Stop shutting me out arggghhh!!!

by **rex** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:24 pm

My host josh has kept shutting me out for years and its really p!!!!! me of.
I have only come out now&took over because at night is the only time he is less aware and less controlling and Ive always looked after the guy since he was five, why? he keeps shutting me out is beyond me, when things got rough between him and his parents, I took over.

He has only let me out recently as he had been ignoring me and I couldn't take it longer so I took over of my own accord.

When I first discovered I had DID and of my alters I accepted that I had a mental disorder, but I didn't accept my alters. I was mental wreck back then and I try not to blame myself for how I treated them. It took a few moths before I accepted them. Josh should be over his initial trauma and now he's just in denial. Have you tried leaving a note behind for him. You should also present evidence of his condition, and some info about DID.

by **josh_alters** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 8:11 am

I am not in denial and I know you've probably heard this one before.
I am just trying to get used to this as when I was younger it was very hard and confusing.

I wrote this on another forum, I hope you don't mind me posting it here, As it just saves time.

I have had multiple personalities since I was five and It scared me, I would forget things and loose track of time and I would do something and I didn't know why? so I blocked it out but this has only made things worse in the long run, I have experienced more blackouts and I have lost a lot more track of time and have also woke up whilst my other personality was in control.

Its a very strange experience, when I am looking at myself in the other person unable to move or control my physical actions, I don't usually think but I have always talked to myself but it turned out I was speaking to Rex my other personality who is very protective of me but can also make mischief in my absence.

My mood can change quite rapidly and I get angry for no reason and I can get quite obsessive about things.

I am not going to lie and say I wasn't an only child, I was and have had a lot of problems in my life.

With regards to letting Rex out more often, again let me emphasize I'm not in denial, I accept this completely.
I am just having a hard time adjusting to the way things are now.

I understand why Rex is unhappy, I'm sure I would be to, I'm just trying to get help so that I can manage this properly.

by **rex** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 8:25 pm

I just wish you would let me out more, I know we haven't been on the best of terms. Also can we come to some arrangement as I don't know when to come out or when I am able to or allowed to, This would help a lot, what would also help, If you would get to know me better as this is making me awkward and I feel out of place.

by **josh_alters** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 8:53 pm

Well I'm still not sure about that and the time sorting of things, I will let you know when I know lol

I do feel a bit better, now we are talking more to each other and more then we use to.
I will come to some arrangement at some point, In terms of when who is taking control etc, I just need to figure that out, hehe

by **J3f** » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:04 am

Now I just think your stonewalling. You have to give him some time for himself even if you haven't figured out how manage time just yet. In my system we get about 2 days a week (4 0f us) each until we start school next week. Can he have just a couple days a week, or some of your daily off time.

Jef

by **Mr. Bates** » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:04 am

Ah, I see, not denial, communication breakdown. Yeah, definitely start working on that guys. Josh, you need to be more vocal with your alters. I know it's "weird", but they're a part of you, and the ONLY way to a stable system is through strong communication within the system. And bend a little. Compromise is also VERY important, or they'll lash out at you. I think days at a time is a bit extreme, but definitely a few hours every day would be a good starting point.

by **josh_alters** » Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:39 am

Yes I will definitely do that, I was scared to admit it to myself that I had DID to begin with.
Daft I know, I just felt a bit knocked off course and according to Rex there is another personality/alter.
I think I have a good idea who or where from, I will try to explain.

Just before I turned 5, I remember that over night I changed, my personality had in a sense gone and was replaced by this stronger more dominent personality and when I think about It, I feel lost.
Did my personality split? or something, As I can only remember fragments of my personality before then and Rex has been with me since I was 5 according to him.

Stop shutting me out arggghhh!!!

Stop shutting me out arggghhh!!!

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