New and questioning

Well, denial is normal, so don't feel too bad about it. Good luck with telling your therapist

Before I read about alters being in control of only parts, I thought maybe that was kind of proof that it was my imagination or something. I'm glad alters can do that. I would have done something stupid, if they couldn't

InfinitD wrote:And thank you for the compliment on the signature. We tried to put just one quote but none of us could agree which one (they both seem so pertinent) so we just put both. lol

I think you made the right decision. I like them both

A lot of the time doubting our sanity, and wondering if this is just our imagination, gets in the way of us moving on with the process. I found simply accepting it and thinking to myself “It is what it is” help me to stay calm and just let things work themselves out helped a lot.

We can drive ourselves half crazy trying to work it all out in one go. It takes time. And we are not crazy. This is something we did when we were too young to realise we were doing it. And we did it to stay safe. As we grew, it became more and more a part of who we are. We can’t simply drop it like a hot brick just because we have got older and more capable of taking care of ourselves. It’s like a very close, very old friend, we can’t just make it go away. And we can learn to live with it quite happily.

InfinitD wrote:This is EXACTLY how I (and we) feel sometimes! And an excellent analogy that I am going to use to talk to my T who I had trouble describing this to.

I'm glad I could help.

Now I'm going to ramble a bit because it's been a while. I should probably start a new topic, but...eh. It's still relevant.

Things got a little weird for me for a while, so I was trying to figure things out on my own, but now I have more questions... (Of course )

So, I was pretty sure I wasn't switching (except for that co-piloting thing), until a couple of things happened that made me unsure... So usually, I'm the one in control of my thoughts right? I'm used to getting input sometimes, but then one time I noticed that A) I was thinking things that were definitely not things I'd normally think, and B) I could still hear my normal thoughts, but they weren't coming from me. Um... It's a little hard to describe. Like first I was me, thinking my own things, and then I was someone else, thinking new things, but the me I was before (who I normally think of myself as) was still there, giving the new me input, instead of the other way around.

I don't think I've heard of anything like this before. I could still remember it clearly afterwards. Is that switching while co-conscious or something completely different? If it is I wasn't expecting it to be like that... The first time was kind of a fluke I think, but it happened much more prominently again last night and this time I think I recognized it, but at the same time I was also like "If this is a switch I don't want to come back out..." so I didn't... Only reason I needed to stick around was to check for grammar because whoever that may have been had terrible grammar and I didn't want to freak out friend by being obvious... I dunno if I should ask her if she noticed either. ._. Also, this may or may not be relevant, but before that happened that time I'd completely zoned out for whatever reason (I know this reason ) and couldn't bring myself out of it. ...Then I watched cute kittens on Youtube and turned into a kitten... ...who then ran away once she realized kittens couldn't type, but I managed to coax her back (because I didn't want to be there)...

So yeah, I have no idea... That's why I'm asking, obviously.

Skink wrote:I'm used to getting input sometimes, but then one time I noticed that A) I was thinking things that were definitely not things I'd normally think, and B) I could still hear my normal thoughts, but they weren't coming from me. Um... It's a little hard to describe. Like first I was me, thinking my own things, and then I was someone else, thinking new things, but the me I was before (who I normally think of myself as) was still there, giving the new me input, instead of the other way around.

I'm going to need some clarification

Input from alters?

Were you in control of the body?

Maybe you switched and it just confused you. Like you were the one in control, then someone else took over, so it seemed like the thoughts that were from you are now coming from someone else, because you kind of switched places. Does that make any sense? You're always you... it's just control that changes.

Skink wrote:Is that switching while co-conscious or something completely different? If it is I wasn't expecting it to be like that...

That's what I'm thinking it was. Have you only had blackout switches, before?

Skink wrote:Only reason I needed to stick around was to check for grammar because whoever that may have been had terrible grammar and I didn't want to freak out friend by being obvious

Skink wrote:Then I watched cute kittens on Youtube and turned into a kitten... ...who then ran away once she realized kittens couldn't type, but I managed to coax her back (because I didn't want to be there)...

You mean you have a cat alter?

canolime wrote:I'm going to need some clarification

Input from alters?

Were you in control of the body?

Well, I wasn't really doing anything that active so it's hard to say who was controlling the body. I mean, I was chatting online. I think I may have been the one typing though.

As for input, um, well there's I guess "primary thoughts" from whoever's in control (usually me), and then "secondary thoughts" that are a little softer and kinda seem like they're off to the side, that are probably alters.

canolime wrote:Maybe you switched and it just confused you. Like you were the one in control, then someone else took over, so it seemed like the thoughts that were from you are now coming from someone else, because you kind of switched places. Does that make any sense? You're always you... it's just control that changes.

That sounds like a good explanation. I was wondering if that was the case but it still seemed weird to me, so I had to ask...

canolime wrote:

Skink wrote:Is that switching while co-conscious or something completely different? If it is I wasn't expecting it to be like that...

That's what I'm thinking it was. Have you only had blackout switches, before?

Well, I'm not sure... Those may have been the only ones that have been obvious? I'd never thought about switching at all until after I started posting here so maybe I just didn't recognize it?

canolime wrote:You mean you have a cat alter?

Apparently. She seemed more like a little girl who likes to act like a cat though. She did seem honestly surprised when she noticed we had hands instead of paws though.

Skink wrote:Well, I wasn't really doing anything that active so it's hard to say who was controlling the body. I mean, I was chatting online. I think I may have been the one typing though.

Ah, okay. It's hard for me to tell, too. For years I couldn't figure out if I was actually not doing these things, or if I just felt like I wasn't. So I decided the next time it happened, I would move my hand in a certain way. If I wasn't in control, I wouldn't be able to do it. The next time it happened, and I tested it out, I couldn't move my hand the way I wanted, at all I was shocked

Anyway, my point... next time, try to do something specific.

Skink wrote:Well, I'm not sure... Those may have been the only ones that have been obvious? I'd never thought about switching at all until after I started posting here so maybe I just didn't recognize it?

Yeah, I think that's possible. Sometimes it's more obvious, and being able to recognize it might help

Skink wrote:Apparently. She seemed more like a little girl who likes to act like a cat though. She did seem honestly surprised when she noticed we had hands instead of paws though.

That's cute I know a couple of other systems on here also have animal alters (or kids pretending to be animals ).