take good care of her whenevr I'm not around, or in the issues I can't help.

Lillyrose wrote:I expect a lot of the time you feel like you're keeping an ear out for changes. It's important to know that you treat each alter depending on their age etc.

Of course, they all are treated dpending on their age and personality.

Lillyrose wrote:You and your girlfriend may want to make a pact that you only be intimate with her. Some rules, guidelines and boundaries may help.

We don't even need to do that. We consider every one of them as different individuals, so being with them would be almost the same as cheating

Lillyrose wrote:You must take care of yourself too because it can be pretty exhausting dealing with this. I hope you’ll feel comfortable here to open up more about your own stuff.

Well, I'm not really used to doing that, I try to give her all of my fre (and sometimes busy) time and attention, because she needs a lot of support... I don't actuually need that much, I'm OK with just talking to others about the things that get my attention, and that's the reason I came here

Thanks for everything, including the manual =D


Oh, and I must appologize again for the lenght of my texts, maybe you'll have to get used to that, I dont know when to stop writing xD

You’re welcome. Glad to help.
Just keep in mind that you might think you’re okay and that you don’t want to talk, and that could be true for now. But things build up over time. Just being aware of that is good enough.

Take care.

Welcome, Secret! It's nice that you're there for her.

Secret wrote:That led to some suicidal attempts (at the age of four O_O)

Omg, that's young


A couple of significant others pop in here every now and then, so you're not the only one here I hope you find a lot of useful information here!